To not understand how people manage to make such a meal out of Christmas?

[BlueBananas]

All you hear this time of year is 'oh I haven't got the potatoes peeled yet' 'I haven't cleaned the windows' 'I haven't hoovered the roof' type moans
Am I the only one that just doesn't get it?

I love Christmas, it's a huge thing in our family it really is, but it takes a couple of hours to cook a meal and why exactly are you all cleaning like mad people? I get that if you have guests then you clean yes, but only normal amounts of cleaning, why do people have to bleach all of their silverware and clean out cupboards? Why? Will Santa not come otherwise? And surely it's only clean for about 15 seconds until all the presents have been opened/chocolate eaten/guests descend? Then it looks like you never bothered, so why bother?

I'm starting to see that our Christmases are so lovely and relaxed and happy and I'm so glad

AIBU to think that everybody just needs to calm down a little bit?

*know not now.

I enjoyed watching a thing on T.V. about how Christmas had changed over the decades since the 1940s, it was really interesting to see how it became more and more indulgent over the years.

I'm tempted to reduce Christmas next year - it's all gone a bit ott. I stopped doing my christmas cards this year. I think having dc in school makes it more of a whirlwind - you have to find craft stuff, dress up stuff, christmas jumper, christmas packed lunch, christmas cards, money for this, school fair prize gift, gifts for teacher, TA....it goes on and on! On top of all the other stuff I have to do to get ready - tree, decorations, food, house clean, house rearrange to accomodate people, struggling with money, ordering turkey, people saying they don't want to eat the turkey I bloody ordered.

I'm tempted to do lasagne next year.

Also, I once saw a lady hoovering her roof. No idea what she was doing up there, but she had the upright vac going.

Took a day off at the beginning of December and ordered all the gifts for all the family in the UK and us 4 in the USA, been collecting stocking fillers for the dcs since the summer so wrapped those, wrote and posted Xmas cards. Done and dusted in less than a day.

There are 4 of us for Christmas day, we're having a bbq so will just buy some steak and lobster tails I might even buy the side dishes

I proper laughed at "hoover the roof"
It's blowing a gale here at the moment so I expect mines getting the reverse Hoover effect!

I do like my house tidy at Christmas as in no aired up, all washing and ironing hidden in wardrobe put away. Just the general everyday stuff out of sight. But that's not because I'm a neat freak but more because enough crap gets strew away Christmas Day without the usual crap being there in the first place!

I have guests Christmas Eve - so it'll be tidied by then.

I don't like Christmas, DH does = DH is in charge of it all. I am a willing participant and will do/have done 50% of the thinking/buying/cleaning. DH will cook. No stress for either of us.

Next year, Christmas is going to be on a beach somewhere like Thailand or Bali. I am so looking forward to it, but I think DH will miss all the traditional Christmas stuff which I would happily ditch.

The only reason I like to have it clean is that I feel I can then relax in clean surroundings and I haven't got to worry for a day or two about jobs around the house.

Mind you, it's taken me two months to put the new curtains up. Always said I'd get them and put up before Xmas - have done it today!

I normally go nuts on cleaning because my Nana's pre-New-Year clean is drummed into me, but I'll be fucked if I'm doing it between Christmas and New Year. Also regularly have 12 extra people staying in my house so my normal 'hide there' spots also have to be cleaned out.

I had a woman rolling her eyes at my trolley yesterday. It was full of the drinks and non-perishables we'll be taking. She asked if I was feeding the 5000 and looked mortified when I said "No, just 19 in a couple of cottages, away from shops for a week."

Is it stressful normally? Yep. Is it worth it? Yep!

Fucking off to a cottage has been more stress than normal. I'm hoping the promise of being more relaxing than normal will kick in once we are there!

I don't stress about the meal - I admit I stress about the rest.

It's mostly the trying to remember to do everything that stresses me and isn't helped by 2 out of 4 of us havinf birthdays within 2 days of Christmas.

rickety I have made lasagne before on Xmas day

people saying they don't want to eat the turkey I bloody ordered.

People can go hungry then, can't they? I hate this kind of thing. Had Xmas at home for friends and a couple of family members once and did beef. Two people wanted it well done, which I hate, but DP wanted to accommodate them so against my better judgement we did.

