To just ask for an ELCS?

[NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight]

I'm 7 months pregnant with dc2. Dc1 is 21 months old and my experience of birth was extremely traumatic. I don't want to go into loads of detail but it went very wrong, dc was in danger, it ended in theatre with a room full of people, spinal, forceps etc. Afterwards I'm fairly sure I had undiagnosed pnd, although I didn't know it at the time.

The hospital have apologised for how things went and I'm under the consultant for this pregnancy, because I'm so worried about the birth.

I've been psyching myself up for it and they've promised that I can have an epidural as soon as I arrive if I want (they talked me out of it last time). They've also asked if I want an ELCS.

I know this isn't technically an AIBU but I'd really appreciate your opinions. The more I think about it, the more I don't know if I can face going through labour again, although I know it's unlikely to be like last time.

I'm also worried though about the recovery from a CS whilst looking after a toddler. Dh will have 2 weeks off work, and then my mum will come to stay for a bit (family all live hundreds of miles away). I don't need to drive as we live in the suburbs and everything is walkable.

Just how bad is the recovery from an ELCS? Should I just go for it?

OP. It it were me I would push for a CS. My
Experience was similar to others already mentioned: first birth v traumatic (back to back, failure to progress, drip, forceps, PPH, PND). Second pregnancy I was very anxious and asked consultant for a CS. I was dismissed; he waved his hand and said second births much easier as I was pre- stretched. I reassured myself it couldn't be much worse. It was. Big baby, back to back, induction, failure to progress, left pushing for too long, ECS, massive PPH and paralytic illius (bowel nearly burst). I wish I insisted on a second opinion as I was already high risk. I won't risk another birth as I clearly don't labour well but, if I did, I would absolutely insist on a CS. Docs don't always know best; there was admitted fault on hospital's part for mine too.

I have no liking or disliking of you, TZ, I don't know you. Wiping away the data like that does look like you have not understood what average means.

Reni but the data is misleading because it doesn't follow up or include extra costs. Obviously some cesareans have them too, but I'd be willing to bet less than VB as there are so many variables with VB, and even in straightforward births there are often problems long term

Princess, get your smug self-satisfied ass off this thread. How fucking rude you sound.

Why is there such a fuss about birth?!

The amount of people who claim it's not a real birth unless it's vaginal birth really irritate me. As long as the baby is born healthy and happy who cares how it was born?!!

Same with feeding. I don't care if a baby is ff or bf as long as it is fed.

Just because you gave birth in the sea surrounded by dolphins with no painkillers singing Kum by aye and then breast fed your baby with your breast covered in liquid gold does not make you a better mother

Just because you gave birth in the sea surrounded by dolphins with no painkillers singing Kum by aye and then breast fed your baby with your breast covered in liquid gold does not make you a better mother

I've had 2 wonderful natural births, but have also opted for ELCS this time. Despite wonderful birthday, a 2nd, then a 3rd degree tear have made me choose this, and despite being a bit scared of the surgery, I more scared of tearing again. I have none of the risk factors, but tore both times so would rather take the known risk of the CS. 2 and a half weeks to go for me

I had an elcs following emcs. For me the elcs was not a good experience, I don't want to go into detail in case it upsets anyone but unfortunately there's no 'easy' option with birth Ime. I dislike the idea that the media has that elective caesarians are an 'easy' option, too posh to push etc.

Op I hope it all goes well for you whatever you decide

I know studies have been done which do indeed show cs are more expensive. However, I for one would gladly pay my taxes to allow some other woman to have the choice whether it's more money or not I don't think that is important.

I was hugely disappointed in having a cs I didn't find it magical in anyway whatsoever, and that doesn't make me a bad mother either.

What I found during my own journeys was that it was my health that mattered, everything else I was able to cope with.

YANBU!

I would say do all your research and then go for it with seeing the consultant and pushing for one.

If one consultant refuses, they have to refer you on to another consulting who will discuss further with you.

However, one thing is that some hospitals do have a blanket ban on ELCS on maternal request. If yours is one of them you'll have to re-think where you give birth.

I had an ELCS for my first, absolutely no regrets.
I was so lucky that the hospital just seemed to be in agreement very quickly and they booked me in. Had to see a 2nd consultant to talk it through.

Plus they made me see a consultant psychiatrist to check I was of sound mind to make the decision (!)

It's your body & your birth.
Nobody is going to have to put up with any birth injuries apart from you.

I kept being told, oh VB is much quicker recovery, you'll not be able to do anything after a CS.

