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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To msg a school Mum I don't know

415 replies

Hackedabove · 18/12/2015 06:27

Regarding her posting a video of the school carol service on FB?

She has tagged in one of my friends so it's come up on my news feed. I'm shocked as it shows loads of them. Probably can't see mine but only because they were hidden.

I was thinking a gentle do you know it's totally unacceptable?

Or email the class rep so a blanket email goes out to all classes via the class reps?

Or contact the school and let them deal with it?

OP posts:
GloriaSmellens · 18/12/2015 17:52

Seriously guys, don't feed it.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 18/12/2015 17:53

Ha ha ha ha
Helicopter parenting
From the poster who said she would stay all day in school with her child

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 17:54

hobnobs

I said IF HE WANTED ME TO. I can't stand the over the top controlling bollocks that goes on on here.

MrsDeVere · 18/12/2015 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 17:56

You said the reason is because they could be tracked down.

My point was shouldn't that apply to everyone then and not just children?

That is relevant

CalleighDoodle · 18/12/2015 17:57

I dont want people putting photos of my children on fb. They are my children. That is my decision. No safeguarding issues. Just a decicion i am making about my children that nobody else has should have a right to challenge.

To add to that, i also dont want people putting photos of ME on fb. Because it should be my choice who sees me in particular situations.

People who put photos of their 'friends' on social media drunk and looking a state are not friends. They are jealous acquaintances waiting desperately to put their 'friend' down a peg or two.

Im a teacher and we have lots of childlen with appalling home lives and backgrounds. Frequently i dont even know anything or suspect anything, until a reason crops up to let me know.

Dont be a dick

Crabbitface · 18/12/2015 17:59

TaliZorah An adult has the capacity and power to ask for photographs of themselves to be removed from social media pages and/or to be detagged etc. A child has neither the capacity, the power or very often the skill to do that. We as adults need to put procedures in place to safeguard their privacy.

Now can you answer the question - why do your rights to post a picture of a child you do not know supersede the rights of that child to privacy (regardless of the safety issue)?

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 18:02

crabbit if I ask for a photo to be taken off FB just because I don't like it it won't be. So that's not relevant

Because it's minor for most people and you live in a world of social media. i shouldn't have to not post photos because someone else happened to be in it.

If you're that worried don't let your kids appear in the nativity

MrsDeVere · 18/12/2015 18:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lizzylou · 18/12/2015 18:04

Tali, I have just completed my first term as a NQT. Safeguarding is a key part of being a teacher, from my training last year and also this year it is something that is hammered home. Safeguarding is in the teachers standards (no. 1 I think!), which you have to prove that you adhere to in order to pass your course. Being so sneery of other people's very real concerns does you no favours tbh.
My son's school has the same no sharing on social media policy. If I want to share a photo of him at a nativity or music show with family who live away then I crop the photos so that only he is seen.
OP, I think someone will pick up the email, we will have people in over the holidays and I access my emails remotely.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 18:06

MrsDeVere in my experience it isn't, if FB have changed that recently then that's great.

Yes. I'm saying that having the capability to ask for it to be removed isn't relevant if it won't be

teacherwith2kids · 18/12/2015 18:06

"But what I'm saying is it's not enough people to put a blanket rule in place"

Every school I have ever worked in (mostly rural, naice county, at least one school vvvvv middle class, many small) has had at least one child who cannot be photographed for safety reasons.

'Not enough people' - really? Nativities and similar usually include at least whole classes, often whole schools, so yes, blanket rules in every school would be entirely appropriate.

Timri · 18/12/2015 18:07

It's a shame that so many people just wilfully disregard things like this. You kids don't need safeguarding? Brilliant, have a Star

Anyway, for the more selfish of you, when people don't care about this, that's when the rules change so instead of saying 'Only photos of your own DC' and 'no putting on social media' they just say no photos/videos.

And I like taking videos of their performances and stuff, I want to be able to show embarrass them at a later date.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 18:07

So then that child's play shouldn't be photographed. Not the entire schools plays.

MrsDeVere · 18/12/2015 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

teacherwith2kids · 18/12/2015 18:08

"If you're that worried don't let your kids appear in the nativity"

And so make a child who may already be fragile and marginalised even more so? Because a few ignorant adults believe that it is more important that they can photograph other children and put the photos on social media, than to take the simple steps that would keep all children safe?

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 18:09

MrsDeVere when I was about 17, yes. It wasn't removed.

hollieberrie · 18/12/2015 18:10

Being really honest, before i worked in schools (been teaching for 6 years), i might have thought something similar about it all being a bit OTT. Blush

Teaching has opened my eyes and mind to a lot of things I was fortunate enough not to be aware of before.

I have kids in my class each year who have been relocated away from violence and abuse. There are security checks in place daily to ensure they are only ever collected by authorised adults. They are so young and vulnerable, the thought of them being put at risk just for the sake of a FB post makes me want to cry.

teacherwith2kids · 18/12/2015 18:11

Tali, it is MUCH easier - and far less identifying - for a school to have a routine blanket ban. identifying which year group has a vulnerable child in is, in itself, both an invasion of privacy and a risk. Yes, teachers will suddenly invent 'jobs' for a few children each time e.g. a press photographer comes in to photograph the school, but having to announce to the parents 'well, last year you could photograph, but this year you can't' makes the fact that Sophie who joined the class is a vulnerable child only too apparent.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 18:11

teacher if the parent is the one with the problem they should sort out the solution and not make it everyone else's problem.

By the way if someone said to me "don't share this photo because it features s vulnerable child" I would be fine with it, saying "you can't share any photos just in case it features s vulnerable child" I would not

teacherwith2kids · 18/12/2015 18:12

Hollie, agree, absolutely. I hope that Tali has school placements during her placement that will bring her similar revelations.

3littlebadgers · 18/12/2015 18:13

But by doing that way, Tali, they identify the vunerable child.

StarkyTheDirewolf · 18/12/2015 18:14

If you're that worried don't let your kids appear in the nativity

That is why our school had a blanket policy on no phones, no cameras, no videos. Because punishing an already marginalised child, on the grounds that some parents couldn't be trusted not to put pictures on social media is not in the best interests of the child.

TaliZorah · 18/12/2015 18:14

teacher fair enough with that actually, I didn't consider new students joining. I don't think a blanket rule is a great idea though I can see how in that case it could single her out

teacherwith2kids · 18/12/2015 18:14

So the parent, who may well be a victim of abuse / domestic violence has to 'make it their problem', and explain to their child that not only did they have to move suddenly away from all their friends, and not only did they have to witness the rape and battery of their mother (and be videoed giving evidence of it for court) but they ALSO can't have what every other child in their school has, a part in the nativity?