to think that you cannot work full time and support your children's education?

[IslandGirlie]

I've tried to juggle FT work and 2 DCs, they are in Reception & Y1 and failing miserably!
This month I've missed a few school request/ preps for events & kids are having to rush to get things ready for said events. Teachers sending notes to remind things..
I feel like I'm not supporting them in their school work / not spending quality time with them.
Is it possible to be on top this and work full time? School sends at lest 1 email a day! Most days it's two!! There's is always a leaflet in the bag..
DH works full time too and he is helpful as much as he can do. I can't stop wondering that it's not possible to work FT and support children.
How do you do it?

Christmas/Eid/Diwali all pretty predictable though. Even if you don't know the exact date of class parties, why wouldn't you add your provisions to your usual shop 2 weeks before the end of term?

I'm with Bertrand on that one too I'm afraid. And yes, I worked full time with young kids, still do though they are teenagers now (but it's just as busy). Wouldn't have bothered me as one or other of us is/was out every night of the week ferrying to and from activities, I'd chuck whatever snacks it was in the basket when picking up extra bread and milk. Do you never need extra groceries during the week? A loaf has only ever lasted us two days and we go through 6 pints of milk a day.

I'm not saying there aren't unreasonable requests and I also think that they don't always give consideration that parents have busy lives, but that particular scenario wouldn't have bothered me. One that used to raise a mild annoyance was getting homework to build some object the night after bin day when every piece of cardboard/plastic bottle had gone in the recycling. My own fault really as should have kept a stash "just in case" but I never learned.

FFS Bertrand, why the grilling and demands for justification so you can huff about someone living in the backwoods? You could have made your point to start with. This isn't making a strong argument, it's coming across as somewhat bloodyminded.

And I notice, that despite grilling OneMore, you don't seem to have engaged at all with Millions points. 2 minutes, 20/30 minutes, 2 quid, 20 quid might not even register for you. For my parents at jobless points during my childhood it would have meant borrowing money - and no, I'm not going to justify that for you.

shortcut our class party requests rotate by house. So one time it's plates and cups, next time savoury food, next time sweet food, next time drinks, in a random order. And the two dcs in the same house have different requests.

I have bought some emergency pretzels anyway, and also have a stockpile of spare cups from last time, but why is my head full of all this utter crap? I'm not sure why some people have got so much invested in saying this is all a total non problem. Granted it's nowhere near to being my biggest problem but it is an avoidable problem, largely.

You cant add provisions to the usual weekly shop shortcut when you havnt been told what to buy until 2 days before.

I see you are a single parent so fair enough that is extra pressure since you probably have to take your daughter with you, but surely that could be done with the added excitement of helping to choose the stuff for the class party?

Why isn't it dadsy stuff?

If the mums or dads were in school then sending homework home that only parents could do would be reasonable. If mums or dads were home all day then expecting them to produce cakes and goodies for eleventy hundred bake sales a year would also be reasonable.

If schools need to fundraise to the point where parents are fed up to the back teeth of it, then maybe schools need to scale back on whatever they want to raise the funds for. Or start campaigning for decent financial provision from the public coffers.

I do wish that we could just set up a direct debit to the school for £5/£10 per pupil per term to cover stuff like that.
That can be done -- my DCs' HS has this system.

Latrillis -- that sounds horrible. Like Want2Be, my DCs were in elementary school in the US and have done pajama days, in our case associated with Catholic Schools Week which falls at the end of January in my diocese. No specific type of pajamas was required. Every year they watched a movie most of them had probably seen before and ate popcorn in their classrooms. It was always fun. The school solicited donations of G rated CDs from families every year as well as gently used board games, and Lego, marble runs, etc., for the younger classes. Families were always welcome to donate their gently used children's books to the school too.

Thanks to complaints from parents and difficulty policing appropriateness, the DCs' school switched from having children wear Halloween costumes to school at Halloween if it fell on a school day to wearing black and/or orange clothing, if necessary with jeans.

There was always a charge for trips in the RC school and hence trips had to be justified, so they were broadly educational and two per class was the max per year.

Smearedinfood, if your child can't manage the homework on his or her own, then send it back with a note to that effect.

Millionprammiles -- well said.

BR, LOL at 'two minutes in the supermarket'.

Sorry myother but its the end of the year, I'm shattered, DC is shattered, christmas is looming and I'm struggling to get excited about the 25th, let alone this coming Thursday. And there's only so much excitement one can have over bread. A small mercy is that term ends on Friday at least!