Looking at some of my friends' quite frankly fucking horrific VBs and long, painful recoveries, I think I got away with so much by having an ELCS.

And, yes I might've had an 'easy' VB...but I wasn't prepared to take the risk and see if that would be true.

Do what is right for you & your baby.
I certainly relaxed and enjoyed the remainder of my pregnancy which most definitely would not have been the case if I'd been refused an ELCS.

Good luck!

Princessfrog - here is your badge - now please do FOD. I'd be willing to bet that your 2 marvellous VBs were nothing like mine, and that you didn't have to wait 9 months to sit down without pain, use the loo, have sex etc. Oh, and I think the cost of my forceps delivery, theatre full of doctors, several nights in hospital and months of physio following my VB probably somewhat negated the money saved by the NHS because I had a VB in the first place.

I'm all for saving the NHS money - lifelong Labour voter and public sector worker here. However this kind of thing is partly why I love the NHS so much. It's there when you need it, and I do need it.

I for one would gladly pay my taxes to allow some other woman to have the choice whether it's more money or not I don't think that is important

THIS x 1000000. I'd much rather my tax money went on that than on tenuous "boob job needed for my mental health" ops or treatment for other self-inflicted "illnesses" I'd be better off not mentioning.

OP I owe the safe delivery of my DCs to emergency C sections. Yes it was a bit of a shock and uncomfortable but it was fine and my babies were healthy and thrived.

Go for it if it's what works for you and your family. Oh and just for info apparently I'm the first CS on either side of the family and there is no reason to think my 'weak' genes mean I've lumbered my DD with an inevitable CS.

I'm interested to know the pp view on finding out the sex?

I don't know the sex of this baby I carrying, I am however having an elcs in a few months.

Having had a previous emcs should I have found out the sex and acted accordingly?

Yes Thursday, I wondered the same thing This one is a boy luckily, otherwise that'd be another daughter I'd be saddling with my inadequate birthing genes. When dd is old enough to understand, I'll be sure to apologise to her. Fingers crossed she won't see the importance of her entire life defined by the possibility that she may take after her mum if she chooses to have children one day!!

But if she does, please god let us still have an NHS to look after her!

Quite right!

Princessfrog, if we are going to talk about birth choices, please could you withdraw, like your father should have done.

I think you are being unnecessarily harsh on princess cost is a valid point- although as stated one I'd happily pay.

I think the thing that got people's backs up was her comment about disappointment, like CS is the lesser option.

It wasn't the whinge about costs (ignorant as that was - it would cost more in subsequent treatment and counselling for traumatic vaginal births, and anyway it's not labouring women who are responsible for NHS funds), it was the sneering at women who have C sections and complete disregard for the fact that women choose it for very good reasons.

But the froggy one has been popping up on threads all over the place lately making one or two comments that are inflammatory and stupid (I suspect they are only intended to be the former) and then bogging off again, so we probably shouldn't encourage him.

I had a ELCS OP and honestly, it was so peaceful and the staff were calm and pleasant. It was a happy painless event and I would say the recovery involved perhaps 10% of the pain of a successful VBAC - not that I've had one. I wasn't able to carry another child for other reasons.

I've been in the delivery room (with a friend) where a labour unfolded very much as you describe. I was shocked by how the midwives spoke to the woman - as if she could pop the baby out if she would only buck up. And they were really nice midwives, too - just under pressure and mystified because a scan had failed to show that baby was stuck earlier. It didn't seem to occur to them to check again until a doctor eventually came along and declared an emergency - but they'd been watching the baby's distress and harassing my friend for a good half an hour before that. The baby in question came very close to not making it (my baby actually - my friend was also my surrogate). Even though it was my baby who was in danger, my friend's agony was so awful that she's the one I think about when I remember that night.

With the pressures on the NHS at the moment, I don't think you can ever guarantee that everything you may need in the course of a vaginal birth will be available exactly when you need it. With a ELCS, those resources - the surgeon, the pain relief etc - are ear-marked for you in advance and things wouldn't go forward unless they were available. Although you have no way of knowing if you would need any interventions at all, I would go for the ELCS if I were you. If nothing else, you need a different kind of experience to anticipate.

I think it's a fairly common feeling after cs, being disappointed.

I know I was and needed help to get over it. I possibly cost the nhs loads afterwards! To repeat wasn't an option I chose personally, but I know I'd fight tooth and nail for someone else if that's what they wanted.

That's not what the frog said.

Frog implied a cesarean was a second rate option and that we were somehow being previous (put on your big girl pants), not that she personally was disappointed