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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think put your phones away and enjoy the night

72 replies

Narnia72 · 13/12/2015 09:16

Last night I went out with a group of mum friends, some of whom I don't know very well. They spent the whole evening posing with each other and taking photos. Looking round the bar it seemed to be a really common thing. I don't get it. Why would you spend so much time taking the perfect photo for social media and not actually socialise?

I felt like a killjoy. I don't enjoy having my photo taken at the best of times and am not v photogenic. We did have a laugh, but it seemed to centre very much around the photos.

Clearly haven't been out much, but it was really weird to observe. Everyone there, not just my group, was doing it. When did this become such an all consuming thing?

OP posts:
FeelingSmurfy · 13/12/2015 10:48

I take lots of photos but that's because photos get me through the crap times. If I am able to spend a day somewhere nice, with people I love, doing something I enjoy, then its a rare occasion. I don't spend the whole time taking pics but I do like to take photographs (using a camera generally if that makes any difference?) I don't sit and text, Facebook, play games etc on my phone though, its only used for taking pics if I haven't got my camera with me

Genera!ly if its with people I love (who I don't see often) somewhere general like home then I take pics in the first twenty minutes and then the camera goes away, if I'm out somewhere new then its every so often when I see something.

I take the photos for ME though, I do share them on Facebook (generally a few days later all in to one album, so people only look if they want to) but that's because there are people that understand how hard it is for me and want to share that with me. Also there may be family that they don't get to see much of and they enjoy the new pics (ALWAYS with permission of anyone in them, and shared so that their Facebook friends can also see (but not general public)

SurferJet · 13/12/2015 10:53

Yabu - this isn't 1901 when it took 3 hours to take a group photo - it takes all of 20 seconds to take a quick pic on your phone so doesn't detract from anything - it actually adds fun to the evening!

Op. drag yourself into 2015 Grin

bettyberry · 13/12/2015 10:55

I went to see bill bailey. I took a photo of his set while we waited. Stuck that on twitter then turned it off.

I sometimes snap pictures when I'm out but I never upload them until the morning after when I'm sober enough to not share the rubbish ones because of the whole not wanting to advertise you're out thing.

TheoriginalLEM er... that's already a thing, sort of. Well it was with my EX. He and his mates would take pictures of their creations and send them to each other. They called it battleshits. You won if you grossed out the recipient. Reason no 397 why he is an ex.

Shakey15000 · 13/12/2015 10:55

Drives me bonkers. No more so than concerts. Rows upon rows of people holding cameras aloft recording Confused Why FFS??? Faffing about with the angle, zooming in/out.

You're there, focus! Enjoy, soak up the atmosphere, close your eyes sometimes and let the music wash over you. Be in the moment. Very sad imo.

WorraLiberty · 13/12/2015 10:59

Soon people will be taking pictures of their shit and posting it on facebook

There's been a website around for years called 'Rate my poo'

Where people upload pics of their turds and yes, people actually rate them Confused

No wonder toilet queues are always so long Grin

DisappointedOne · 13/12/2015 11:00

I'd say 25% of the parents at the school Nativity this week watched through their phones or iPads. :(

TheGirlFromIpanema · 13/12/2015 11:03

I'm over 40, look much better in the flesh than pics but I don't get the angst over phones/photos I really don't Confused

Some people have always taken pics when out and about! Difference is now that it's much easier and doesn't cost anything Wink I think there would have been just as much photo taking in the 70's/80's/90's if it didn't cost so much to develop etc!!

Catsize · 13/12/2015 11:11

Yanbu.
Went to a Lang Lang concert recently. Tickets really expensive. It was totally ruined by the idiots taking photos, checking emails, fb, their diaries(!?). I asked the young lady in front of me if she wouldn't mind putting her phone away for part 2 as it was really distracting. She looked at me like I had asked her to drown a dozen kittens.

Fratelli · 13/12/2015 11:13

Hmm I think to let it ruin your whole night is a but much tbh. A photo takes 2 seconds. I went out for a meal with friends and we asked a waiter to take a photo of us all together. This was because it was the first time we'd all been together without babies and we wanted it as a memento.

I don't think taking photos all night is a bit boring but I also doubt it was all night as w photo takes 5 seconds. I also didn't realise people get judged for taking photos, especially as it's completely harmless behaviour!

meddie · 13/12/2015 11:23

I went to a Prodigy gig last year. I was so excited to be going, have been a fan for 20+ years but never got to see them in the 90's as my children were young. The set started and I was looking forward to the whole atmosphere of the gig and as 'breathe' came on virtually the whole crowd put their phones in the air. No dancing, no enjoying the gig, just mindless zombies standing there holding phones aloft, totally missing the point of going to actually see Prodigy.
There was one guy to the side, looked late thirties early 40's had a pair of glow sticks and was raving his heart out. He was the only one who looked like he was actually enjoying the moment.
I don't get it either

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople · 13/12/2015 11:24

Is it harmless though?

