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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To msg a school Mum I don't know

415 replies

Hackedabove · 18/12/2015 06:27

Regarding her posting a video of the school carol service on FB?

She has tagged in one of my friends so it's come up on my news feed. I'm shocked as it shows loads of them. Probably can't see mine but only because they were hidden.

I was thinking a gentle do you know it's totally unacceptable?

Or email the class rep so a blanket email goes out to all classes via the class reps?

Or contact the school and let them deal with it?

OP posts:
TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 18:15

It's a shame though to stop someone sharing pictures if there ISNT a vulnerable child isn't it

teacherwith2kids · 18/12/2015 18:16

But you can't say 'oh no, x,y and z in your photo are fine, but a isn't. It's too identifying, in the same way as new students are identifying.

CalleighDoodle · 18/12/2015 18:16

No it isnt a shame. If it is not your child it is not your right.

GloriaSmellens · 18/12/2015 18:16

By the way if someone said to me "don't share this photo because it features s vulnerable child" I would be fine with it, saying "you can't share any photos just in case it features s vulnerable child" I would not

Well when you go on your imaginary teaching placements, I'm sure the head teachers will be thrilled to hear your 'opinions' on their photography policies.

Goingtobeawesome · 18/12/2015 18:16

Tali - if your child becomes one of a minority will you still say it doesn't matter, shouldn't be stopped, is over the top?

Crabbitface · 18/12/2015 18:16

Because it's minor for most people and you live in a world of social media. i shouldn't have to not post photos because someone else happened to be in it.

This is not answering the question as to why your rights to share are more important than a child's right to privacy.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 18:20

Going well I wouldn't want to stop others taking pictures and sharing them just because of me.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 18:21

crabbit because it's not my issue. That sounds heartless and if someone said the reason why they wanted it to be removed was a risk then that's fine but I refuse to assume everyone is at risk

Lizzylou · 18/12/2015 18:21

It could be for safeguarding reasons, it could be that people don't want their children on social media. Which is their decision.
Saying "don't let them take part in the nativity" is a pretty horrid response in any event. Just don't share photos of other people's children online without their permission.
Really, Tali, read up on the roles and responsibilities of a Teacher. My eyes have been opened these past 18 months by what some pupils have to deal with. They deserve Teachers who respect them and their right to privacy.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 18:22

Lizzy as I said I abide by it, I do think it's melodramatic

Goingtobeawesome · 18/12/2015 18:23

How very big of you Hmm. Still spectacularly missing the point..

TakeMeUpTheNorthMountain · 18/12/2015 18:23

" then those individuals need to be dealt with instead of making it everyone else's problem"

Oh ya, lets tell the big bad man who broke my nephews fingers to STOP THAT!

That will put an end to it Im sure....

FFS - do you think the cops can do anything about a lot of the crap people put up with? Not until its too late.

Protecting people - adults and kids - is what is important.

TA my hole - If you were, you would surely be sympathetic to this.

Lizzylou · 18/12/2015 18:26

Very sadly Tali, it is anything but melodramatic.
Prevention is better than cure, sharing photos/videos is a very recent phenomenon, we'll all live ok without doing it. And no one is compromised.

Timri · 18/12/2015 18:28

I don't understand the need to share the pictures.
I can understand saying its a shame you can't take pictures, because it's nice to have pictures of things to look back on, but why do you have to share them.
Even if you only use Fb for pics, and don't do traditional albums, you can put them on FB in an album that only you can see. No need to share with all and sundry.

Furiosa · 18/12/2015 18:31

I wouldn't want an image/video of my kids on social media.

It's the internet, they do something daft, pull a silly face and people will share and take the piss.

Everyone is vulnerable on the internet.

ontheedgeofnewdawn · 18/12/2015 18:43

As someone who went with a friend to school on Wednesday because Dad has found out which town they are in and put the school on information lockdown on the child the op is not being precious in the slightest.

You as a parent will probably have no idea who the vulnerable child in class is and it may suprise you.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 18/12/2015 19:13

It is the school's responsibility to have appropriate rules re social media and to communicate them to parents. As there was no rule that they shouldn't, this parent hasn't done anything wrong. It is allowed in some schools, usually after parents have returned permission, which doesn't appear to have happened here but, that still means that the uploader hasn't broken a rule as the school hadn't made one.

MrsDeVere · 18/12/2015 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 19:27

Wouldn't consider 17 a child. Hmm

To be fair I've been thinking about this. I was in the id imagine minority in that my baby's dad was banned from the hospital where I had him because he was abusive and there were concerns he'd try to take DS, I'd have been pissed if they'd let him in "because most fathers aren't a problem".

Maybe it's not that different

MrsDeVere · 18/12/2015 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PinguForPresident · 18/12/2015 19:32

TaliZorah: you said "they're talking about a blanket rule because a MINORITY of people have a specific situation"

All schools have a blanket ban on nuts. Because a MINORITY of children are allergic to them and may have a potentially fatal reaction. Are you ok with that? I'm guessing you are, because you'd have to be a bit of an idiot not to be. Not being able to have a peanut butter sarnie at lunchtime isn't erodig your child's human rights or civil liberties is it? nope, they can have it for breakfast instead, they may be a bit upset, but c'est la vie.

The safeguarding thing is exactly the same. A minority of children may be at risk if their image is published, the consequences may be fatal. So don't post pics of them online, take pics of your own child separately and send those to granny. You might be a bit miffed, but c'est la vie.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 19:36

MrsDeVere you know as well as I do in practise a 17 year old isn't s child!

Pingu actually im not okay with that. Workplaces have nuts. Restaurants have nuts. Environments with food have nuts. Don't eat it yourself and carry an adrenaline shot.

I think it'a another example of mollycoddling. When you leave school how many environments are but free?

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 19:36

Nut

Lizzylou · 18/12/2015 19:49

Of course you have to blanket ban things that can kill people in schools, aka nuts!
And 18 is the legal recognition of reaching adulthood.
Good luck with your folder of evidence and assignments Tali. Please tell me that you are not in Lancashire.
I do not want an imbecile like you teaching my kids.

3point14159265359 · 18/12/2015 19:50

The 'civil liberty' argument drives me nuts.

Going into a school and taking photos is not anyone's fucking right. A school may occasionally grant you the privilege of entering the premises and taking photos, for events such as nativities and other plays. They could equally choose not to.

If you tried entering a school at any other time and photographing kids you'd find yourself being asked awkward questions fairly damn quickly.

A school is not the same as a park or the street or the beach where, yes, you do have a right to take photos.