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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want a bit more money

177 replies

elf0508 · 15/12/2015 15:44

My mum has just got a cheque for a claim she put in a year ago. Anyway a grand of it will go to my brother, 400 to me because I owe her money for a ps4 I got through her catalogue last year. 200 will go into savings, and 200 on my debts but I have 600 pound worth of debt so I'm thinking of just using it all on my debts.
AIBU to want a bit more money?

OP posts:
Original poster
elf0508 · 15/12/2015 17:56

I work three hours for three evenings, my mum has refused to babysit at all so that's out. I've tried to find child care and everywhere is booked up :(

OP posts:
Original poster
elf0508 · 15/12/2015 17:57

We are both too young for tax credits I thought?

OP posts:
Artandco · 15/12/2015 17:57

When does partner help with child?

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 15/12/2015 17:58

Your partner pays all your bills? Then why did you start another thread stating that he refused to buy your DC any presents at christmas and only contributes £100 a month for rent and bills? And why in the name if all that is good would you buy a £400 gift for a man who is so spiteful to your joint child?

I mean this in the nicest way OP but maybe instead of demanding money off your mum and calling your brother names ( even though the only reason your DM is giving you anything at all is because he prompted her to ) you should maybe start putting your foot down with your DP.

OddSocksHighHeels · 15/12/2015 17:58

You can get tax credits because you have a DC - I was claiming from 23.

AndNowItsSeven · 15/12/2015 17:59

No age limit for tax credits, are you not even claiming child tax credits?

whois · 15/12/2015 17:59

I could have months of fun for my whole family.

And they have had 12 months of fun. So, yeah, games consol still cheap.

AndNowItsSeven · 15/12/2015 18:00

Claim child tax credits, work one more hour and claim WTC childcare element up to 70% of registred childcare.

OddSocksHighHeels · 15/12/2015 18:00

However, I was a single parent. It will depend on joint income and you aren't paying for childcare now. If you could get a full time job and needed childcare the tax credits could be increased.

atticusclaw2 · 15/12/2015 18:00

Working tax credits if you're 16 or over (as long as you have children) and if you're a couple with children you have to work 24 hours between you with one of you working at least 16 hours (unless my info is out of date)

RudeElf · 15/12/2015 18:01

OP are you skint because your "partner" is copping out on his share of everything? If so thats a different story but one we can also help with if we know what's happening. We cant help if we're not getting the true facts.

BadLad · 15/12/2015 18:02

And they have had 12 months of fun. So, yeah, games consol still cheap.

Well that depends on how much else they spent on it. If they only play offline and buy one or two games second-hand a year or so after release, then maybe. If they buy the latest games on release-day and also pay for PSPlus to play online, then it isn't so cheap.

Enjolrass · 15/12/2015 18:03

Are you the poster whose dp didn't want your child to have any presents?

90sforever · 15/12/2015 18:04

I don't think getting the ps4 is a big deal. I use credit cards, (rich persons catalogue Wink) which I can well afford but if I lost my job tomorrow if be fucked too. Being poor is relentless and maybe some people are able to deal with the relentlessness roaming round libraries and free museums but for most people that gets depressing very quickly.
OP you know yabu re your mum and her money but being poor is shit, I get it. Chin up, you never know what next year will bring

elementofsurprise · 15/12/2015 18:04

Birds OP, according to MN, you aren't allowed to want or own anything, if you are poor.

Many posters don't get that there are whole sections of society, who unless they are getting into debt, they'll have nothing,

And if they get into debt they can't pay they will also end up with nothing. Seriously - it's clearly a terrible idea to get into debt if you cant afford the thing in the first place! How do people think they'll pay it off?

...but then they'll tell you that you have more than some, Worldwide and be grateful that you've got four walls to stare at.

That's not ok, but there's a difference between having enough and wanting expensive extras like a PS4.

I know what it's like to be very, very poor. To have no home, to struggle to rent rooms, where others in the house are violent, because I have no choice. To be mentally ill and living on under 25 rate JSA for months on end. I managed not to buy things I didn't need on credit - because obviously I didn't have the money.

Why do people treat credit like free money then get surprised/want help when they can't pay it back? The blog Mr Money Mustache should be compulsory reading!

RudeElf · 15/12/2015 18:04

Happy days OP! looks like you'll be entitled to tax credits as partner is full time and you do 9 hours. Get an application in ASAP!

90sforever · 15/12/2015 18:05

They don't think element, they just want a treat. Its not that strange, treats make us all feel good

RudeElf · 15/12/2015 18:09

OP definitely do tell your partner that all you want for xmas is your £200 debt cleared. Tell him no present, just that. then dump him for being a knob

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 15/12/2015 18:11

OP - I didn't mean for my post to sound quite so harsh... I've been told before that my writing style is quite cold so apologies, but you really need to see your DP for what he is. He has abandoned his previous child ( and I know we had words about it previously however I hadnt read your past posts and didn't grasp how controlling he is over you - you should never have to hide toys for your DC to play with when hes out as he doesnt like toys in the house ) and is financially and emotionally abusing you and your child.

Please contact womens aid for support and make next year a better one for you and your beautiful child.

( and I actually think if you give to one child you give the same to the other so it was a little mean spirited.of your DM - but you're grown and she's not obligated )

Best of luck.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 15/12/2015 18:15

element, wise words. When we first came to the UK (I was 6), we lived with relatives, then in a hostel, then finally in a council flat. We didn't even have a landline phone, we ate the cheapest No Frills stuff from Iceland. I've been poor. I'm hardly spouting this from my ivory tower.

And I remember the threads pp are mentioning - if OP is the same person, she should NOT be relying on Mummy to get her out of debt or give her free childcare, especially while she continues to put up with her controlling DP.

Original poster
elf0508 · 15/12/2015 18:19

If I leave my boyfriend, I have nowhere else to go and nobody to turn to. My mum already told me I was stupid to get pregnant and that it would be a mistake, how can i tell her she was right? Even on my darkest days, all my mum says is "I told you so" I hate myself for what I've allowed myself to put up with but when you've got nowhere else to go what are you suppose to do

OP posts:
Want2bSupermum · 15/12/2015 18:20

whois When I lived in the UK and was poor I spent less than GBP400 per year on entertainment. I didn't have a TV as I couldn't afford it so I listened to the radio and would dance and sing along. Cost me GBP2 for the radio which was a wind up one I found in a charity shop so I didn't have to buy batteries. DH and I still dance in the kitchen to the radio. It is great fun and very affordable.

Want2bSupermum · 15/12/2015 18:21

elf Please go to the CAB. They can help you with housing so you can leave your DP, if that's what you want to do, plus help you through the maze of benefits you are entitled to.

BuggersMuddle · 15/12/2015 18:21

OP YANBU to want things to be equitable, but YABU to expect cash from your mother in the first place.

I can't fathom why you would buy a PS4 on credit in the first place. I know you say you were employed, but it's an expensive way to finance a gadget.

You are in debt and that could easily be resolved by your DP prioritising his family & selling his PS4. Remembering your other thread though, he doesn't seem the type to do that.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 15/12/2015 18:26

elf there is always somewhere to go,even if not desirable. If what has been said by others about your partner is true, you need to get rid of him.