"I don't drive"

[AmusingSpoonerism]

I know IprobablyABU but this turn of phrase really winds me up. People say "I don't drive" when they mean "I cannot drive" or "I am not legally entitled to drive". It's not like they just decided that it's not something they'd like to do anymore so stopped. It really (unreasonably) winds me up.

Am I the only one?

Iona that is an ignorant and sweeping statement that demonstrates breathtaking prejudices.

I don't drive.

I have never had lessons/taken test etc.

I can afford lessons. I have no reason to believe I would be physically incapable of driving. I even have time to do lessons. But its just not a priority for me.

So to me, saying 'I can't drive' seems a bit disingenuous, because I almost certainly could, if it was something I wanted, but its not.

If I tell people I can't drive they often try to suggest ways I could learn, etc, so its better to be clear its a choice for me.

YABU

I say "I don't drive". It wouldn't be true to say I can not drive, I passed my test in 1985. I could get in my husband's car now and drive off but I'd be breaking the law.

I developed epilepsy 10 years ago and have not been seizure free since.

I only ever get asked 'do you drive?', not 'can you?' I can, and do, as it happens, but I must give out non-driver vibes. Not sure why people I barely know ask, really. I wouldn't ask them for a lift and none of them has had a car they wanted to give away if only they could locate someone who drove.

I had some lessons back in the 80s but hated it so never took it any further. I get asked "do you drive?" and when I say no I get looked at as if I've got two heads, and then get the usual 20 questions asking why I don't, and given reasons why I should and how much easier and better my life would be if I did drive! Apparently it would give me my independence...funny that, I don't rely on people for lifts and take myself off wherever the mood takes me, be it on foot, train, bus or plane. Because of the reaction from many people when you say you don't drive, it's almost embarrassing to say that you don't and it's as if they see you as someone inferior.

I can't drive because I've never had both the time and money at the same time to take lessons but sometimes I just say 'I don't drive' to save having to explain myself.

I can drive. I do drive.

I don't like driving though and if I can possibly avoid it I will.

Why the fuck is it any of anyone else's business? Why judge others for whether they do or don't drive? That's ridiculous.

Op - ODFOD.
And yanbu, obviously.
I don't drive. I am a good driver and safe driver. I have had 100s of hours of lessons and spent £1000s on lessons and tests. But I get so nervous that I fail my test every time. This situation has pushed em almost to the point of depression and impacts my life in more ways than you can imagine. So sorry if the way I describe the situation is irritating.

YABU. Surely "I don't drive" is just a true statement of fact, if someone doesn't drive, for whatever reason. Why should they give you their reason for not driving, when it is non of your business?

OP, this is little to do with "don't" or "can't" you just don't like people who don't drive.

Whether people don't or can't, nobody owes you an explanation. Previous Posters have given many very good and varied reasons why they don't drive. None of them included the answer "why I should I drive when I can just scrounge lifts off people who can?".

Please don't lump all non drivers together. It's like saying everyone who can't swim shares the same character traits or people who can't ride bikes all have the same personality.

I agree battleaxe , the OP doesn't like people asserting their choice. She wants them to say can't (thus making them choiceless) rather than say don't (people taking charge of their own lives).
And to the pp who was adamant I can't drive due to my disability - actually it is still a choice - I could drive unsafely and illegally - or could drive in an empty car park with no risk to others except myself - but I choose to keep others and myself safe. The DVLA are not aware of my diagnosis - they don't need to be - I choose to stop driving. I don't drive is correct.
There are people who do have conditions which they do need to notify the DVLA about (consultants don't do it - it's up to the individual to declare it and be assessed if they want to carry on driving - all a consultant will do is advise of the need to notify the DVLA - they don't check that you have) but don't do this and carry on driving regardless. I made a choice not to do that. I don't drive.
And I agree with another PP that some drivers are very entitled and this demanding a clarification from non drivers is judgemental.

I used to say I couldn't drive, before I passed a test. Invariably someone would demand why not. Eventually I started retorting "Oh, are you offering me a few hundred quid for some more lessons and yet another test?" Which at least shut up the very annoying interrogators.

I don't drive much now, partly because often ill, mainly because DP is a terrible navigator and worse back-seat driver and has loads more experience, and in London the kids prefer public transport and I can interact with them, so it often surprises people when I do. I quite enjoy it except for squeezing round things - I'm thinking about getting some parking lessons.

I don't drive. The reason I don't drive is that I can't drive, as I have never had lessons so I don't have a license. I can't actually afford lessons at the moment even if I had the time and the desire to learn. I have an excellent knowledge of bus, tram and train routes and times, though.

I say I don't drive. It is true that I can't drive, even though I would like to, but the reasons why are complex. A combination of first not having enough money, then not needing to. Add in physical factors which limit me now that I do have the time and money to learn - dyspraxia, limited movement in my left arm, meaning I'd have to stick to an automatic anyhow and that small issue of becoming extremely dizzy and disorientated whenever a bigger vehicle is moving alongside me at a different speed and I'm probably safest sticking with the bus, even though I'd love the freedom of not needing to.

But to the casual questioner, I don't drive and the reasons why are none of their business.

