To just ask for an ELCS?

[NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight]

I'm 7 months pregnant with dc2. Dc1 is 21 months old and my experience of birth was extremely traumatic. I don't want to go into loads of detail but it went very wrong, dc was in danger, it ended in theatre with a room full of people, spinal, forceps etc. Afterwards I'm fairly sure I had undiagnosed pnd, although I didn't know it at the time.

The hospital have apologised for how things went and I'm under the consultant for this pregnancy, because I'm so worried about the birth.

I've been psyching myself up for it and they've promised that I can have an epidural as soon as I arrive if I want (they talked me out of it last time). They've also asked if I want an ELCS.

I know this isn't technically an AIBU but I'd really appreciate your opinions. The more I think about it, the more I don't know if I can face going through labour again, although I know it's unlikely to be like last time.

I'm also worried though about the recovery from a CS whilst looking after a toddler. Dh will have 2 weeks off work, and then my mum will come to stay for a bit (family all live hundreds of miles away). I don't need to drive as we live in the suburbs and everything is walkable.

Just how bad is the recovery from an ELCS? Should I just go for it?

Quite

Hello again. The dilemma continues. I bumped into a friend yesterday actually can't stand her but can't seem to shake her off. She's also due dc2 at the same time as me. She asked how I was feeling about the birth and I mentioned my ELCS plans. This led her to give me a helpful lecture on being too posh to push . Hmmm. I was quite gobsmacked - it's not like that at all. She knows that I had a bad birth with my first, although I haven't told her all the details. Her birth was rather idyllic by the sounds of it.

I'm still having the odd doubt. I've never had an epidural but can anyone tell me - is it really and truly pain free if you have one? I'm suddenly having doubts. The consultant said that I can have an epidural as soon as I arrive if I decide to have a VB.

Hmmm and argh. What to do? I'd better eat some mince pies while I mull this over.

Happy Christmas all!

I was induced with ds1 so had an epidural. I didn't choose it, I was told that contractions from an induction were much stronger so it was just presented to me as the 'normal' chain of events when I got to about 5cm.

It IS pain free, completely. I went from screaming agony to absolutely nothing as soon as it was in. Going from 5cm-10cm was easy peasy, I was sitting up in bed drinking a cup of tea and reading a book. Lovely.

But I would never, ever have one again. A cheery midwife came along and checked me and told me I was 10cm so to start pushing. Um...what? I couldn't feel anything. No urge to push. I tried but with everything completely numbed it was impossible. I had 4 hours of pushing, which nearly ended in an emergency C-Sec, but just managed to birth with ventouse delivery and then a haemorrhage and two blood transfusions. I know you can never know exactly what causes these things, but personally I put it completely down to the bloody epidural. You're strapped to a bed flat on your back, no chance for gravity to do its thing and it doesn't give your body a chance to respond automatically IMO.

My second birth was 3 hours and for the first time I actually realised what they meant by the urge to push, which i'd not experienced before. I was nervous too of the same happening but it was such a different experience. I was induced again, they again recommended an epidural which I refused. 3 hours of labour with G&A, 3 minutes of pushing and no problems.

Epidurals I believe have a high rate of resulting in births which need manual intervention/C Secs/other problems which I don't think is made clear enough. I would personally take my chances without one because the chances are, for a second birth, you may have a much better experience anyway. I would rather have 3 hours of agony and it's over than an Epi which drags things out and could lead to other problems.

If you want an ELCS, go for it. The birth stories of the people I've known have them under similar circumstances have been very calm, pleasant experiences.

DS1 was an EMCS following a long labour and complications. I went down the VBAC route as I really wanted to shift the mental baggage and finish the job off. The second labour was much better, but because of the default paranoia over scar rupture, temporarily having difficulty following DS2's heart rate meant that there was lot less patience than there'd been the first time. I was rushed into theatre, where his position meant that it was either a difficult EMCS, or difficult forceps. I got the forceps and 3rd degree tear.

Comparing the two recoveries was 6 of one, half a dozen of another. The tear was far more painful and seriously aggravated my SPD. I had much more strength and could carry my baby around and care for him, whereas the package of circumstances around the EMCS left me very weak for a good month.

I don't regret the VBAC, mentally it was what I needed to do, and I knew it was a gamble which I didn't get a great payback on. ELCS is a more predictable outcome which suits many people. If that's better for your body and mind, go for it. (And ignore any prats banding about posh to push crap).

A little update... DS arrived on Friday by ELCS. It was definitely the right decision. Everything went well and I was really calm and relaxed. We had skin to skin straight away and everything has been perfect. The after pain is nothing like as bad as when DD was born and now I'm home on my own sofa happily breastfeeding away.

Thanks all! I love the NHS

Well done OP, and congratulations.

huge congratulations op!!

look after yourself though relax for a good two weeks...

I am glad it was the right decision for you, it was very healing for me, and has sort of wiped out or done something to the memories of my first labour!

It was a brilliant way to have a baby for me, glad you are safe, well and happy.