Result: an expensive lovely joint of beef, overcooked and dry, to the taste of two fucking irritating anyway guests and a bit underwhelming, to say the least, for everyone else.

Now I cook to my tastes.

(Whispers, as one who has Christmas bedding for DD)
I bought a Christmas duvet cover and pillowcase last year, in a fit of guilt about something else for DD and as I saw a nice set, reasonably priced, when I was late night grocery shopping. DD loved it.

This year, as DD and I were doing HER Christmas shopping, I saw plain red sheets and pillowcases in Primark, and picked up a set to go with the duvet set, rather than trying to pick whether the pink, lilac or blue fitted sheet (her regular options) worked best with the red and white scheme.

I also have Christmas towels - a few different hand towels gathered over the years. They come out for Christmas week (around 20th) and go back in the box (washed) when the tree comes down on 6th Jan.

I have been teaching myself though, over years of Christmas and hosting other events, to not stress the small stuff. Once the toilet is clean for guests, there are beds made up for any guests staying over, and there is food of some description, I try now to focus on relaxing and enjoying their company rather than on the state of the house and the fabulousness of the repast.

Tbf nobody wants to be food shopping boxing day or whenever so doing a big shop plus a turkey and booze shop is normal ime

But you don't realistically have to get much extra for Boxing Day unless you're entertaining, in our house we just hit the leftovers. And there's no intrinsic reason why you have to do a normal big shop before Christmas rather than after, in fact if you leave it the chances are you can pick up a lot of it more cheaply when they slash prices to get rid of things.

I think it's just because people want everything to feel perfect at Christmas, and sometimes it's the only time all year when they might host friends and family and ave overnight guests so they want it to be just right.

The rest of the year you can shove all your clutter to one end of the dining table and sling a roast on the other end and no-one cares. But at Christmas there's so much extra stuff in the house anyway that having everyday clutter and mess around you would be stressful and spoil the look of things. And even if it's the only week of the year when it happens, you feel sort of purged and calm once you know everything is clean and shipshape.

Personally I think the trolleys pulled high thing is to do with what's drilled into us from oldie days when shops closed a lot longer and bad weather was harder to deal with plus it's prob booze mainly filling it so no ones driving to the shops any time soon lol .

I like to clean before Christmas so we can celebrate with low mantince and welcome the new year in with a clean organised envoroment but I'm ocd. Plus it's Easyer to atack the Christmas trama ,where to put what , you don't want to put nice new things in a dirty closet , that thing you need that is buried under piles of wrapping paper .
We also tend to spend more time in the home at Christmas so it makes sense we have a nice envoroment to spend the time in .
I love Christmas and enjoy it every year and yes I'm one of those people that start next years Christmas shopping before this ones over .
Basically I like to put my feet up with a glass of mulled wine over Christmas whilst the hubby does the cooking with the least stress possible.

I'm in no way a martyr but I definitely don't agree that Christmas is just a day....
From 24th til New Years Day we tend to be really busy getting together with friends and family, we usually have a little trip to London etc. So for me it's important that the house is sparkling clean and everything is organised prior to Christmas Eve so I can enjoy this time fully with my DP and DC.

I do go OTT with cooking and presents and wine but we always have a bloody lovely time so it's totally worth it. As many others have said, to each their own.

Yes, it's no more work than any other big family get together really, but then not everyone else will be doing a big family get together at the same time. If I was catering for 6 people one day for a whole day, then 8 the next day (so not able to get to the shops the following day) then I would have a packed trolly, although normally this would be no bother getting everything, because I wouldn't have to get past hundreds of others doing the same thing...

The house needs cleaning, normally I wouldn't have a big family get together when the DCs are around. I wouldn't normally have to get lots of gifts and deal with other people's traditions.

It all sort of reminds me of those weddings with brides who lose their shit if everythings not 'perfect' and guests being unreasonably demanding making a happy occasion a stressful nightmare for everyone because theyve lost sight of what it should be about.

We just don't have any of this palaver because normally me or Dh have to work so it's an enforced lowkey xmas and I actually appreciate that. On the rare occasion we are both off we are so damn grateful it's easy not to sweat the small stuff.

I'm not being smug and I do genuinely feel sorry for those who are having to do loads of extra work because it's expected of them and guests who are bloody awkward and don't appreciate whats being done for them.

