to think that you cannot work full time and support your children's education?

[IslandGirlie]

I've tried to juggle FT work and 2 DCs, they are in Reception & Y1 and failing miserably!
This month I've missed a few school request/ preps for events & kids are having to rush to get things ready for said events. Teachers sending notes to remind things..
I feel like I'm not supporting them in their school work / not spending quality time with them.
Is it possible to be on top this and work full time? School sends at lest 1 email a day! Most days it's two!! There's is always a leaflet in the bag..
DH works full time too and he is helpful as much as he can do. I can't stop wondering that it's not possible to work FT and support children.
How do you do it?

So what's the solution? Should schools just drop anything that isn't purely academic?

No, but make it voluntary. The fact that my son could have had an after-school detention for not making a model of an Amazonian animal for a year 8 geography lesson was ludicrous. The teacher wanted to hang them from the ceiling to decorate her classroom. In year 8 in a comprehensive that thinks of itself as a grammar school lite.

And YY to this:

Get rid of the bloody costumes and dressing up stuff, ffs.
Stop with the short notice for stuff. (to be fair my son's school was pretty decent at notice)
Stop setting homework for parents to do.

Parental involvement should be limited to ensuring the DC are ready for school and that includes making sure the DC do their homework. IMO homework should be set at a level where the child can do it on their own, possibly with a little help from the parents.

Making costumes, displays etc should be completed during class time. Not all parents have the money to buy or make these things and, as million clearly states in her post, it is unacceptable for a child to be excluded on this basis.

Totally agree.

I'm a SAHM at present due to repeated redundancies, so time is not my issue just now.

It's the constant request for money that gets me. Do primary schools think parents have their own money printing press at home? I ignored the cake donation bit and didn't buy anything in the christmas fair. But had to cobble together (meaning buy online) four costumes (two dc having two small roles in the nativity each), then it was onesie day (plus donation for the privilege of having to buy onesies and put them on). I thought that was it but was nearly in tears when the next letter came home to say the last day of term is christmas jumper day. I thought having had onesie day they would drop the christmas jumper day , so off I went to find Christmas jumpers. Not to mention cinema/panto trips etc etc etc. None of these activities were even vaguely educational and as far as I could see very little actual teaching has taken place since half term.

I have an 18 month old, DP was out last night. Trying to get DS1 to concentrate on his writing while fishing DS2 out of the kitchen sink last night, then whatever DS1 has DS2 wants, so we basically need two parents in to do homework, nightmare. I ended up putting a note in the homework bag, saying DS2 was really clingy and Dad was out so we couldn't manage homework.

But yes, that book bag and very little notice.

Any tips with from parents with toddlers who try to get homework done, greatly received...

latrillis That is an awful lot. Here in the US they did a pajama day and watched a movie in their classroom. The kids loved it and it didn't cost the parents or school anything beyond the cost of the two movies they purchased for all schools in the district to share.

School trips that occur during the school day should not require a financial contribution from the parent IMO. Our school district took the kids to see the runaway bunny show a couple of weeks ago. Parental cost was zero, as it should be when you consider there are quite a few parents who are struggling financially.

kinglooie - has your DC SEN? Or rather diagnosed SEN ?
I had the same with DD1 - school work home ....and even homework that was supposed to take 20 mins often tooks hours ...one teacher even asked me how we managed to get her to do any work at home. (Bribery and tantrums - the latter often mine...)
At 13 she was diagnosed with ADHD...

Meant to say my NT DD2 (8) just does her homework by herself - very little parental input needed bar listening to her read and checking she hasn't made any mistakes/forgotten anything (except of course if it is 'parent homework'). She has been like that more or less from starting school...
The contrast is startling - a bit like when she asked me recently if I had put her lunch money in her bag ...I nearly fell through the floor.
DD1 I still have to remember things like that for her at nearly 15...

Case in point - DD comes home tonight (I picked her up from after school club at 6) with a slip saying theres an xmas party on Thursday - so barely 2 days notice - and she needs to bring food. Each child in the class has a different food item so its not as though you can ignore it. My food shopping is done for the week, in meetings all day tomorrow so it'll be a dash to a supermarket tomorrow night when I have an hr to get DD home, feed her and do homework. This is exactly the kind of nonsense that pisses me off about school.

Out of interest, what sort of food?

Why does that matter, BR? PP still needs to go out for it last minute whether it's crisps or cured yak.

Just wondering whether it's something that would take two minutes in the supermarket in the way home, which I wouldn't see as a problem, or something which needed to be prepared or cooked. Which would be a problem.

I don't have two minutes on the way home to go to the supermarket after work - I have to go straight to get kids or I'll be late for after school pick up, would then have to drive to supermarket, park up, go in with kids, drive home - at least 20 -30 mins I would say. Then that's 20-30 mins out of dinner/homework time. Or i would have to go once they were in bed and DH home, another 20 mins at least to drive there and back and shop.

All of which could've been avoided with a few days of notice so PP could do one click on the online shop, taking 30s

So there is no shop of any sort between school and home? Bloody hell, i thought I lived in the backwoods, but there is a supermarket a 2 minute detour, a service station which sells stuff that would do for a party actuLly on the road and a corner shop another 2 minute detour between school and home.

I commute, BR. I need to pick the kids up from after school care on time. If I stopped on the drive from the station to the supermarket, I wouldn't be able to park nearby, that being peak "pop to the shop" time. So by the time i had parked, walked, shopped, queued, paid, walked and driven to school, i would be late - my timings included the actual timing, not your "couple of minutes". Not to mention that i wouldn't actually know about it at that stage if the slip was in the school bag.

I have no shop on my road, it would take 10-15 mins to walk to the shop from my house. I am far from rural, BTW, I could spit and hit the M25 from here.

It'd be awesome if you just believed me without the extraneous detail, though.

Perhaps it's thinking like yours that leads to the short notice though - to the school, each request "only takes a minute"

It is never 2 minutes to stop in to pick up one thing that could have been purchased during the weekly food shop. It is also unacceptable to have two days notice to provide for a party. It is two weeks before Christmas. There are plenty of parents right now who are struggling. This is an extremely expensive time of year.

No it's not. There are plenty of incredibly stupid things schools do- and short notice for things is up there. But it really weakens the argument to say that two days notice to buy a bag of crisps is a massive imposition and get arsey about it. Two days notice for a hand made raised pork pie or a full Malificent outfit. Or indeed any sort of outfit more complicated than own clothes or pyjamas? Yep. Massively unreasonable. A bag of crisps assuming you don't live in the middle of Alaska, or a pound coin? Not so much . Pick your battles.

Do you work full time with young kids, BR, out of interest?

Also - pick your battles is appropriate if your "ask" of the other side is large. Asking them to give a week's notice of a Xnas party is not a large ask!

One week's notice = no additional work for school, nicer for 30+ parebts, no downside.

What's the issue?

Its jam sandwiches we have to bring BR but enough for 30 kids so will have to go buy extra bread (and need to check I have enough jam actually!). Its a slight detour on an already 15 min drive home then theres the faffing in the shop, queuing etc etc. Its not 2 minutes by any stretch. The making of said sandwiches will be done after DD's bedtime.

And I'm an SP with a FT job so not a job I can delegate unfortunately. 2 days notice isn't on.