To want to tell my brother his husband stole our chocolates

[Sunflower1985]

Petty - extremely petty, but it's bugging the heck out of me.
We had my brother and his husband over for Christmas meal today. They drove a fair way to us, so we didn't mind supplying the food. They brought presents and a cheese board.
A pleasant enough day, but the ending soured it. We didn't get round to the cheese, having had very decent portions of the beef roast dinner, homemade bread and baked Camembert, chocolates and tiramisu we provided.
On the way out they took all the cheese they bought from the fridge. I made my peace.
Then my BIL went into our garage and took a handful of the the chocolates we had bought back from our holiday. They weren't out. They were tucked away in the garage ffs. He can't have been hungry - we fed them all day. If he was he could have had the cheese they took with them.
WIBU to tell my brother this is twattish behaviour and to get his husband to apologise?

Who cares if someone takes a few chocolates? I really don't get the angst and I love chocolate as much as the next person. But if we have family over, I give them little bags of treats, biscuits, crisps, etc, to take away with them. (It saves me eating it all)

I also don't understand why you'd 'tell on him' to his DH. Will you do a corresponding 'telling on' to BIL to say your DB took the cheese back?

It sounds like you didn't enjoy hosting them so next time go to a restaurant and watch as your DB gets a doggy bag of the food he doesn't eat and your DBIL snaffles the complete bowl of mints/chocolates/tablet/whatever the restaurant supplies when they bring the bill/coffee.

I completely agree with the tiramisu haters. Black forest gateau all the way

its the going into the garage on purpose, poking around and filling his pockets that's weird APlace

If the chocs were on display/out and he took a couple "for the journey" then fine.
Its the sneaking into other peoples garage -wtf! that's odd.
I would wonder whether someone like this would go into my room, open drawers and look at private stuff.

I have an IL from another country, one where there was no ratioinkng during the war. The cultural expectation seems to be that liberal
Grazing and helping yourself from
A hosts fridge, bread bin, biscuit tin, and possibly garage, are all perfectly acceptable.

The other case is a child who comes to our home who was adopted from care having known neglect and prolonged starvation. That child will always tuck a handful of anything available or extras into a pocket 'for later' or to take home to the sibling.

People are casual kleptomaniacs, too. Or just greedy. They sound greedy.

In my house if guests brought a lavish cheese board and we didn't get round to it I would probably say 'do you want to take a chunk of that lovely Stilton back with you so that you have something for supper when you get in?'. But just re- possessing the whole lot and taking it is really bad behaviour!

"In my house if guests brought a lavish cheese board and we didn't get round to it I would probably say 'do you want to take a chunk of that lovely Stilton back with you so that you have something for supper when you get in?'. But just re- possessing the whole lot and taking it is really bad behaviour!"

^ 100%

(Googles for Tiramisu recipes...)

Cotto I'm struggling with the concept of an adult 'sneaking' especially since OP's DH saw him . Different families have different boundaries. If any of my DSISs were visiting, they'd go into the kitchen and have a look in my fridge or open cupboards. Likewise, when I was at my DSIS and she was on the phone, I wandered round her house, made myself a cup of tea and looked in her cupboards/fridge for something to eat.

If I didn't like DBIL doing it, it would be because I didn't like him and was looking for stuff to reinforce that. It wouldn't really be because I was down a handful of chocolates.

OP, did you ask them to bring the cheese? If you did, then served baked Camembert and bread, I'm not surprised they wanted to take it back. You basically asked them to provide a cheese course, then served your own.

If, on the other hand, you weren't expecting the cheese board, I would have offered them some to take home anyway, just because it's rude not to have eaten any of it at all when they brought it as a gift.

APlace why would you just go out into someone elses garage when visiting
No I wouldn't go looking into someone else kitchen cupboards - unless at my DM house where I help with the cooking.

Thank you for the perspective. Would consider banning BIL if it didn't mean upsetting db. For info BIL did have a habit of taking things, but that's a rather outing story and not mine to tell.
Ps I love tiramisu and I don't care know knows it.

If it was an obviously unopened box of nice chocolates then I agree that is pretty odd but I'm not sure I could be bothered to turn it into an argument. If it was an open tin of something like celebrations or quality street then I wouldn't care.

Taking the cheese was however really rude!

I had a similar situation with my SIL years ago. She had a habit of rummaging through people's drawers, moving things around or commenting on things she'd found. Everyone else seemed to think it was ok - 'oh she's just having a laugh' but i'm quite private and it horrified me.

I told DH bluntly that if she ever did that in my house she'd never be welcome back, and to tell her that very clearly. You need to speak to your DB and tell him the same, if DBIL does it again he can fuck 'orf. It's not just a handful of chocolates is it, he's stolen from your Mum (assuming it was your Mum?) in the past and is now happily rummaging through your house.

Cotto my understanding from OP's posts is that the garage is attached to the house and the door was open so it's the equivalent of looking in a cupboard or wandering into the sitting room whilst someone is in the kitchen. Some families have that type of relationship (eg mine; DH's; my friends!).

Well the OP obviously doesn't or she /he wouldn't have started an AIBU !

Quite, but her BIL might.