My guess is if this was directly requested of dads none of it would materialise and schools would soon accept that parents have better things to do than indulge the inner Valerie Singleton of their children's teachers with egg carton, loo roll, jam jar and papier mache 'homework'...

totally agree math

This is wifework - our PTA even sent round a letter asking for help setting up the school fair. Totally reasonable, plenty of notice, all voluntary. After a massive long list of tasks that needed doing, spoilt it all with the sign off: " And Dads, we'd love your help too".

"since you probably have to take your daughter with you, but surely that could be done with the added excitement of helping to choose the stuff for the class party"

Because that poster has an hour or so to collect her daughter, take her home, do dinner, homework/reading, bath and bed. 20 minutes plus out of that to go and choose bread and jam is pretty significant.

I must say, I am ready for school to finish too. I'm still working most of the holidays, but no transport to and from school everyday (and no to and from childcare as they are big enough to stay at home alone) and no fecking packed lunches and the last activity ends tonight until January too so evenings are free filled with all the other stuff I haven't done yet I agree it's hard and we all get tired, and it's one more job you could do without, but I still don't think that the request was particularly unreasonable. I'm a bit about jam sandwiches though - surely it should be hummus and pitta fingers....

"And I notice, that despite grilling OneMore, you don't seem to have engaged at all with Millions points. 2 minutes, 20/30 minutes, 2 quid, 20 quid might not even register for you. For my parents at jobless points during my childhood it would have meant borrowing money - and no, I'm not going to justify that for you."

I have said several times (I did forget on my last post, I admit) that one of the things schools should most definitely stop doing is asking for things that are expensive. That was in fact one of the reasons I asked what the two days notice item of food was. Our school has 37% of kids on free school meals. Sometimes the requests that outrage better off parents are just what less well off ones want. Half an hour manning a stall. A bottle of ketchup for the tombola. 20p to buy a cake. All perfectly doable. A £20 donation? Not so much.

As far as I would be concerned "onemore", the homework would get ditched and children don't need bathed every night. Once my children could read then homework was their own responsibility. It's not my homework, it's theirs. Obviously I am there if they need help or support but I've not had to be involved since they were 6. I've never had any teacher mention any issue with homework to me in the 9 years since then.

But the point is, nothing would have to get ditched (and that could be a visit to gran or whatever) IF the school made the very minor adjustment of a bit more notice.

BR, I asked earlier whether or not you actually have children of your own to manage through school. Meaning do you actually have any experience of the issues you profess to be such a world renowned expert on?

You are coming across as very patronising to be honest.

OK, once again, different planet. Our schools just take what they are given in terms of donations. You are asked to provide specific items??

That said, youngest said there is a list up in her class room where you say what you are bringing. So maybe they are trying to implement some system. I never go to the class room and have just got back from Lidls with armfuls of junk as my cake baking fell through due to failure to buy sugar early!

yeah ok, but there are worse last minute requests and that isn't really that unreasonable and actually it's sandwiches so you'd need to get fresh bread anyway?

And sometimes life just doesn't always go to plan or need to be so regimented. It's okay to say "instead of reading and bath today we are going to nip to the shops and get stuff to make sandwiches for school and you can help" . I appreciate the poster is tired, it is tiring working and having kids and schools could be more mindful but that particular request isn't a biggy

Our school had a fund raising event a few months back to raise money for Syrian refugees. It was great, you might want to suggest it at your respective schools

It was called 'Bring a Pound to School Day'...parpicitation optional

You can freeze sandwiches and bread

So poster could have taken bread out of the freezer then...

Eh?

I give up.

I don't think BR is being patronising

Both her and I have made suggestions on how to manage. They have mostly being guwaffed at. It reads to me that people are stuck in a kind of stress circle, where they just want to blame the school. Want someone else to solve the 'problem'

But people could be more proactive and relieve some stress themselves. Its easy to predict festivities. And if your kid has been reversing a play for however long and school expects you to provide costumes. Then make enquiries as to what is required. Or tell them what you will be bringing

It would be ideal if schools behaved how you wanted. You should definitely make your preferences known. But in the mean time....

I'm afraid there have been large chunks of my life - mostly when my children were primary aged - when the idea of "just popping to the shop" on top of every bloody other thing would have reduced me to tears. Especially at this time of year.

BR, you don't work. It's a totally different landscape.

"BR, I asked earlier whether or not you actually have children of your own to manage through school. Meaning do you actually have any experience of the issues you profess to be such a world renowned expert on ?"

Well, if being a world renowned expert means not getting into a flap over buying some crisps then happy to take the accolade.

Yes, i do have children. I have also been part of many fundraising exercises. I have been a pr and ft worker and a sahp. Would you like to see my references?