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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have formed these early impressions of MN?

147 replies

EachVentureIsANewBeginning · 19/12/2015 12:44

I've been on MN about a week now and am enjoying it enormously. These are my early, fairly random impressions, based on a fair bit of reading (and a small amount of posting) in Mumsnet Talk, largely but not exclusively in AIBU, Relationships, and Mumsnet Classics. I suppose it may be relevant to say that I'm male and quite old.

I've found that:

Lots of threads are extraordinarily funny. Things I read don't generally make me laugh out loud but I have done several times here, for example when reading 'Pointless and soul destroying ongoing fights with inanimate objects'.

Lots of threads are extraordinarily sad, and yes, I've had tears in my eyes reading some of them.

Overall, the quality of writing is of a very high standard. (I was an English teacher a long time ago and I like being impressed by really good writing. I've found that here more than in any other online forum I can think of.)

The kind of support that people give others is tremendous - really heartwarming and moving. There's a wonderful feeling of community - the sort of caring that restores your faith in human nature, particularly when feeling ashamed at the dreadful things some men do to women.

There does seem to be (in some quarters) a bias towards advocating 'leave the bastard' at a stage which seems to me possibly premature. (But there generally seem to be people offering the opposite view too.)

I do feel slightly uneasy about the way I've got caught up in some threads as if they were TV soaps (e.g. refreshing the screen to see if the OP has had THAT conversation with DH yet and what the result was). I have to remind myself that these are people's real lives.

I've learned a number of rather basic but fascinating facts about things bodies do/people do with their bodies. Just one example: that people wipe their bottoms standing up as well as sitting down. (And the shock people obviously experienced at finding people did it the other way from them was funny!)

There's a lot of 'bad language' which I generally enjoy. However, as a man who's long resisted the use by other men of 'cunt' as a term of abuse (because I think the word should be used just for the beautiful part of the anatomy to which it properly refers) I was a bit surprised at the number of women here who use it precisely as a term of abuse. Which is entirely a matter for them, of course, and I'm not saying I think they shouldn't - just that I was surprised.

I think that's quite enough for now. Hope it's of some interest.

OP posts:
IamtheZombie · 19/12/2015 15:55

No one has asked the vital question so Zombie will do it herself.

Do you like Zombies, EachVenture?

BumpTheElephant · 19/12/2015 16:00

Welcome op! Whilst your post isn't generally the "done thing" here (announcing yourself on mn basically), I do think it sums up mumsnet quite well!
I hope you don't get put off by some of the responses here and stick around as you seem like a lovely person.

EachVentureIsANewBeginning · 19/12/2015 16:02

Hello, Zombie.

I'm aware that there are things called 'zombie threads' on MN, and that beyond that 'zombie' generally means a corpse revived by witchcraft, or a cocktail.

I'm not sure which you have in mind. I suspect I quite like reading some zombie threads but I don't care greatly for the corpse or the cocktail.

OP posts:
TheCarpenter · 19/12/2015 16:02

I was thinking not so much about the fact the op was a man more that it was very much written in a "teacher voice" kind of a way.

Yeah, but let him work it out for himself. Loads of men on MN. Some are patronising cunts, some not. He'll find his place.

BadLad · 19/12/2015 16:05

It's like you typed your whole opening post with your penis.

Sounds like fun.

cbnx,vnmxnvmzcn bcm cbcn

Damn. All from the bottom line. The embarrassment!

Muskey · 19/12/2015 16:07

I liked the post. Welcome op

quietbatperson · 19/12/2015 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EachVentureIsANewBeginning · 19/12/2015 16:11

BadLad - Damn. All from the bottom line. The embarrassment!

Yes but if you have a separate numeric keypad and can move from key to key quickly enough, I find that you can use the Alt key and the numbers to get additional characters.

OP posts:
goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 16:16

As suspected, your main issue is the use of cunt. You don't get to police what women write, especially here. The fact that you would want to is disturbing to me.

As for your feeling like you're reading a soap opera, that says everything about you and nothing about the posters. I too often check back eagerly for updates, as I hope that things are going well for the OP or that (what I perceive to be) the "correct" decision has been made. At no point do I forget these are real people. But I'd wager that women's lives often seem like a soap opera to men who have little to no experience of the crap we put up with on a daily basis. HTH.

user7755 · 19/12/2015 16:20

BadLad - that's very funny!

New Venture, welcome to mumsnet. You will have realised by now that being a bloke you are not allowed to express a view on anything on here according to some women! Wink

user7755 · 19/12/2015 16:22

Oops, EachVenture!

Sameshitdiffname · 19/12/2015 16:24

The main thing to know is AIBU brings out the worst in people...

goodnightdarthvader1 · 19/12/2015 16:26

Does that include the slightly misogynistic OP, shit?

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/12/2015 16:26

Sadly, that sort of thread pops up relatively regularly. Glad to hear you won't be doing that.

Wanting to read an update because you have empathy for someone, is fine. Wanting to read an update as the next instalment in a story of suffering, is rather mawkish and unpleasant.

There are plenty of lighthearted threads that have updates and suspense. Some even have horses in them.

Sameshitdiffname · 19/12/2015 16:27

Everything on AIBU darth

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 19/12/2015 16:27

Don't worry OP, it's only a forum.

I for one enjoyed your OP and was thrilled to bits when when you mentioned how well we write. I've long thought that there's no group more articulate than slightly disgruntled women who reside somewhere on the feminist spectrum. Xmas Smile

Welcome and have your first Brew

Lweji · 19/12/2015 16:28

Actual horses or their produce?

CanadianJohn · 19/12/2015 16:30

I mostly agree with OP.

I like to read, rarely post. My original username didn't indicate that I'm male; I changed it because many MNers seem to view men as intruders.

Feel free to ignore me.

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 19/12/2015 16:31

Lweji Xmas Grin

Lashings of both.

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 19/12/2015 16:34

CanadianJohn be proud! Men do get a bit of a rough ride here but there'll always be someone who will stick up for you.

Sameshitdiffname · 19/12/2015 16:35

I think it's good to have a mans perspective of I'm being honest

TheCarpenter · 19/12/2015 16:43

I think it's good to have a mans perspective

It can be yes, luckily msm and pretty much every other forum satisfies my curiosity on that.

IamtheZombie · 19/12/2015 16:46

"I don't care greatly for the corpse"

Oh dear. Sad Sad Sad

BatsUpMyNightie · 19/12/2015 16:46

It's like you typed your whole opening post with your penisn Grin Grin

Coughed up bits of kidney laughing at that!

Look OP - I know you're probably ok but your writing style is, to me, two things -

  1. Strangely familiar
  2. Strangely wrong and try-hard

and that's why I said you sound like a woman pretending to be a man. It just doesn't ring true for me. That's not to say it isn't true - it might very well be - but to me there's something not quite right. The vast majority of people here do not announce themselves. They just post as and when and when/if it becomes necessary they make clear whether they are a man or a woman - at which point it usually makes no difference. You've announced it from the off and I don't know why - so it's either because you're not a man or because you think you're going to make some of us faint and ask to shake you by the appendage. That's all.

BatsUpMyNightie · 19/12/2015 16:47

Bold fail. Stupid cunt. Grin