Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Downstairs neighbour complaining about my breastpump, AIBU not to change rooms at night?

733 replies

Cealee · 08/12/2015 17:11

Just bought a new powerful pump as I'm exclusively expressing. We live in a flat that's split over 2 levels so our bedroom is on 1st floor, our lounge upstairs on 2nd floor. Our neighbour (on ground floor) caught me in hall to ask what the 'mechanical noise' is that wakes her up Blush I explained its my breastpump and that I need to express at 11pm, 3am and 7am to maintain supply. She said it makes ceiling vibrate and is very loud (even though it's not on the floor it's on a cushion on my bedside table!) She asked me to do it upstairs. I explained this isn't practical as my DH wears earplugs so I need to be able to hear baby if he wakes. She suggested I take baby upstairs with me!! Why should I have to move my sleeping baby upstairs (and risk waking him) every time I express milk? He's just started sleeping through and got used to his cot. And there's no way I'm going to move cot upstairs and sleep on sofa for the next 8months Angry

AIBU to think it's rude to tell someone not to express milk in their own bedroom? It's not like I'm playing loud music! I don't see why neighbour can't just get some earplugs!

OP posts:
queenMab99 · 08/12/2015 18:50

Some very harsh replies here, not everyone has a baby who can feed normally, my son was very prem, and was in hospital for six weeks, I felt it was even more important to breastfeed him so expressed until he was home and strong enough to feed, there could be all kinds of reasons to use a breast pump, oral abnormalities etc. so the op doesn't need to be scorned for using an electric pump. However I think a compromise could be found.

hownottofuckup · 08/12/2015 18:54

OP chose to have a baby, neighbour chose to live in a downstairs flat. Both come with their own trials as is to be expected.
Breastpumping isn't anti-social behaviour, and you do need to do it every 4 hours and especially at night due to hormones. It's not PFB.
Buy a vibration mat that pp linked in to. It's up to your neighbour what steps she chooses to take to minimize the impact on her.

evilcherub · 08/12/2015 18:54

If he's not latching, have you checked that he is not tongue tied? Also, hugs, I disagree with a lot of the posters here. I think if you live in a flat you have to accept that there will be some noise, especially with a baby. Ok, it's disturbing neighbour but breast pumps aren't that loud. I had the same one as you and certainly wasn't that noisy! Could you suggest she tries earplugs and you move rooms if necessary as a compromise?

SuperFlyHigh · 08/12/2015 18:54

sharon OP says she bought a "new powerful pump", now I've not gone looking for reviews on it and noise... But by that description I'd guess it does make some noise and/or vibration. Enough to wake the neighbour anyway. The times 11pm and 7am aren't too bad... But if you're just going off to sleep eg at 11pm and a pump wakes you at 11.15 or before or indeed from 7am onwards then you won't be a happy bunny now will you?!

And as someone else said noise travels further and is louder at night.

MerryMarigold · 08/12/2015 18:54

Some people are light sleepers. If I sleep in my Dd's bed, I can hear my NDN pulling off loo roll in her bathroom and flushing, running tap. The loo roll holder is so squeaky! I am a light sleeper, but I can't really complain about her. However, if it was every night 4x per night I can see that I would start losing it.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 08/12/2015 18:54

queenMab some are harsh, yes, but the op is acting so entitled it's not really surprising. There is no compromise to be found, the OP needs to stop disturbing her neighbour at 3am for reasons that are totally ridiculous. The op can fix this so simply but her entitled attitude is stopping her from doing so.

ShowMeTheWonder · 08/12/2015 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Cealee · 08/12/2015 18:58

Ok apparently I'm being VU! I will try to sort it out, first by trying the cushioning suggestions. It's a bedside table (2 drawers with cabinet) so maybe the vibrations are bring amplified. I'll try it on bed tonight and pop round to neighbour in morning.