I stopped learning because I was involved in 3 crashes on lessons and concluded I had a target on my head. (Non were my fault apparently, but hey, what do I know?)... I normally say "I don't drive.... Because I'm too stupid to do it."

Where do you stand on that OP?

I don't drive. I spent a lot of money on lessons, but I just never took to it. I never felt very confident and I used to dread going out in the car. That was a few years ago. All my friends drive and so does my dad.
My partner and my mother don't.

People are always asking when I'm going to start lessons again, telling me I need to because I have a baby and it'll be easier. Usually, everyone is really patronising about it as though it's something me and DP NEED to do.

All our friends drive and my father drives (we don't scrounge lifts). They find it really difficult to comprehend that we are able to do the same things as everyone else. In the summer I walk a lot of places, in the winter I catch a bus and get off outside where It is that I need to be. We make trips to cities such as London, Manchester, Birmingham, Leeds, Sheffield, Chester, York etc for shopping/museum visits/days out some weekends. We turn up at the station and catch a train wherever we want to go.

Our friends that do drive are always asking us how we get about or manage to go all of these places. It's as though just because we don't drive, they expect us to be sitting in the house all the time .

I don't understand why some people think it's a necessity or that people who don't drive are lazy and didn't try hard enough to pass their test.

Battleaxe has it.

When we lived in London I mostly used public transport and hardly ever drove. It was only when we moved out that I began again, through necessity, not because I like it.

I never judge people who don't drive. There are many reasons for not driving. I can also envisage a time in my future when I will either just be a local (and daylight hours) driver or might decide to stop driving altogether.

Nobody's business but mine how I decide to explain that, or not explain it.

With the internet and home delivery it is becoming gradually easier for non-drivers or for those who want to minimise their driving. Not there yet, but going in the right direction.

Well I can't drive as I've never bothered to learn! I do say "I don't drive" as I think that implies I choose not to drive, which is accurate. I choose not to learn for my own reasons (I think the fewer cars on the road the better tbh for a whole load of reasons and that not everybody should be drivers - it's a skill which some people probably don't have or don't learn properly but they go ahead and drive anyway cos they somehow managed to pass the test).

"I can't drive" sounds more to me like I can't drive for medical reasons or something, so I don't want to give people that impression as it isn't fair or accurate. It's my choice, therefore my fault iyswim and I'd like that to be clear.

People get wound up by the weirdest things!

Just to add that there are plenty of people who hold a driving licence who are not able to drive.

The use of the word 'don't' is grammatically correct. The reason somebody doesn't drive (be that legal or ability) is irrelevant. The fact is, they don't drive!

Ok, if ever I meet you I will remember to respond with this ....

Pissy OP - Do you drive, Hazey??

Hazey - well, I can literally drive a car, as I have had many hundreds of lessons, costing several thousand pounds, but unfortunately I have failed my driving test 3 times, due to a combination of misfortune and complete and utter terror brought on by the thought of the test and being 'allowed' to drive. I also, unfortunately, have some horrible associations with driving, due to a close friend having a very serious life altering car crash, which I am not 100% sure I will get over, because everytime I am in a car - driving or passenger - I think about the accident. It is something that causes me huge difficulties - as one of my children is disabled and we have to get to lots of appointments via our fairly abysmal rural bus service, my husband is pretty understanding, but I know he would cut off a lot of people's right arms, for me to get over all this and pass my bloody test - but in the meantime, I live with feeling pretty shit about my crapness over driving.

.....or I could just say, 'I don't drive'.

I plan to do a short PowerPoint presentation. "Why I Don't Drive, in 25 Detailed Slides!"

....actually I do a very convincing interpretive dance, titled

'je ne conduis pas.....la raison'

it is very moving.

. A friend of mine can drive but doesn't because she had an incredibly nasty accident 12 years ago. My grandad who fought in wars could drive but had a very bad accident ( which resulted in him very nearly being scalped and needing a skin graft) my cousins,were in the back of the car too (luckily unhurt) but he never really forgave himself and never drove again (he died when I was 23, my mum was 7 months pregnant with me when he had the accident - he never once drove at any time in my lifetime) I think its perfectly acceptable to say I dont drive.

Well, I don't drive. DH doesn't drive either. We both can drive and have valid driving licences.

Part of the reason we don't drive is because we don't own a car. But, if we wanted to, we could buy a car, we've just chosen not to.

We haven't bought a car, because it is cheaper not to, and we can manage fine without one.

Lots of people don't drive because they don't want to. Sometimes they don't even go through the initial stage of learning to drive. Because, you know, for whatever reason, they don't want/need to be a car driver.

It doesn't make them some sort of lesser person. It is fine not to drive, and not to own a car. It can actually be a choice. Driving is not a necessity. "Can't drive" implies you would if you could. But plenty of people just don't, and it is irrelevant whether they can or not, because it doesn't restrict their life.

I know a few people who don't drive and have never learned/passed their test. They are, in fact, the people who I can always rely on not to be late, not to get lost, never to let you down. They aren't restricted at all, always manage to get anywhere they want to, don't rely on others for lifts, are totally independent.

hazey I would love to sorry your dance