To have formed these early impressions of MN?

[EachVentureIsANewBeginning]

I've been on MN about a week now and am enjoying it enormously. These are my early, fairly random impressions, based on a fair bit of reading (and a small amount of posting) in Mumsnet Talk, largely but not exclusively in AIBU, Relationships, and Mumsnet Classics. I suppose it may be relevant to say that I'm male and quite old.

I've found that:

Lots of threads are extraordinarily funny. Things I read don't generally make me laugh out loud but I have done several times here, for example when reading 'Pointless and soul destroying ongoing fights with inanimate objects'.

Lots of threads are extraordinarily sad, and yes, I've had tears in my eyes reading some of them.

Overall, the quality of writing is of a very high standard. (I was an English teacher a long time ago and I like being impressed by really good writing. I've found that here more than in any other online forum I can think of.)

The kind of support that people give others is tremendous - really heartwarming and moving. There's a wonderful feeling of community - the sort of caring that restores your faith in human nature, particularly when feeling ashamed at the dreadful things some men do to women.

There does seem to be (in some quarters) a bias towards advocating 'leave the bastard' at a stage which seems to me possibly premature. (But there generally seem to be people offering the opposite view too.)

I do feel slightly uneasy about the way I've got caught up in some threads as if they were TV soaps (e.g. refreshing the screen to see if the OP has had THAT conversation with DH yet and what the result was). I have to remind myself that these are people's real lives.

I've learned a number of rather basic but fascinating facts about things bodies do/people do with their bodies. Just one example: that people wipe their bottoms standing up as well as sitting down. (And the shock people obviously experienced at finding people did it the other way from them was funny!)

There's a lot of 'bad language' which I generally enjoy. However, as a man who's long resisted the use by other men of 'cunt' as a term of abuse (because I think the word should be used just for the beautiful part of the anatomy to which it properly refers) I was a bit surprised at the number of women here who use it precisely as a term of abuse. Which is entirely a matter for them, of course, and I'm not saying I think they shouldn't - just that I was surprised.

I think that's quite enough for now. Hope it's of some interest.

But it is a real thing. This 'man here' announcement every now and again. I'm not annoyed by it, but some are. But it is a real thing.

Everyone has had their own 'early impressions of MN', but why is it usually men who take the trouble to announce them? Honest question.

Ooh TasselTits. Now you've given me a little frisson of excitement. Where do you suggest I go?

Stop boring me longingforfun, this thread isn't about us.

I bet some of you would not have commented in the same way had the OP not made the fatal mistake of telling us he was a man!! Anyway, I liked your post, I'm still a newbie (well 5 months in) and enjoy MN.

I am actually - and have quite vocally in the past - been an advocate for giving male posters a fair hearing, particularly in Relationships. But when a man posts a bunch of patronising bullshit, I WILL call him out on it. Just because some people choose to ignore the subtle sexism doesn't mean we all will.

I agree Eponas, why the need to announce 'as a man'? And the 'beautiful part of the anatomy' bit was a bit eww.

Is it too late to make our announcements now usual?

OP have you graced Netmums with your presence? I think they'd luv u hun x

I am wondering now why I mentioned that I was male. I'm obviously aware that most people on MN are female, therefore there's probably an (unconscious?) assumption that any particular contributor is female unless there's evidence to the contrary, and I didn't want to run any risk of misleading people as to my real status. Which sounds silly when I actually write it down.

Actually, all the stuff about how much I'm enjoying MN and why was kind of secondary in my mind to two particular issues that had struck me and which I did mention in my first post: the use of 'cunt' in Relationships and the danger (for me, anyway) of threads there becoming like a soap opera. So maybe I could have raised either/both in Relationships, but both seemed a bit too general to fit there.

I'm still intrigued by the idea that I write like a woman pretending to be a man ...

Aye pet, go get yourself into relationships and tell them they're doing it wrong. They simply must stop swearing and getting invested in the problems of others. Proper English and emotional detachment is all those women need, we should stop saying leave the bastard, after all, all advice MUST be followed and we shouldn't put any ideas into anyone's head.

Hide the Relationships topic.

There are loads of men on MN. Unless it is in their username (and there are a fair few that have) you wouldn't normally know unless they announce it.

FWIW your OP read to me as a man posting as a man even before you said.

It's like you typed your whole opening post with your penis.

Worra - you crack me up, you really have brightened up a dull afternoon with that comment.

Oh heavens - let the poor bigger be.

Venture, I suggest you change your username and just join in with a few conversations you want to contribute to.

Relationships is an area for support. It would be poor form to start a thread there berating the incredible women who support complete strangers. If you have a different point of view about a certain thread, post your advice there.

It is vital that in a society where women are expected to "make it work", there is a space where they are told that no one is trapped, and leaving is always an option.

If people view Relationships threads as soap operas it's their issue alone.
People posting there are going through real life problems (even if you assume some are made up, sometimes people do go through them). Sometimes those problems are really difficult.
Anyone who feels excited and eager for an update should check their motives and keep well away.

The quality of writing on MN IS high. I'm a novelist and many a time someone has described something so viscerally it's as if I'm reading fiction. One MNer talked of lobsters tapping the top of the lids of pans in a restaurant she was working in, while they were being cooked...

This post sounds massively familiar.

I think I'd agree there usual

I shall no doubt regret this ...

FuckyouChris - please - the last thing I would conceivably want to do would be to suggest there's anything wrong with the support that's offered in Relationships. As I said, I think it's wonderful. (Which doesn't necessarily mean I always agree with all of the advice, but who does?) I just worried that I was getting caught up in really wanting to know what happened in some of them in the way I might with characters in a soap or a novel. So it was a concern about me, not the thread.

And the thing about 'cunt' - my view, for whatever it's worth, is that people can call other people whatever they like. I was just a bit surprised that women were using the word as a term of abuse because in RL I haven't really experienced that. I guess I've just led a sheltered life.

Anyway, all a useful learning experience for me. I shall now try not to be "a condescending twat".

The report every conversation, yes.
It still stands that it's the reader's issue to view them as soap operas.

I was thinking not so much about the fact the op was a man more that it was very much written in a "teacher voice" kind of a way.