To chuck baby in the river (lighthearted)

[FairyFluffbum]

It's a sad state of affairs I have to put lighthearted in the title but there we go.

I have been up an hour with 9 month old baby...he has not stopped crying for an hour. I've given him his bottle, attempted to give him his porridge(it's now been thrown), I've picked him up, I've put him down, I've shushed him...he's still crying!!

Surely the only thing to do now is to chuck in the river and get a new one right??

Dd is at school. Last day of term but alas I have no free time as I'm at work. Again. Only 9 hours so YAY!!!! They did whine and try to bully ask me to swap to a 12 hour but I declined. No doubt dds faulty motion sensor will kick back in later.....

My six month old ds is also broken. He screeches at the top of his voice as soon as he is put down and beats his chest in temper.

I have proof mine is broken

He sits up and then throws himself back when he has had enough and wants to lay on his tummy. This of course causes him to bang his head and he cries. He has done it plenty of times and still hasn't learnt not to throw himself back. Luckily I have a thick rug or I would be worried about his brain. So this is proof I have a defective child. Refund needed!

Yeah, but you can only get a refund if the product is not fit for purpose. And the purpose of toddlers is to annoy...

Have you considered re-gifting? Good for the planet apparently.

Anyone want a gorgeous 5 year old who thinks adults are servants and knows everything? No?

Hmmm might swap the 5 year old for the 9 month old who doesn't want to put down or picked up or interacted with or ignored

When I was a student and the cat reproduced we had a Kitten Party - everyone got to leave with a Kitten! Just a thought....

When DS was small and we had his friends round we used to tell parents Take as many as you brought but take your pick but we always got elft with the same one.

Dd redeemed herself she can stay. I fell asleep on the sofa and she shook me awake saying " I think it's time you put me to bed mummy!" Then she promptly tried to climb the stairs backwards and fell. In fact the jury is still out....

Aaah my dh is going in the river now...the ds is being pleasant for once.....

We had touchy hands again last night. In fact I think i woke up at one point and told him to fuck off.....

Ooh ooh swap with me! a hormonal 10yo, a stroppy 5yo, a tantrummy 2yo and a nocturnal 14 month old, little bugger sweetheart was up from 1 til half 3 ready to party!!

Everyone is coming to us for Xmas I've got so much to do but I'm so knackered!!! I'm trying not to care about everything being nice for Christmas but I do!!!

I would definitely give your little one a shot of ibuprofen/calpol followed by a brandy chaser if it doesn't work definitely return to sender

There's another thread about not sending Christmas cards. How about mailing children to your friends and relatives?

16 yr old DD has been delivered to a friend today. I have a few hours to try and find her floor while she's out. I would say there's a 60% chance of a call later to say I have a whole other day, so it's all looking good here for the moment.

I am now hiding in the utility 'tidying' and sorting trying to make room for everything that's my excuse, it doesn't matter that it's the only room the school can't get into because of stair gate. The dc are playing killing each other whilst I sing loudly to Christmas songs.
Look what a morning of errands with dc (2&3) have driven me too. Maybe I should send dh to the zoo too as it's his fault I struggled in the doctors with 2 monkeys without a buggy as he managed to take it to work with him again