kicked out of nativity with 5 week old.

[nativity15]

I'm just after your opinions. I have name changed but am a regular.

We received a letter about the school play and it said no children under 5 due to limited seating. I have a 5 week old new born and took her along in her car seat as opposed to her pram so she could go on my lap in her car seat not to take up space. Lots of other parents done the same. Once we got there we was all kicked out it was horrible and highly embarrassing. The hall went so quite and I'm sure everyone was looking at me. I quietly explained that we was taking up no extra space (lots of empty seats due to lots being kicked out) and she said I still have to leave due to health and safety. I do not do public confrontations well so quietly got up and left but must say I felt very heartbroken about it. I know it's just a school play but my eldest who is 6 was extremely excited her new sister was coming to 'watch' and now both of us will not be in the audience. My husband works full time and never made last year's due to work but was on paternity leave so this year we was able to all go together....it's Christmas.....we also have a new born and I was very happy about it all....abit of family time and all of us going to see her at her christmas play it just made me feel all warm and cosy and christmasy.

Anyway turns out it was nothing to do with health and safety and was an excuse to get me and the parents before me out the hall.

I have complained about this. Lots of the children have younger siblings. Not everyone has childcare so a lot of angry mum's and dads missed out.

So it turns out that this new 'heath and safety rule' was really the new head teacher didn't want any children under 5...I assume due to noise maybe. This school has always been brilliant in my opinion. They invite in parents with young siblings to do work shops etc and the school children visit other places and people in the community....that's what i like about the school makes you feel and also helps others in the community. But now this has happened I feel the opposite
I'm sure all the children and teachers worked hard for the play and now some children's families won't all be able to come and see them now...very sad.

Aibu to say under 5s are also part of our community and they are part of the families who want to come to the play to see older siblings and shouldn't be excluded due to their age.

I would.like to say this new rule only came in this year. Last year there were other children. I didn't have to think about it until this year but don't recall anything bad happening last year's play so the younger children where obviously not that disruptive.

Also, the children start school aged 4. Sometimes 3 if they go to nursery. That means they are under-5. And still cry. And paddy. And talk.

Your argument is flawed.

I think that schools will eventually stop inviting parents and family members to school performances, and instead, they'll provide pupils with those learning opprortunities by putting on a play/performance for a local nursing home, or similar.

Parents ignoring direct and specific requests, arguing that the HT is being unreasonable, and that the school is wrong, will inevitably result in schools removing the opportunities for parents to be involved in their DC's school lives. More and more schools are having to become more and more draconian, not because it's best for the DC's but because parents consider themselves better informed and better able to judge what is best.

I'm astounded that there is a recruitment crisis in teaching - so many parents seem to be experts in how to run a school, teach a class and educate pupils, why are't they all teachers themselves?

One of the advantages of putting on an afternoon performance where the little ones can go, is that they get to see without all those big adults in the way, faffing around videoing it and sticking their head in the way when their child comes on.

YABU I'm afraid, I had to sit for an hour last Thursday night with a toddler right behind me, kicking, moaning, whinging and mum mum mumming. Along with all the other toddlers in the hall many parents couldn't here the play properly. We have a ticket system at our primary school, two per child , yet many parents dicided that they would bring along either one or two smaller siblings taking up three or four seats each, many of us that came as a couple couldn't even sit together or sit at all . Rules are there for a reason , I wish our primary school would enforce the same tbf.

The Head is possibly now regretting not being a bit more direct about the real reasons why no U5's. It obviously wasnt due to "space" - it may have been due to bad behaviour or noise or disruption or H&S....

AND the school was wrong not to be consistent on both days.

But neither of those things excuse the OP or the other parents who basically ignored the rules in favour of their special snowflakes.

Whatevva God yes, adults standing up/videoing/taking pictures/etc... Our school doesn't allow that but you still get them doing it. Adults are MUCH more annoying than a baby!

Haven't read ft
But the Nativity ,after all, is about a newborn . (our church Christingle enacts it with a real, new baby and its parents in the 'lead' roles)
I am with OP on this one
It would have been fair to request that parents with noisy or disruptive children/babies remove them so as not to distract the performers or ruin it for others ( I would think the directive was aimed at entitled parents who cannot 'see' this).
It's not that easy to leave a 5 week old , and possibly ebf, baby with just anyone.Babies much easier to keep still/quiet/non disruptive than toddlers IMO

I think it's excellent that having told you no under 5s they asked you to leave. Nothing is more irritating than having rushed round to find a babysitter, leave your child there and come to find half the children are still there. They also tend to be the pushy parents who think their dc are delightful climbing on the stage and running off with baby Jesus too.

