to think that you cannot work full time and support your children's education?

[IslandGirlie]

I've tried to juggle FT work and 2 DCs, they are in Reception & Y1 and failing miserably!
This month I've missed a few school request/ preps for events & kids are having to rush to get things ready for said events. Teachers sending notes to remind things..
I feel like I'm not supporting them in their school work / not spending quality time with them.
Is it possible to be on top this and work full time? School sends at lest 1 email a day! Most days it's two!! There's is always a leaflet in the bag..
DH works full time too and he is helpful as much as he can do. I can't stop wondering that it's not possible to work FT and support children.
How do you do it?

I get bored with the mumsy stuff, definitely. God yes.

It's tedious as shit, yes.

No Bertrand. I think it's a case of not everybody feeling the same as you do

And yes, a lot of this "mumsy" stuff is dull as anyone who has sat through 487 buff and kipper books will testify

BR, not for me. Yes, I am busy but I am also very uncreative - with l the time in the world, I couldn't knock up an outfit from some sticky backed plastic. So I need time to buy something which I do for the DC's sake so they can participate.

Biff. Not buff. Although in what state of undress you wish to read them is your own business.

The pp who mentioned having enough notice is spot on. The DCs' primary was crap at this. They would say, way back in September "the Christmas play will be week commencing Xth December" but not actually say the day till the week before, like I'm supposed to block a whole week out of my diary on the off chance

And lots of people who are busy aren't "high flying" - I know I am privileged to be able to throw money at the problem.

Biff/Kipper aren't "mumsy", they are dire with ghastly illustrations . There are far better alternatives!

Rereading the same book 1000 times is tedious but technology has got the better of that one!

Biff and kipper aren't mumsy per se. The endless tedious monotony of listening to a small child reading them while trying not to fall asleep is

And finally - it's easier for me to work from home at relatively short notice for a nativity or whatever than it is for many in less "high flying" jobs such as care work.

I know that was a joke, BR, but it's quite misplaced.

And if there are far better alternatives, the DCs' school never used them. Of course we read other books. But the homework reading used to bore me rigid

And frankly, re creativity: I would rather use mine for purposes other than school costumes. Really.

The bit i find hardest is fitting in reading, i get home at 6 and my kids are just to tired to read to me by then. The morning is to frantic most days so i end up looking slack.

Honestly, I have nothing against 'female' pursuits, BR. I love cooking and baking. But I'm not artsy in the slightest bit. I studied engineering and work as a software developer, so you could stereotype me as much as you like.

And yes, I'm far too busy to bake cake for a PTA cake sale. I am out of the house at 7am, and back by 5.30. I know I'm not the busiest and have a very flexible job. But when I get home I make dinner for the family. DH does pick up and drop off. After putting the children to sleep, make lunch, do dishes, laundry etc, it's often nearly 9pm. I do not want to bake for the school's sake. I only bake when I have leisurely time. Usually in the school holidays. I also can sew. I have made my own curtains. But I won't be doing it on a school night.

It's not about being too high flying to do this. There is zero need for such short notice. It is rude and inconsiderate of schools to expect parents to complete a task at short notice. DH and I both work. We need notice, at least one month, to attend a school event that is between the hours of 8am and 6pm. We have 2 DC, soon to be 3 DC. As it is, things like the multicultural lunch required me to flex for 2 days. I made the Danish meatballs about 2 weeks in advance as I put the dish on the weekend menu and scaled up production.

Also special projects done at home benefit whom? Dd is making a solar system in class with everyone participating. At home we are reading.

Oh and to clarify DH travels daily between 3 and 4 days a week. He leaves at 5am and returns home between 4pm and 8pm. I leave at 7:20am and return home at 9pm four days a week. We are busy but not too busy if we have proper notice.

When you make school costumes, the creativity lies in helping your child develop the imagination to inhabit the character he/she is playing. Which I find fascinating.

DD's class teacher (a newly converted former actress) put on Maeterlinck's Bluebird with the whole class three years ago. The parents got really involved and it was staged in a real theatre. DD and I had an amazing time in junk shops buying props. But we were given notice in September for a June production.

I find this very hard too, as I have four children and DH and I also work full time. It always feels like we've scraped through another week. My eldest is now in Y6, so I am hoping that at secondary school there will be less "parental involvement".

In the years I have cut down - I also NEVER do baking or "making" costumes, I just buy online ready made ones and I don't attend church events, as I feel that if I want to share a religious activity with the children, I can do this at the weekend at our local church.

I have an after school nanny but even between the three of us (mum and dad and nanny) it feels sometimes hard to keep up with school requests for four primary school children on top of reading, homework, cooking, the odd after school activity and or pick ups/drop offs and practising musical instruments.

I do think that Christmas is particularly busy in this respect, though, and it does make it all feel rather overwhelming.

I'm glad this thread is here. We struggle. My shifts are all over the place. Most commonly I'll work 12 hours normally 7-7 or 8-8 plus travel to and from work. I can work 13 days on one off or a 6 day week easily. Sometimes stuff slips. Housework still needs doing etc and I miss the odd note. I feel so bad when school calls to say dd is the only child without an order form etc and I have to make umpteen phone calls to get it done. They demand money for things every bloody week too. Good school but Christ they're hard work. Glad it's not just me.

YANBU. You dont have superhuman powers. I remember the days when we worked for a contracted number of hours every week, and evenings and weekends were overtime.
Now every employer seems to think its ok to demand you are available as and when. People claiming tax credits cannot apply for those jobs, which is a kind of covert way of weeding single parents out of the company profile.
Working parents need more support IMHO.

I hate the requests for money, the fundraising when you have to find £1x3 or 20px3 every day for 2/3 days for a cake sale followed by a book fair.
I do wish that we could just set up a direct debit to the school for £5/£10 per pupil per term to cover stuff like that.

Oh my employer freely admit women with young children are utterly unreliable and uselessly unflexible. I took great pleasure in telling them to shove their 6th day up their collective arseholes as I'm dropping to 5. My contracted days. They're up shit creek just now as all the guys on the new low hourly rate are refusing to do extra too since they're paid so little. You reap what you sow and all that.....

Reading has been done on the bus home on more than one occasion, and sitting waiting for swimming lesson.

Sending a cake would be a miracle. They don't need 30 odd cakes per class though. Really they don't.

The tin lid on it is DS is so distractible teacher despaired slightly for a bit and was sending home the work that didn't get done at school. She did discuss it with me first. Unfinished schoolwork can take easily up to an hour (that's with my full attention to keep him focused, he will stop working and start climbing furniture if I try to start cooking etc)on top of daily reading, on top of standard home work. We get home at about 6. Unfortunately a late night means worse inattention at school the following day.

These type of school activities only serve to shine a glaring light on the divide between the children who have and the children who don't.

I never felt sad as a child when my parents couldn't come to school events. I understood they worked long hours (for little money).

What did make me feel inferior and excluded was the dress up days, the craft projects etc which my parents struggled to find time or money or skills to support (there wasn't much call for costume/cake/paper mache making in the village in India where they grew up).

Its sad and frustrating that this is still going on in state schools when there is (apparently) a much greater awareness of the differing home lives pupils have.

So I choose not support it (despite having ample money to throw at cakes and costumes made by someone else, endless art supplies and a creative dp). I've no desire to make another child feel the way I did.

Well said million. I agree with you.