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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have formed these early impressions of MN?

147 replies

EachVentureIsANewBeginning · 19/12/2015 12:44

I've been on MN about a week now and am enjoying it enormously. These are my early, fairly random impressions, based on a fair bit of reading (and a small amount of posting) in Mumsnet Talk, largely but not exclusively in AIBU, Relationships, and Mumsnet Classics. I suppose it may be relevant to say that I'm male and quite old.

I've found that:

Lots of threads are extraordinarily funny. Things I read don't generally make me laugh out loud but I have done several times here, for example when reading 'Pointless and soul destroying ongoing fights with inanimate objects'.

Lots of threads are extraordinarily sad, and yes, I've had tears in my eyes reading some of them.

Overall, the quality of writing is of a very high standard. (I was an English teacher a long time ago and I like being impressed by really good writing. I've found that here more than in any other online forum I can think of.)

The kind of support that people give others is tremendous - really heartwarming and moving. There's a wonderful feeling of community - the sort of caring that restores your faith in human nature, particularly when feeling ashamed at the dreadful things some men do to women.

There does seem to be (in some quarters) a bias towards advocating 'leave the bastard' at a stage which seems to me possibly premature. (But there generally seem to be people offering the opposite view too.)

I do feel slightly uneasy about the way I've got caught up in some threads as if they were TV soaps (e.g. refreshing the screen to see if the OP has had THAT conversation with DH yet and what the result was). I have to remind myself that these are people's real lives.

I've learned a number of rather basic but fascinating facts about things bodies do/people do with their bodies. Just one example: that people wipe their bottoms standing up as well as sitting down. (And the shock people obviously experienced at finding people did it the other way from them was funny!)

There's a lot of 'bad language' which I generally enjoy. However, as a man who's long resisted the use by other men of 'cunt' as a term of abuse (because I think the word should be used just for the beautiful part of the anatomy to which it properly refers) I was a bit surprised at the number of women here who use it precisely as a term of abuse. Which is entirely a matter for them, of course, and I'm not saying I think they shouldn't - just that I was surprised.

I think that's quite enough for now. Hope it's of some interest.

OP posts:
FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/12/2015 16:48

It's alright, Zombie. You have all my love and adoration Xmas Grin

goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 16:50

A man's perspective is welcome. A man telling us we're doing it wrong and that he doesn't approve can fuck off.

user7755 · 19/12/2015 16:54

Did the OP say that goodnight?

Or are people taking umbrage at the observations?

Sunnybitch · 19/12/2015 16:57

I agree- Same

Sameshitdiffname · 19/12/2015 17:00

I don't recall being told we're doing it all wrong?

Kacie123 · 19/12/2015 17:09

Am I too late to join in with a Grin at badlad?

Kacie123 · 19/12/2015 17:10

Oh Zombie. It took me a while to appreciate your greatness too. Give the newbie a chance Smile

CuttedUpPear · 19/12/2015 17:10
  1. Several posters haven't read the OP properly.
  2. Zombie is an honoured poster, she refers to herself in the third person and there are some fantastic support threads on here for her as she deals with a difficult illness.
  3. I don't like using the c word either but am impressed by its having been reclaimed by posters here and defend their right to use it as they see fit.
  4. I'm with you on the grammar.
  5. Announcing your sex was possibly leaning on an open door.
Anniegetyourgun · 19/12/2015 17:22

Five pages and nobody's posted The Picture yet? (Though somebody did refer to it earlier.)

I can't, I don't know where it hides... please, somebody, do the honours Smile

hiddenhome2 · 19/12/2015 17:29

What, this picture?

To have formed these early impressions of MN?
TiggyD · 19/12/2015 17:32

Eeek! A man!

Funny threads? Yup.
Sad threads? Yup.
Much goodly of english? Yup. No reference to "for women", but on AIBU people like to find fault even if they have to make it up.
Support? Yup.
Much use of "LTB"? Yup. In most cases they should. There are lots of nice men out there so why stick with one you need to change which could take years if he ever does?
Soap operas? Can seem like that can't it? Don't get too invested in stuff.
Learn about other people/things? Yup.
Bad language? Try having a conversation about Piers Morgan/The Daily Heil/Katie Hopkins without swearing.

Welcome to Mumsnet. I suggest you lay low for a bit until you're up to speed. And there's always the Dadsnet section for some man to man action.

TiggyD · 19/12/2015 17:32

Man to man action meant men talking together about man stuff. Nothing weird.

JeanSeberg · 19/12/2015 17:36

This one?

To have formed these early impressions of MN?
EmpressOfTheVulvaCupcakes · 19/12/2015 17:43

That would be it.

I luffs you too, Zombie.

LittleLionMansMummy · 19/12/2015 17:44

Welcome op.

AIBU is particularly brutal. You are either very brave, very stupid, or a man Wink

ghostspirit · 19/12/2015 17:47

well you wont see any good spellings or grammar from me

hiddenhome2 · 19/12/2015 17:52
Grin
To have formed these early impressions of MN?
quietbatperson · 19/12/2015 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrussianPrue · 19/12/2015 20:14

YANBU Op.

You can post whatever you like. I totally understand that someone might want to voice their appreciation when finding something surprisingly enjoyable - particularly as people have preconceived ideas about Mumsnet is like.

Belated Grin to BadLad too.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 19/12/2015 20:36

First week on MN? Yeah right

cleaty · 19/12/2015 20:57

I really can't imagine a woman posting a post like this. FFS

AbbyCadabra · 19/12/2015 21:02

Perhaps the op (a former teacher, apparently) misses writing reports.

cleaty · 19/12/2015 21:04

And LTB is nearly always justified. Women are encouraged to put up with too much shit/

goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 21:06

Or grading? "MN, I award you 7/10. Good writing. Poor use of curse words. But you make me want to know more like I'm watching a soap opera! Try harder, but good effort."

Kr1stina · 19/12/2015 21:32

I'm trying to imagine going on to a forum for black people and starting a thread after a week to share my opinions of their site, from the perspective of a white woman.

  • Commending their use of English < so black people are educated these days, who knew ? >

Admiring their support for each other < gosh, they have empathy, just like white people>

Being shocked at their using the word n**er and ticking them off

Gently reproving them when their advice on black issues wasn't quite correct

Sharing my approval of their sense of humour

And generally assuming that they would welcome my white perspective ( because such a thing is so hard to find on the Internet )