On a somber note (and without trying to sound like a patronizing twat) having been very ill this year, I can honestly say lifes too short, Get yourself a curry like the poster upthread.

Can people try to appreciate that everyone does different things, so your opinion on my trolley is not only unasked for, its also erroneous and a bit stupid.
Why do you care if someone is shopping like the Apocalypse is coming while you can manage with a basket? Sure the shops are open again the day after, but I'll have guests and no desire to shop again. Then different guests the day after again.
Its none of your business. Stop banging on about it being just another day, because we don't want it to be, that's the point. We're having fun and stimulating the economy, what are you doing except humphing and bah humbugging?

I think it partly depends where your family live. Ours are all scattered so Christmas is a lot more than one meal and a cracker.

It's making up extra beds for visitors.
3 days of catering for more than double the usual number of people.
Constant washing up and loading/unloading of the dishwasher.
Rearranging furniture to make room for an extra table.

Plus my house is generally not very clean and tidy by the end of term so trust me it does need a good clean!

I dream of having everyone turn up just for Christmas dinner. That would feel like an absolute walk in the park in comparison.

hehee mumsnet pop up just appeared telling me 'here's how to be the perfect host this Christmas'....

First off, I love Christmas and everything that goes with it... this year I am off from 23rd Dec - 29th Dec... that never happens, so I going to enjoy it.

And by Off - we have complete break from all our "routine" jobs - paid, voluntary and "house" related.

Before then however, I am working a split shift which means although I left home at 6am this morning, I won't get back until about 10pm tomorrow.

So the DH is going to do the bulk of the final cleaning, such as deep clean the kitchen and bathroom, making sure the dusting, wiping and hoovering is all done, and that the conservatory floor is mopped. This is not much more than I would do weekly but I know if its done now (again) then apart from a quick hoover on the day after Boxing Day, I don't need to worry ALL WEEK. and I am so looking forward to a clean fresh house full of people

This also means that when I get up on the 23rd we can pick up the Bird, fresh veg and meats from the local farm shop. All other stuff is bought and ready to go and I can relax and DH can relax and the family get undivided attention.

No Stress here and Christmas Lunch - much more than just an added cracker.

rickety I'm another one who's done Christmas Day lasagne before now. Growing up we took it in turns to choose our favourite dinner for Christmas Day itself. Lasagne, a decent curry, beef in ale with dumplings, leg of lamb, even turkey burgers featured one memorable year.

I've done the last 10 years at MILs with a basic Sunday roast, no trimmings, nothing 'Christmassy' about it (they 'don't do veg' so just roast potatoes and babycorns to choose from), and loads of flapping and sweating and martyring. I've decided I'm reclaiming Christmas next year and doing it the way I like it which is naturally superior in every way.

"rabbitware Mon 21-Dec-15 13:51:58

verbena, christmas was not created as a religious festival.

Why are you cross at the commercialism? Eat drink and be merry I say."

Another pure lie to add to the lot on this forum...

The hint's in the name: Christmas - Christ's Mass, ie. the Mass celebrating the birthday of Christ.

The face that most vacuous folks in Britain have gone away from the meaning of Christmas does not change its meaning one iota.

It depends what Christmas means to you.

To me, Christmas is a time of 'feasting'. I don't just mean food, I mean feasting on company, presents, 'home', time with each other, and - obviously! - wine.

I like to think of it the way traditional feasts used to take place. Everyone worked hard to produce things that were out of the ordinary, like the 'trimmings' Christmas means to me, and then all come together to feast on the fruits of your labour. No, there is no fucking need to tie ribbons to place cards with holly attached, but I love that my sister does it because it feels special and something to admire and celebrate. There is no need to have 14 guests squeezed on sofa beds and blow up mattresses and so on, but it is amazing to wake up with all our far-flung family under the one roof again (actually welled up writing that!). Yes, it's a fucker of a load of washing, and keeping all those guests in cornflakes for four days takes some planning, but feasting on each other...what it's really all about. It's not ordinary, it's special. And all that hard work on frippery helps to make it so.

That said, we have a family full of smilers, who all pitch in and are easily pleased (very convenient when I am hosting, let me tell you)

BUT THEN I met my inlaws. And now I get all your moaning . Fuck me! The pointless stress. I would rather eat beans and sleep outside!