Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be quite upset after helping out at DD's school?

74 replies

seamstressmummy · 16/12/2015 17:45

I volunteered to help with the costumes today and I was sitting with the other parents in the infant corridor (it's huge, more like a reception space).

DD's teacher was so shouty :( You could hear her giving the most unclear instructions and then shouting at the children when they didn't complete the task properly (I think it was a sort of colour by number). She was really so unpleasant to hear, I wouldn't have talked to my dog like that.

The other reception class were painting. They split the classes by age and playground gossip says they are a very young class who need a firm hand but their teacher was so firm in the nicest possible way. Listening to her teach was lovely. She was so clear and actually very strict, but in a really positive and gentle way IYKWIM.

I'm so down about DD being with Mrs Shouty :(

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 16/12/2015 17:47

Then say so to head teacher or write a letter saying what you said here, if you don't how will the teacher know she needs to communicate better and less shouty?

Original poster
seamstressmummy · 16/12/2015 17:49

Would I BU to let someone above her know though? I am loath to make a fuss on one day's events.

But then she was terribly unpleasant.

OP posts:
Fannycraddock79 · 16/12/2015 17:58

No not unreasonable and I think I'd say something. When I was 7/8 we had a horrible teacher, we would queue up beside her desk and she would call each of us up to look in our books. If she didn't like your work, she would write on it and then throw it on the floor in a temper for us to pick up.(can't remember whether she did it to me ever) I told my mum and I think she said something at parents evening because it didn't happen again. She might not be so quick to shout like that again if she thinks parents are listening.

NickiFury · 16/12/2015 18:00

I helped out a lot at both my children's schools and I have to say 70-80% of what I heard and experienced corresponds with your description. I think keeping 30 Kid's on track is hard and most of the time it's crowd control more than anything else.

ShebaShimmyShake · 16/12/2015 18:02

No, there's nothing wrong with voicing your concerns. I had a very shouty teacher at school at one point and being a somewhat anxious child, I started suffering a lot of stomach aches and missed a lot of school pretending to be ill to avoid her.

Just be polite, calm and professional about it, give concrete examples of what concerned you, and definitely don't do it anonymously. Parents should feel able to raise concerns such as this in an appropriate manner.

witsender · 16/12/2015 18:05

The school will want to know.

Original poster
seamstressmummy · 16/12/2015 18:05

I think keeping 30 Kid's on track is hard and most of the time it's crowd control more than anything else.

I completely understand that! It was her manner, it was so unpleasant.

e.g. Someone did something wrong in their work and she said 'Why did you do that? Did you not listen? What do you think your ears are for?'

Whereas next door, the teacher was saying 'Let's fix that then. How did it go wrong? Oh dear me!'

OP posts:
ChinaSorrows · 16/12/2015 18:07

Write today's problems and is there any chance you can volunteer again in DD's class? Observe over a few days?

Original poster
seamstressmummy · 16/12/2015 18:09

I have signed up already to help on a couple of trips next term. They prefer parent helpers in a different class though. I think the HT chooses where you go.

OP posts:
ChinaSorrows · 16/12/2015 18:10

Then I would request a chat with the head

mummymeister · 16/12/2015 18:12

OP you have just seen a snapshot of a day. had you been sitting next to me today you would have met Mrs exhausted - couldn't be arsed. tomorrow I will be fine but not today. surely this could just have been her off day - perhaps her dog had died or she was not feeling well or a million other things. hands up, if you have never had an off day at work?

does your DD say she is shouty or has she never mentioned it.

I think it must be really tough to be a teacher at the end of this particularly term with kids who are completely knackered and you are trying to get stuff done. are you being a bit pfb here?

NickiFury · 16/12/2015 18:13

Oh I totally get you OP. I find it very upsetting. I home educate one of my children now.

Higge · 16/12/2015 18:14

When I helped out in school I heard the HT scream at a kid in a really aggressive manner to the kid with the bad reputation - a few of heard it and and none of us said anything. Sad I really regret not having the balls to go to the Governors.

Original poster
seamstressmummy · 16/12/2015 18:14

That is what I am worried about, mummymeister. I mean, I know I have had days with DD which I am glad no-one has seen!

DD says she is very loud and has been getting tummy aches a lot recently.

OP posts:
VocationalGoat · 16/12/2015 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WildStallions · 16/12/2015 18:19

Surely the HT will know.

I think she probably always shouts, the HT knows, and there is nothing you can do (besides move school)

VocationalGoat · 16/12/2015 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hollieberrie · 16/12/2015 18:20

I'm a teacher and I still think its ok for you to say something to the head. As long as you dont go in all guns blazing, which it doesnt sound like you will, then its fine and a gentle word might make all the difference.

The other teachers approach sounds lovely and the one I hope I manage most of the time! We all have our off days but too much shouting is not productive. I had a colleague who yelled aggressively a lot and after a while we all (kids and adults) just tuned her out.

I save my big scary raised voice for when something awful has happened (like a child purposely hurting another child) and then it usually has the desired effect.

theycallmemellojello · 16/12/2015 18:21

Hmm. I think it really depends on how bad it was. Tbh, the remark you say she made to that kid about not listening really depends - if the kid was trying his best then that would have hurt, however if she had seen him messing around when she was giving instructions and knew that he was capable then I think it's a fair comment. I think that it's important for parents to respect that teachers are professionals, and not try to tell them how to do their jobs just because we have kids. But at the same time, if she was really beyond anything acceptable, then yes you should mention it.

GoblinLittleOwl · 16/12/2015 18:22

Well, go in and show your child's class teacher how to teach without raising your voice.

I am sure she will be delighted.

And you might just discover why she finds it necessary.

Lickitysplit1 · 16/12/2015 18:22

OP, I understand how you feel. I know someone who had to come into school during class time once. She heard the teacher shouting and she moved her child. She just did not like that a teacher would talk to small kids like that.
My eldest is 11yo. He has been complaining about the music teacher for ages. She shouts all the time apparently. And takes any inclination for music they have a nd shreds it with her vicious screaming at them...
The other day she was shouting at them all the get in straight lines for rehearsal for Christmas Concert. She grabbed DS by his tie and yanked him really hard apparently. She has grabbed him roughly before, and other boys too.
I just don't know how to approach it with the head,or even if I should?
I'm sure sorting hundreds of boys from 3yo-18yo is draining and frustrating at times, but she really needs to reign it in!

Lickitysplit1 · 16/12/2015 18:23

Should have mentioned that I name changed for that post.

ivykaty44 · 16/12/2015 18:24

Goblin
I had teachers at school who never raised their voice, they were the teachers that had complete calm in class. It can be done but perhaps they went to a different training school to the teachers that shout in class.

Noodledoodledoo · 16/12/2015 18:27

If you had observed me yesterday (athough I am secondary) you would have probably thought the same.

It's the end of a long term, I am biting my tongue as much as possible but after 3 hours of being spoken to by yr9 and yr10's like I am something they wouldn't tread in and the school consequences having no impact on them at all it's tough.

In one lesson yesterday I was talking to the whole class about controlled assessment which is worth 25% of their total mark and was repeatedly asked the same question by different students 6 times, as they can't be bothered to listen - they even said as much - even the most patient person in the world would begin to lose patience with that.

Namechangenell · 16/12/2015 18:28

Gosh, that sounds awful. I volunteer at my DCs' school and have never come across anything like this. DM was a teacher and she very rarely shouted at work - she didn't need to. She was firm and fair and the kids had clear, set boundaries. This was in the days of one teacher, 35 kids or so in a class and no TAs etc.

Swipe left for the next trending thread