I have a friend who is constantly on her phone. Not so much taking photos but texting / whatsapping etc. Went out to a pretty posh place the other night and her phone was out on the table the whole time.

I think it's chavvy and I'm at the point with this friend where I think she'd rather spend time on her phone than speaking to me so in her case it's not harmless - it's harming her personal relationships. Appreciate she is an extreme case though.

ZenNudist · 13/12/2015 11:25

It's really braggy. I hate fb bragging. I'm not on it so a real dinosaur. I do what's app as it's useful but did find myself taking pictures of cakes I made and newborn ds which felt wrong in a show off kind of way. I do like to get the odd pic from a friend though showing a place they've been or so I can see their kids.

It's staged photos or braggy sentiments (how much we love each other is always the best- why would you need to share that except at a wedding!?) that make me 😡

WoodHeaven · 13/12/2015 11:27

YANBU.
If it's not photos and selfies, it's texting the DH or the dcs etc etc.

And yes it has a big impact on the evening because all the attention from everyone is on getting 'the' photo and if you aren't part of that, you are left out. Just like you would in the 'olden days' if no one was talking to you.

The thing is, it doesn't take just two minutes to do it. It's the photo that each person is taking, then the time to cehck it over, comment about it together then decide it's not good enough and take another one.

I have been having a coffee with a few other women a few weeks ago. I would say about 50% of the time was spent with at least one (usually more) person sending a text/taking a photo. During that time, all the conversation went dead. Not what I would call being sociable.

I don't think people really realise how they actually take and the impact it has tbh.
There are also quite a few studies now showing that, as people spend more and more time on social media, forums etc, they loose the ability to socialise in RL (or can't learn in thre case of teenagers). And then they don't want to do it because they don't really know how to do it.

I'm struggling to see a way forward thoough.

lilydaisyrose · 13/12/2015 11:27

Slightly off topic, but my pet hate is parents who take their kids out to a cafe or soft play then spend the whole time on their phone. Fair enough if child is in play area or chatting to a friend as it's just like reading the paper or a book, but it upsets me when I see kids desperate to chat to their parent and the parent phone engrossed.

pictish · 13/12/2015 11:30

That's her fault, it's not the phone's fault. My phone stays in my bag when I go out. I am totally unimpressed by people who are out with you and whatever is going on on their phone.
Texting people back while someone is talking to you is so rude.

FellOffMyUnicorn · 13/12/2015 11:31

IceWithASlice - that looks photoshopped to me, to outrage people.... looks like it worked!

To think put your phones away and enjoy the night
FellOffMyUnicorn · 13/12/2015 11:32

I think we used to take 'normal' film cameras to nights out 'in the olden days', but no social media ofc

One or 2 pics i personally think is fine, but not all bloody night, and not 525 pictures on FB thanks!!

Fratelli · 13/12/2015 11:33

I don't think it's braggy to take photos just to keep for yourself though. I do think it's harmless aa nobody is getting hurt etc. Nobody in my group uploads anything without everybody's consent. Usually we just send them to each other via private messages.
I think if it's really bothering you tell them or get new friends. We would never text etc whilst socialising and if one of us did we're close enough to tell them it's impolite rather than bitch about each other tbh.

LagunaBubbles · 13/12/2015 11:33

Obviously bring on your phone the whole night is very extreme but there's nothing wrong with taking a few seconds to take a few photos and then another few to upload it. I do it but would never stay on my phone the whole night. Same with concerts, especially my favourite band Simple Minds. I video about 30 seconds of a few songs, it never spoils my enjoyment of it and it doesn't get in people's way as I'm always at the barrier, and yes I do watch the clips again.

NowBringUsSomeFuzzpiggyPudding · 13/12/2015 11:44

YANBU

chelle792 · 13/12/2015 11:52

I had this at a new year party once (about 15 of us). The clock struck 12, we did a count down and then everybody and I mean everybody, although I didn't have my phone with me got their phones out and texted everyone happy new year. I just sat there staring at everyone in disbelief. No one hugged or kissed, etc, it was just phone time. Bizzare. Life is passing some people by

SisterNancySinatra · 13/12/2015 11:53

Totally agree with the pointlessness of people filming at concerts, I've been to a few concerts recently where people are viewing all of it behind their phones , no dancing, no clapping, not even smiling . Why?? To bore other people with later or watch a crappy film later without the atmosphere or decent sound .

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople · 13/12/2015 11:54

I just don't understand recording a whole song at a concert - always find that utterly bizarre. Also unless you are standing right at the back of the room it is annoying for the person behind you.

BasinHaircut · 13/12/2015 12:12

I don't get it. I take less photos on nights out now than I would have back in the days when I had to take an actual camera. I think all of the magic and nostalgia has been taken away from photos because of the sheer volume of them.

Also the ability to view, delete and re-take means that they never capture an actual moment, just people doing the same pose in different locations.

pictish · 13/12/2015 12:13

Agree about concerts. What are you going to do with your tinny, muffled, blurry recording of of the performance anyway?