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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to tell my brother his husband stole our chocolates

113 replies

Sunflower1985 · 19/12/2015 22:18

Petty - extremely petty, but it's bugging the heck out of me.
We had my brother and his husband over for Christmas meal today. They drove a fair way to us, so we didn't mind supplying the food. They brought presents and a cheese board.
A pleasant enough day, but the ending soured it. We didn't get round to the cheese, having had very decent portions of the beef roast dinner, homemade bread and baked Camembert, chocolates and tiramisu we provided.
On the way out they took all the cheese they bought from the fridge. I made my peace.
Then my BIL went into our garage and took a handful of the the chocolates we had bought back from our holiday. They weren't out. They were tucked away in the garage ffs. He can't have been hungry - we fed them all day. If he was he could have had the cheese they took with them.
WIBU to tell my brother this is twattish behaviour and to get his husband to apologise?

OP posts:
VoldysGoneMouldy · 19/12/2015 22:24

A bit odd maybe, but not twattish. You must have told him they were there? Or he's familiar enough with you, and so the house, to know?

WorraLiberty · 19/12/2015 22:25

How do you know he took them?

If you saw him do it, why didn't you ask what he thought he was doing?

InTheBox · 19/12/2015 22:35

Did you just watch him casually walk to garage and get chocolates and go? Sounds very odd.

Original poster
Sunflower1985 · 19/12/2015 22:36

The garage door was open so he must of started routing around. He has form for poking around in other people's cupboards (my dm banned him from the house for this).

My dh saw with the chocolates in his pocket but was too bumfuzzled to say anything.

OP posts:
YakTriangle · 19/12/2015 22:38

Tell him the chocolates were bought as a gift for someone and you can't believe he would be so rude as to help himself.

thenightsky · 19/12/2015 22:38

totally twatsh.

multivac · 19/12/2015 22:41

Tiramasu? YABU. #notthenineties

TrinityForce · 19/12/2015 22:44

Love a bit of tiramisu.

Rude to root around and help yourself to other peoples stuff though, text your brother and tell him to bring around a new box next time to replace the ones his DH took with him.

Puffpastry1 · 19/12/2015 22:45

What an absolutely wankerish thing to do. However you do sound a bit sour in the first place, I didn't like the "they drove a fair way so we didn't mind supplying the food" what's that about?

If people come to my home Im delighted to feed them.

nortonhouse · 19/12/2015 22:47

Also - tacky, I think, to retrieve the cheese they'd brought and take it back home with them!

Mmmmcake123 · 19/12/2015 22:50

What a d**k!!
I hate that sort of shit goading behaviour.
If he knows dh saw then I wouldn't let it pass, as he will clearly think he is very clever and be feeling very smug.
If not I probably wouldn't bother saying anything, as that will suggest you were not that bothered about the chocs in the first place so his little game didn't pan out.

LimitedSedition · 19/12/2015 22:52

I don't understand all this taking stuff back that you've bought to people's houses.

Surely it's a gift (wine/cheese/chocs) and once handed over to the host, should be used at the discretion of said host, or given back by the host, not rooted out from the family fridge by the giver to go back home with them.

No manners.

Mmmmcake123 · 19/12/2015 22:56

Def tacky to retrieve the cheese. I brought a lovely cheeseboard once to a meal. It was a foodie gesture as I wasn't sure what to bring. It wasn't served as the host already had a big spread planned. She offered it back to me at the end of the night apologising for it not making its way to the table. I checked with her that she could make use of it in case it wasn't to her taste, and then obviously said keep it for your next guests.

VagueIdeas · 19/12/2015 22:57

It's bad enough that they took the bloody cheese back, but to actually pilfer things from your garage... WTF?

MitzyLeFrouf · 19/12/2015 22:59

Taking the cheese back with them is awful behaviour. So miserly.

Bit strange that he was rooting about in the garage. I'd have said something at the time.

Rainbunny · 19/12/2015 22:59

Well even if was only chocolate that is a very annoying (felonious?) habit he has - rooting around other people's houses and claiming items for himself.

It's also very poor behaviour IMHO to reclaim food you have brought to your host's unless they specifically offer your unconsumed food back to you.

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 19/12/2015 23:00

We're these a known brand
Or could you get away with phoning to say they seem to have inadvertently taken a large quantity of chocolate laced with immodium type drugs purchased during a painful holiday episode and please not to eat them
Or if they have please take laxatives..or eat prunes

MitzyLeFrouf · 19/12/2015 23:01

Ask your brother if his husband has a tape worm.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 19/12/2015 23:01

How do you know it was him? Did you see him do it? Did he tell you he took them?

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast · 19/12/2015 23:02

Or that you are pissing yourself laughing as next doors cat had peed on them and you hope they were lovely...

Dipankrispaneven · 19/12/2015 23:02

Not sure about telling your brother to tell BiL to apologise, that's up to them, but I think it is worth having a word with your brother - because if that's your BiL's normal behaviour other people will be a lot less forbearing than you.

WorraLiberty · 19/12/2015 23:04

I honestly can't believe your DH saw someone stealing from your home, and didn't say anything Confused

Yes I think you should tell your brother about it or at least your husband should.

Mmmmcake123 · 19/12/2015 23:09

A member of my family that I had been fairly close with but we had drifted apart came to my DDs 18th and brought a bottle of champagne in a bag. We thanked her and I put it with all the other gifts. She left before the end and when we gathered up gifts it was gone. I instantly knew it was her but everyone else said there were a lot of people there so you never know. It turned out that it was her. She had expected it to be the main toast and was upset that I wasn't more attentive to on the night. Needless to say I don't bother with her anymore.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 19/12/2015 23:09

Ah so your husband saw he had them. No idea why he didn't say anything in that case.

Perhaps your brother said he could have them?

CherryPits · 19/12/2015 23:10

Tiramisu is shit. Sorry, had to be said.

YANBU about your BIL though. That was cheeky.

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