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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To chuck baby in the river (lighthearted)

139 replies

FairyFluffbum · 21/12/2015 07:53

It's a sad state of affairs I have to put lighthearted in the title but there we go.

I have been up an hour with 9 month old baby...he has not stopped crying for an hour. I've given him his bottle, attempted to give him his porridge(it's now been thrown), I've picked him up, I've put him down, I've shushed him...he's still crying!!

Surely the only thing to do now is to chuck in the river and get a new one right??

OP posts:
Original poster
FairyFluffbum · 21/12/2015 20:16

Smashley disturbing that my first thought there was, " I've had a beer I can't drive to the zoo..."

I love it!! GrinGrin

Alas I think a chimp would take one look at my ds and leg it. I could hope for a sympathy gaze my way but I'm not holding my breath

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Candlelight30 · 21/12/2015 20:17

I hear you!

My DD (11 months) screamed bloody murder because I accidentally caught her arm (very very gently) on the doorframe when I lifted her out of the bath. A real, bona fide temper tantrum. No pain, just rage because she was so tired/didn't want to get out of the bath/wanted her daddy/mummy is useless etc etc

She honest to god glared at me until her dad took her up to bed.

This is after a day of running around after her, playing with her...I even took her to the soft play.

Candlelight30 · 21/12/2015 20:18

Feeling rubbish tonight after it. I know that sounds stupid because she's just being tired and stroppy but she seems to like her dad so much more than me because I do all the boring stuff and her daddy is her playmate Sad sorry. I know this is a light hearted thread but I'm having a bit of a wobble

Notasinglefuckwasgiven · 21/12/2015 20:21

Aw candlelight it's allowed. To the zoo....!

LongHairDontCare · 21/12/2015 20:33

Notasinglefuckwasgiven when I put 9 month old DD down, she screams. Sobs her heart out it's wearing thin DS tries to stop her crying (drown her out?!) by singing paw patrol at the top of his voice. Repeatedly.

I don't drive, anyone willing to give me a lift to that zoo?

NeedsAMousekatool · 21/12/2015 20:38

I'll hire a minibus to take everyone who wants to go to the zoo.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 21/12/2015 20:38

So Amazons return policy is the jungle variety?

LuluJakey1 · 21/12/2015 20:38

Candlelight My 12 month old has a lovely little life with me. He has my undivided attention all day and loves it, but when DH comes through the door I am relegated to the bottom of the league. His little face lights up, he hold his arms out, squeals, toddles across going 'dadadadad'. This is followed by two hours of him being glued to DH until he is asleep. I have decided to enjoy the rest. DH is now off work for 17 days and they have spent today entertaining each other. Smile It has been quite pleasant.

Buttercup27 · 21/12/2015 20:55

Can I book a place on the mini bus. Ds2 is still awake as he dozed off at 5pm (for 15min) . He has just finished hotting me with a eeyore because u wouldn't let him rude the dog and he is now playing frizbee with a dvd and trying to climb the furniture.
I don't think the zoo keepers will notice an extra monkey !

Thisismyfirsttime · 21/12/2015 21:03

I accidentally deleted all the photos on my phone today, had a wee Google round and apparently there's an app I can get that will reinstall them without resetting. There's an app for everything, maybe have a little look for faulty baby ones?
Although my app for when my own baby malfunctions is this very MN one!

Original poster
FairyFluffbum · 22/12/2015 06:22

Why is it every time I do morning shift its fucking 5.30,5.45,6.30 wake up calls but if dh does it its 7, 7.30 even 10 once!!!! Wtf! I tried ignoring him this morning but he flipped onto his tummy and screamed. Angry

I tell dh it's because he wants to spend more time with me than with him but who the hell am I trying to kid!

To the zoo! If we arrive 15 mins before closing time, they will be so glad we all left on time they won't notice we came with babies.

OP posts:
GastonsPomPomWrath · 22/12/2015 06:48

Room for a small one on the minibus?

After last night's disastrous bedtime, I'm drawing straws for which one I'm 'accidently' dropping into the tiger enclosure.

Original poster
FairyFluffbum · 22/12/2015 07:00

There might be some room in the boot. Or you can strap them to the roof and hope for the best? That's what I'm going with ds. Nice and quiet then

OP posts:
GastonsPomPomWrath · 22/12/2015 07:28

I'll take the boot. Wouldn't want to risk the mission by putting one on the roof in case the police see it and decide to pull us over.

I'm don't want to be the one blamed for everyone having to take their kids home again, no siree. Can you imagine? "There goes that woman who fucked it up for everyone."

Original poster
FairyFluffbum · 22/12/2015 07:37

Ah good point.. Think it's safe underneath the car or would that be cruel? Probably too cruel really. Damn...boot it is for the boy too

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SmashleyHop · 22/12/2015 09:44

Fear not everyone! For DH owns a trailer... We can throw any extras in the trailer and cover it. Nightmare 13yr DS will babysit on the ride over. He'll love it.

EduCated · 22/12/2015 09:56

Sorry, I know this is meant to be a lighthearted thread, but a couple of your comments have really upset me.

I can't believe you would even joke about chucking your baby in the river when there's kids in Africa wot ain't even got a puddle. What would Geldof say? Shame on you and your wanton water wasting.

Original poster
FairyFluffbum · 22/12/2015 10:00

I am so sorry I never even though that...naughty fairy

OP posts:
EduCated · 22/12/2015 10:07

It's just the sense of entitlement that gets me Xmas Grin

ChristmasBeary · 22/12/2015 10:17

In my desperation I've brought them to softplay.

22mo refusing to play, I've basically paid £5 for him to sit on my knee for two hours.

4yo is playing, haven't heard a peep from her since we got here. Presume this means she's playing nicely.

6yo went full Lord of the Flies as soon as we got here. He's currently roaming the play frame with a pack of similar aged boys.

I'm perfecting my best "I have no idea who these children are or why they're calling me mum..." face.

Original poster
FairyFluffbum · 22/12/2015 10:57

I just had neighbour knock on the door Blush thought he was going to complain about me singing loudly to drown out the noise.

No, his car has been broken into and he wanted to know if I had heard anything

OP posts:
shinynewusername · 22/12/2015 11:22

Offer to track down and take out the car thieves while he babysits.

LuluJakey1 · 22/12/2015 11:23

ChristmasBeary I too have brought DS to baby soft play. He is 12 months and causing havoc. He is too rough for babies now and I am getting 'looks' at how excited he is. Never mind, DH is collecting him in 20 minutes and takng him up to town with him to a children's book thing whete SIL works. Then they are going out to tea with SIL. I will have 6 hours to myself. Bliss.

Original poster
FairyFluffbum · 22/12/2015 11:29

Offer to track down and take out the car thieves while he babysits

Excellent idea! Could take all day, all month or even all year

OP posts:
shinynewusername · 22/12/2015 11:36

You will probably find they have fled to Mexico or somewhere else with good beaches, like Butch Cassidy.