Downstairs neighbour complaining about my breastpump, AIBU not to change rooms at night?

[Cealee]

Just bought a new powerful pump as I'm exclusively expressing. We live in a flat that's split over 2 levels so our bedroom is on 1st floor, our lounge upstairs on 2nd floor. Our neighbour (on ground floor) caught me in hall to ask what the 'mechanical noise' is that wakes her up I explained its my breastpump and that I need to express at 11pm, 3am and 7am to maintain supply. She said it makes ceiling vibrate and is very loud (even though it's not on the floor it's on a cushion on my bedside table!) She asked me to do it upstairs. I explained this isn't practical as my DH wears earplugs so I need to be able to hear baby if he wakes. She suggested I take baby upstairs with me!! Why should I have to move my sleeping baby upstairs (and risk waking him) every time I express milk? He's just started sleeping through and got used to his cot. And there's no way I'm going to move cot upstairs and sleep on sofa for the next 8months

AIBU to think it's rude to tell someone not to express milk in their own bedroom? It's not like I'm playing loud music! I don't see why neighbour can't just get some earplugs!

You refused to have your newborn sleep in another room because he had to get used to his bedroom? He doesn't know where he is! You should have swapped with Dh then so the baby didn't disturb her. You are being incredibly unreasonable about the pump - the baby doesn't need you there all night, there is nothing stopping you pumping upstairs with a monitor. If I lived below you I would do a lot more than make sarky hints as I have insomnia. I'd be fucking furious.

You are one of those irritating ones that think when you mention the word baby everyone just be falling down worshipping whatever you say. Get over yourself.
You are disturbing someone else at ridiculous times of the night, sort it out and be considerate.

Noise is a different matter to vibrations. Leave the pump on and go to your neighbours room to check out exactly what the problem is.

Either it's VERY loud or you need to deal with the vibrations which could be rattling other bits of ceiling etc making more noise. Perhaps put pump on a thick piece of solid foam?
Or make a foam box to put pump in?

To be honest I find it really hard to believe it's loud enough to wake her up and keep her awake. The fact that she also complained about your baby crying makes her sound like an arse.
That said, it seems easy enough to move room and leave your baby sleeping. Might be nice to have 15mibs alone

Lovel;y

Yes, I linked to anti-vibration mat you can buy if that is the issue

The adult in the room with the baby doesn't have to be you, leaving the baby with your DH while you go upstairs to express will still be following the SIDS guidelines. Take a monitor if DH would sleep through a wake up.

If it's the vibration that is the problem then earplugs won't help your neighbour. She needs to sleep as much as your DH does so you do need to find a solution.

Sharon

Due to having had children, if I am woken in the night I stay awake.

YABU. I am woken up at night by our neighbours kids who scream day and night. The sleep deprivation is awful and affecting me in my job. If your noise is affecting your neighbours, you should move rooms.

There is absolutely nothing wrong or precious about parents wantingto sleep in same room as a young baby.

There is absolutely nothing wrong or precious about parents wantingto sleep in same room as a young baby

No but it is precious not to leave the baby for 15 minutes while she pumps

Strawman

If I were the OP's neighbour, I think I would be playing death metal, at full volume, under her bedroom at midnight and 4am. If it's OK for her to wake her neighbour every single damn night, it would be OK for the same to be done to her!

"I just feel if she's disturbed by a breast-pump she should wear earplugs or sleep in another room, not expect a new mother to move her baby in order to express milk" because it's all about you, isn't it? YABVU.

Well Narp that's unfortunate but doesn't mean you can't expect to never be worken by your neighbours when you live in what sounds like a terribly insulted flat (you can't even hear my breast pump in the room directly downstairs from the one it's being used in and that's in a house with the doors open)

narp yes the mat would be a better solution than a block of foam, a Stanley knife and a hot glue gun

Sharon

But her neighbour can. And she can address the insulation. As I have said.

There is absolutely nothing wrong or precious about parents wantingto sleep in same room as a young baby.

No one said there was anything wrong with that.

I've always wondered what type of person it is that becomes a 'neighbour from hell' because I've never met anyone so unreasonable. But now I realise, it's people like the OP who can consider the needs of themselves and their family but nobody else. It's bizarre.

It's a bit precious to think that the baby can't be left in the room for a short period of time. Does she go to bed at the same time as the baby every night too? It must be exhausting being sleep deprived and never getting a minute to yourself as well as having a husband who deliberately ignores his child at night. Maybe that explains the ops unreasonableness

LovelyFriend - of course there is nothing wrong with parents wanting to sleep in the same room as the baby. But that doesn't mean the parent can never leave the bedroom whilst the baby is asleep in there! If she needs the loo in the night, does the OP sit there with her legs crossed until the baby wakes up again? Or does she get up and go to the loo?

And there would be a parent in the bedroom with the baby - the baby's father!

OP have you looked at kellymom which ive always thought is the bible for anything breastfeeding related.

It does suggest on there that it's the amount of feeds per day which matters rather than keeping a strict 4 hour between pumps. Also testaments from people who didn't pump at night. I know nhs advice is to aim for 6-8 pj ps per 24 hrs at least one of which should be in the night.

KellyMom also says thag at 12 weeks you can decrease the amount of times you pump without seeing a decrease in supply?

I am interested to know if the DH is a dickhead who isn't pulling his weight.

Or if OP is one of these women that actively prevent their partners from parenting. It's rare but it does happen

The comment about the baby needing the mothers presence to regulate breathing, made me wonder.

"I just feel if she's disturbed by a breast-pump she should wear earplugs or sleep in another room, not expect a new mother to move her baby in order to express"

Are you serious???

YABU. Your neighbour needs her sleep, she shouldn't have to worry about changing rooms.
Why can't you just get a monitor like others have suggested?

I'm a bit flabbergasted that your DH doesn't get up to help with his child? Why not?

YABU. Noises in the middle of the night don't need to be all that loud before the council noise team will step in. Acceptable level during night is much lower than day time. What counts is how loud it sounds in your neighbours house.

In Scotland acceptable legal levels are:
Daytime 07.00 - 19.00 hours L Aeq 41dB
Evening 19.00 - 23.00 hours L Aeq 37dB
Night-time 23.00 - 07.00 hours L Aeq 31dB.
(so any of your expressing times count as night time).

By comparison:
10dB Absolute silence
13dB Incandescent light bulb hum
15dB Pin drop from a height of 1 centimetre heard at a distance of 1 meter
30dB Totally quiet night time in desert
40dB Whispering
60dB Normal conversation

There can be fines for refusing to stop making noise, or in the case of persistent offenders, the equipment can be confiscated.

You can tell I've had noisy neighbours before.

My next door neighbours phone vibrating on bedside table used to wake me up. Sound and vibrations travel far in the still of night.

i think OP is just selfish and thinks the whole world revolves around her....there is a lot of them around x