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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think put your phones away and enjoy the night

72 replies

Narnia72 · 13/12/2015 09:16

Last night I went out with a group of mum friends, some of whom I don't know very well. They spent the whole evening posing with each other and taking photos. Looking round the bar it seemed to be a really common thing. I don't get it. Why would you spend so much time taking the perfect photo for social media and not actually socialise?

I felt like a killjoy. I don't enjoy having my photo taken at the best of times and am not v photogenic. We did have a laugh, but it seemed to centre very much around the photos.

Clearly haven't been out much, but it was really weird to observe. Everyone there, not just my group, was doing it. When did this become such an all consuming thing?

OP posts:

Bunbaker · 13/12/2015 09:18

I agree. We went to some friends for dinner last night. As the three of us were together I didn't need my phone and neither did OH, so we left them at home.

DD is a teenager so she feels as if her right arm has been cut off if she doesn't have her phone with her.

RabbitSaysWoof · 13/12/2015 09:18

About 7ish years ago I noticed it. I still haven't jumped on board, it's really sad.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 13/12/2015 09:20

The selfie to show the World and his Wife you're having such a fabulous time is very very important! .

Bollocks to the fact that actually having a good time chatting and having a, ya know, laugh is much more important.

KoalaDownUnder · 13/12/2015 09:20

YANBU. I had this at a posh bar/restaurant the other night.

We are all 40+, not 14! I know it's just a bit of fun, but I still wish people would leave it out.

MizK · 13/12/2015 09:20

People who don't tend to go out very much tend to do this I've found...I kind of understand wanting pictures when you're looking your best and having a good time but if it's constant that's annoying and also bloody rude if it's just a few people amongst a large group. I hate it when people post pics of me on a night out because I always look terrible despite having felt pretty confident at the time...its quite wounding to the ego to see the cruel truth the next day so YANBU!

LadyDeirdreWaggon · 13/12/2015 09:22

Yes and then they get plastered all over Facebook. I can't be arsed with it - a few pics at the start of the night then put the phone away and if you can't remember it then it didn't happen

SanityClause · 13/12/2015 09:23

We went to a chain restaurant last night; DH, two of my DC and me. I had my phone on the table, as DD1 (16) was out, so might have wanted to contact me. But it was turned over, and I didn't use it.

At the table next to us, was a young couple. She was on the phone to someone when their food arrived, and sat talking on the phone for a good 10 mins, while she was eating, basically ignoring the person she was with.

I was utterly gobsmacked!

No photos, though.

AwkwardSquad · 13/12/2015 09:24

I saw a young couple in the spa - never off their phones, even in the hot tub. I thought it was really sad.

Original poster

Narnia72 · 13/12/2015 09:35

Yes Lady Deirdre, loads all over FB today. I didn't want a night out where it was all about the best selfie. Didn't realise these mums were like that tbh. They're really nice people and good fun, but the constant photos ruined it for me, and I just felt uncomfortable.

I have a crap phone that takes rubbish photos, so couldn't even join in!

OP posts:

TaliZorah · 13/12/2015 09:39

I don't mind if it's just once or twice but I get annoyed when the whole night is about photos

mincepieprivateeye · 13/12/2015 09:43

I think it's sad and quite shallow, it's only going to be a good night if you can show what a fantastic night you're having to the people who aren't there

HemlockStarglimmer · 13/12/2015 09:44

I'm out for our work Christmas meal tomorrow. I am wondering how much the others will be on their phones. I'm the oldest by far (old enough to be the next oldest's mother) and the only one who doesn't keep their phone in sight all the time.

Phones are banned at mealtimes now after my husband and the friend we used to feed every night sat at the table on their iPhones ignoring me and our young daughter. Having spent all day with her I didn't want to be the only one entertaining her at the dinner table as well.

Cheekychops73 · 13/12/2015 09:46

You are definitely nbu it grinds my gears. I have a friend like this and it's bloody annoying. Pics as we go out, when we're out, off the food & drinks, pics of us pissed plus constantly updating Facebook. JUST STOP IT FFS. Enjoy the night, the company & the fact that we're away from kids. Plus don't like seeing pictures next day of me pulling a Chandler Bing photo face in every single one grrrrrr

Anniegetyourgun · 13/12/2015 09:57

I don't think my mobile phone has a camera. Probably. Will take a closer look some time. I don't like having my picture taken as a general rule, never have, and am not that interested at looking at pictures of other people getting gradually more drunk over the course of an evening as proof they must have been enjoying themselves (and I thought my memory was bad!).

Maybe I just take this attitude because FB is not a big thing in my life (or a thing at all for that matter). Maybe I'm missing out on a vast source of amusement and social cohesion. Pity me.

pictish · 13/12/2015 10:05

Why would you spend so much time taking the perfect photo for social media and not actually socialise?

How long does pushing the button actually take though? Two seconds?

God knows I'm not one for photos on social occasions...before we all had smart phones with cameras, you used to get people who would turn up to everything with a camera and I used to want to shove it up their arse.

However, don't turn it into something it's not by means of exaggeration. The dull narcissistic selfie taking doesn't actually detract from the chat and the socialising whatever.

Anniegetyourgun · 13/12/2015 10:07

I actually left my brother's wedding party early because someone kept annoying me with a camera. Bit extreme reaction, I admit - I was younger then. Nowadays I'd just shove it up their arse and carry on enjoying the evening.

pictish · 13/12/2015 10:09

What actually annoys me is those people who will post a thoroughly shit picture of you on facebook because it's also flattering photo of themselves. Fuck off with that self promoting shit.

FreeSpirit89 · 13/12/2015 10:09

I actually love leaving my phone places. I often leave it on charge in another room, although i use it fairly frequently. If i am out with family, it remains in my bag.

Wit friends, we have a few pics but not many.

icewithaslice · 13/12/2015 10:13

This is a photo that makes me every time I see it.

Put your phones away and enjoy the moment!!!

To think put your phones away and enjoy the night

chrome100 · 13/12/2015 10:16

I went to a gig the other night. Everyone in the crowd was standing videoing it with their phones. Why? Are you really going to sit at home and watch it back with its rubbish sound? Why not take the time to watch with your eyes and listen with your ears and actually remember the moment as it was?

Allbymyselfagain · 13/12/2015 10:29

Can't I just defend my generation, I was out last night, youngest at the table by 10 years and it was the women in their 40s and 50s who had their phones out constantly, taking photos, checking Facebook and showing photos of their kids, husband, dog, nails holiday etc.
I checked my phone occasionally as I was waiting for a text about my lift home but other than it sat in my bag. I'm all for one good photo that everyone is expecting and posed for but not these constant unaware photos when you have a mouthful of food etc!

CantSleepClownsWillEatMe · 13/12/2015 10:44

Thing is, it's never just a few seconds is it? It's "ooh wait wait, I want to get a picture of the meal before we start eating" so you pause while groaning inwardly. Then it's "squeeze up, X I'm missing half your head" so everyone squeezes in obligingly. After that you get "let's see, Oh My Gawd I look gormless, don't use that one" and on and fecking on...

That's before I even get started on those who have to upload their photos to Facebook immediately and then keep checking for likes

WanderingTrolley1 · 13/12/2015 10:47

Yanbu.

It's sad.

TheoriginalLEM · 13/12/2015 10:47

Soon people will be taking pictures of their shit and posting it on facebook

specialsubject · 13/12/2015 10:48

me me me. Aren't people boring now? If it is a family gathering of people who haven't met in ages, take a few photos after the meal. With a proper camera rather than a crappy phone one.

was watching some Queen footage last night; the audience WATCHING rather than using their twit-bricks. Happy days.

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