We had 2 showings morning, siblings welcome, evening they were not. I went to the morning and some woman changed her child's shitty nappy on the chair next to me 15 mins before it even started, now that was inconsiderate

We had an issue at work one year. On the Monday there were 2 doors at the hall while we were in there. But in the afternoon the council arrived to replace the 2 doors with one door which complicated the issue of nativity tickets as anyone including children needed to have their own seat.

I was at a nativity today where a toddler got in the way despite his mother's best efforts.

Ours has two showings: morning unlimited; evening adults only, two tickets per child. They record the evening performance and sell the DVD at a very small profit. It seems to work well.

I cried when they sang Away in a Manger but in my defence it is that time of the month.

Yanbu. The school was dishonest and insulting to parents' intelligence. Seating indeed! No wonder it was ignored. Shame on them

If they had been honest in the first place, I'm sure the rule would have been taken as intended.

Instead they created a humiliating and embarrassing situation because they couldn't just say please don't bring siblings to this performance as the children are still very young and easily distracted. There is another performance for siblings on such and such a date this is what our head does and it's not a problem

anotherusername

There's nothing to get confused about.

No Under 5s. And they gave a reason - could have been any reason. The point remains is "No under 5s" is clear.

There's no discrimination here really. Particulary as she wasn't intending to breastfeed. The father could have gone and Mum stayed at home with 5 week old. Or the Mum could have gone and the Dad stayed home with 5 week old.

Suck it up OP. If you son't like it, feel free to organise next year's Christmas show.

The reason kids were allowed in today was the same reason they werne't allowed in yesterday.

Seating.

the majority of parents can only make an evening performance, so seats are at a premium. So by banning under fives, you give more parent room.

The parents who can make it during the day can bring any kids along that they have in tow.

It's not rocket science people.

tiggy

How much confidence do you think primary dc have?

Apart from only a few in DD class, they are all nervous about being on stage and always have been.

Or do some MN think their DC has the Dibs on being nervous and not confident?

Loving how having the odd toddler and baby has now grown to a big commotion , chairs pulled into a circle, mums chatting away having a catch up, BF, toddler playing with each other, running round, the odd fag and maybe a flask of tea...with the odd cursory glance at the stage....

Because Mums with other dc clearly have no interest in their own, extremely confident stage easy child!

"It would have been fair to request that parents with noisy or disruptive children/babies remove them so as not to distract the performers or ruin it for others"

In an ideal world, yes - and that's what used to happen at the primary school my dses attended. The performances weren't completely undisrupted, but the level of disruption was low - the children performing weren't put off, and didn't have their big moment spoiled, and parents could see and hear well enough.

But from what I have read on here, it seems less and less usual for parents to either try to keep their children quiet and seated with them, or to remove them so they don't cause disruption - I assume that, in the past, the Head has asked parents to keep their little ones quiet, or to take them out, but has found that there are too many parents who ignore this reasonable request, so was left with little choice but to ban all under 5s. The few spoiling it for the majority.

The performance I went to this afternoon was pretty much ruined by people bringing children to a performance that weren't capable of being quiet for more than thirty seconds at a time. I would have been heartily glad of a 'no under 5' rule. Ho hum, the two fuckwits winding their three month olds up so they could take pretty pictures of them squealing were such a festive treat. Lucky lucky!

Yabu, what part of 'no under 5's' do you not understand.

What STDG said. It's too many people thinking rules don't apply to them that leads to them being enforced like this.

At the school where I'm a governor, changes had to be made to the usual Nativity ticket allocation because new extensions around the hall altered the number and location of fire exits. So in order to accommodate all parents there was one performance where everyone was welcome, and another that only parents could attend. Everyone attending, whatever their age, required a ticket, and a few people were turned away because they'd failed to spot the changes in usual practice highlighted on the ticket application form.
I'm not a primary school parent any more so I don't get to hear the complaints in the playground, but I'm willing to bet they'd have said they were being kicked out too. If it makes OP feel any better, the HT and staff hated having to turn people away, but there was no alternative at the time. The only solution in future might be an additional performance, but that brings problems of its own.

Ours always say any child has to have a ticket and their own seat. This is due to school insurance having a limit on number of people allowed in the school hall at once in case of fire etc.

I think not allowing under 5's is mad and you are right to be upset but a stance should have been made BEFORE the play.

I'm glad that there are schools that will kick out people who don't follow the rules. It was clear that no under 5s were allowed. You thought that having a baby would give you a special one up and no one will question you. Well lesson learnt op!

I don't think it's about the child's star moment. Isn't it about supporting them, them knowing that you are there and interested in them? I would rather child one gets its parent there than child's b mum hear the precious line. Ones about the child one is about the adult.

You should all be thankful that your children can speak at all.

Bollocks to that, Head. It's very important to the performing child that he/she is heard and seen. More important than a noisy toddler in the audience who really doesn't want to be there or it would be behaving itself.