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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To chuck baby in the river (lighthearted)

139 replies

FairyFluffbum · 21/12/2015 07:53

It's a sad state of affairs I have to put lighthearted in the title but there we go.

I have been up an hour with 9 month old baby...he has not stopped crying for an hour. I've given him his bottle, attempted to give him his porridge(it's now been thrown), I've picked him up, I've put him down, I've shushed him...he's still crying!!

Surely the only thing to do now is to chuck in the river and get a new one right??

OP posts:

munkisocks · 21/12/2015 09:57

I would have wondered six months ago what on earth you were all going on about over such lovely squishy babies.

However after my 2 hours sleep last night (not helped by dh snoring) I have just rocked a screaming refluxy 6 month old to sleep and In the Night Garden is still playing on bloody tv! I'm too knackered to turn it off. Dog hasn't yet been fed and I'm still in pyjamas. I tried to sell her to my parents but my dh got really upset. I offered him to stay home with her and ill go back to work. He declined quickly

shinynewusername · 21/12/2015 09:59

OP, this is a horrible thread. Don't you realise how lucky you are to have a river handy? Some of us don't even have a stream.

Momtothree · 21/12/2015 09:59

Amazon are doing a recall for early models, and have suspended sale on discovering a tendency to explode with rage they say they are causing house hold damage to carpets and furniture. Owners are sticking them in cupboards to hather dust.... as the fad faded.

munkisocks · 21/12/2015 10:02

Haha Shiny

Fluffycloudland77 · 21/12/2015 10:15

A water feature might do if you have no local waterways.

Doublebubblebubble · 21/12/2015 10:16

I tried this with dd - unfortunately she has had swimming lessons since she was 17 weeks old (she's now 6) she keeps coming back!! Lol x

Good luck op truthfully this is normal when they're 9mos

Sukkii25 · 21/12/2015 10:20

You guys have me laughing so hard! I had very easy kids but I still sometimes wanted an OFF switch.
OP, I am glad you are taking all this stress with a good dose of humour (what else is there except wine)
It will all be ok at some point - my kids are 22 and 21 and I look back fondly at the stress and meltdowns.
Merry Christmas to you or Happy Holidays.

InsufficientlyCaffeinated · 21/12/2015 10:28

I might be in the market for a ready born baby. Have started to realise what goes in must come out and I don't think it's as easy to get a baby out as it was to get in? Given yours is a faulty model, will you exchange for some left over spag bol?

Purplestarssparkle · 21/12/2015 10:28

if it helps op both my dds were wailers many a time I used to plonk dd2 in the buggy dd1 under the buggy ( on the shopping tray wearing her dads ear defenders ) and me with headphones on plugged into a Walkman and then go a walk just to get some silence from the wailing

Chillyegg · 21/12/2015 10:33

Ahhhh my dd is 8 and a half months I have prospective buyers in the loop. I've also considered giving her to some nocturnal creatures as she doesn't like sleeping at night.
She's got a cold is teething trying to stand by her self and trying to be a big lady all at the same time.
I'd gladly swap her for a teenager or a cat maybe even a small mammal, anyone have a Guinea pig?

NeedsAMousekatool · 21/12/2015 10:40

The Standby mode on my 17 month old model is defective. It defaulted to On every 45 minutes last night. It also seems to struggle to hold its charge and needs plugging in to the boob with an almost newborn frequency. I would send it back but it's damaged (common cold and lost a fight with a garden plant) plus she trashed the original packaging when she was being unwrapped :)

Alas there are no rivers nearby but Mickey Mouse seems to help.

Original poster

FairyFluffbum · 21/12/2015 11:17

cheered me up lovely.

He fell asleep in his buggy for the first time in forever.....then dd had a temper and woke him up

Im trying to get him down now but something tells me it won't happen which means his total nap time will be........10 mins! Yey

OP posts:

GastonsPomPomWrath · 21/12/2015 11:30

No help to the op but insufficiently if you're in the market I have an 8 yr old boy who knows every fucking thing about every fucking thing and will regularly remind you of this, a 7 yr girl going on 17, a 5 yr old girl with a beautiful screaming voice, a spirited 3 yr old girl and a 9 week old pooing, vomiting, crying machine....

Take your pick. I'll pm you my address for the leftover spag bol. Yum.

Beth2511 · 21/12/2015 14:10

My dd has been a conplete and utter misery all bloody day. Arggggggghhhhhhhhhbhhhbhhbhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Beth2511 · 21/12/2015 14:11

And i repeat arghhhhhbhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhhbbbbhbhhhhhhhhh

Buttercup27 · 21/12/2015 14:12

If you can return, how about an exchange. I will swap him for a 2 yr old biter, whose favourite word is mine.

LuluJakey1 · 21/12/2015 14:29

I have a 12 month old male model and a much older vintage male version of 36 years.

The vintage model bought the 12 month model a glittery pink flashing light star wand on Saturday that plays 'Frosty the Snowman' repeatedly. 12 month old is entranced by it and bashes everyone with it. 36year old vintage sings alng to it. They have had hours of fun. I am on the edge and ready to decomission both models if only I could find the switch.

Tempted to attach wand to mains.

jamhot · 21/12/2015 14:31

OP, I feel like you are the same person as me but you're about 12 hours behind.

The good news is that the mardy bugger cheers up and finally eats a bit of food. My model is currently doing snotty snores next to me.

If this doesn't happen for you, may I ask where you purchased yours from? I have heard that the John Lewis customer service department is great, even when you have no proof of purchase.

Finola1step · 21/12/2015 14:38

Sit said faulty one between yourself and the other parent. That should be enough to remind said other parent what happens as a result of night time fumblings.

But on a serious note, he needs to keep his hands to himself when you're sleeping. He really does.

Original poster

FairyFluffbum · 21/12/2015 14:39

Mines a poundlans model which is why I think it's not working right...can't have milk etc.

My dh is working must be working overtime as he is not home yet. he knew Ds was feeling poorly and therefore likely to play up. Knob

OP posts:

DixieNormas · 21/12/2015 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

knobblyknee · 21/12/2015 14:46

Didnt you keep the receipt?

pigsDOfly · 21/12/2015 14:59

When my eldest, who never slept, was a baby, during a visit to my GP I remember commenting on his sleeplessness: 'short of hitting him the head with a brick, I'm running out of ideas'.

If the look she gave me was anything to go by she was not amused.

All sympathy OP.

It does get better, but okay maybe not immediately, my DS is 35 years old now and lives in another country.

petalsandstars · 21/12/2015 15:02

Ooh I'd exchange the mark 4 model with a defective volume button and constant chatter mode stuck on. Also appears this model has special interactive features with my mark 2 model. 10 minutes of good lego playing then one or other default into screech mode or start leaking fluids.

GothicRainbow · 21/12/2015 15:23

Just pop him out on the curb - surprising what people will take!

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