To me the pump really isn't that loud, it's marketed as being 'whisper-quiet' and 'quiet enough to use next to a sleeping baby'. DH wears earplugs because baby grunts in his sleep!

If the cushioning doesn't work I'll move it upstairs. Though we have neighbours on both sides who use their upstairs as a bedroom so I will probably disturb them too!
Are posters saying if you live in a flat you mustn't use an electric breastpump at night?? What about people in a 1-bed 1-level flat? Not everyone manages to get milk with a hand-pump.

I'm generally a very considerate quiet neighbour. Always walk softly, never bang doors, never play loud music, keep TV volume low, don't vacuum after 8pm etc. But I think of a breast-pump as an essential piece of medical kit so I expected neighbour to be more understanding. Surely if you live in a flat with families you expect some noise from babies in the night? I often hear NDN's toddler tantruming in night, I'd never dream of mentioning it or asking her to move him out of his bedroom.

OP posts:
hownottofuckup · 08/12/2015 18:59

If it's that noisy or whatever it's disturbing your neighbour I imagine there will come a point soon it will wake your baby, so you might find you do want to change rooms then!

LittlestLightOnTheTree · 08/12/2015 19:00

Lol ' an essential piece of medical kit'??

No. No it's not

SuperFlyHigh · 08/12/2015 19:02

Well done for taking suggestions on board OP. Smile I know flat living isn't easy sometimes!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 08/12/2015 19:02

No it is not an 'essential piece of medical not'. You say you realise you're being unreasonable, then come out with a blinder like that?!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 08/12/2015 19:02

*kit not not.

BanningTheWordNaice · 08/12/2015 19:03

"Dislikes noise of pump". No she doesn't dislike it she's being woken up and kept awake by it. Sheesh this thread is one of those where clearly the OP can never be unreasonable.

littlemermaid80 · 08/12/2015 19:03

Why doesn't your DH get up to help with the baby?

Potatoface2 · 08/12/2015 19:04

maybe your neighbour should get her vacuum cleaner out at 3am....maybe it will wake your baby....would you like that?

BanningTheWordNaice · 08/12/2015 19:05

Oh oops posted before OP's latest update.

Chippednailvarnish · 08/12/2015 19:05

But I think of a breast-pump as an essential piece of medical kit so I expected neighbour to be more understanding

What, understanding in the same way you are about waking them up every four hours?

And I hope you never have a reason to find out what " an essential piece of medical kit" really is.

Minisoksmakehardwork · 08/12/2015 19:05

I suspect the neighbour is initially being woken up by your alarm. And once awake, then hears the noise/vibration of the pump as there's no day to day sound to drown it out.

Find ways of getting your pump cushioned from the vibrations and get dh to pop next door and listen, so you can work out which noise it is which is most bothersome - alarm, vibrations etc. Or get dh to turn the pump on and you pop next door to hear what it sounds like.

I'm not going to say don't express. I exclusively expressed for twins for the first 9 weeks. But please acknowledge that sleep deprivation is a form of torture, small babies are adept at employing it by themselves without us also adding the pressure of providing our own milk. You won't be thinking rationally and if you're that tired and irrational, your neighbour is probably getting barely more sleep than you so is also feeling the effects.

hownottofuckup · 08/12/2015 19:07

Yup part of choosing to live in a flat. Do what you can to minimize the impact on her, but she might have to do something her end to make herself more comfortable too. It's just life, it won't last forever.
I doubt very much anyone will confiscate your pump!

Cellardoor1 · 08/12/2015 19:07

The neighbour hasn't asked you to move your child out of the room. Do you really think you can't leave the baby sleeping for a few minutes while you go upstairs to pump?

maybebabybee · 08/12/2015 19:07

I notice OP still hasn't said why she cant leave the baby in the room with her DH while she pumps.

Enjolrass · 08/12/2015 19:08

DH wears earplugs because baby grunts in his sleep!

I don't get this, you said he sleeps through everything. So why does he need ear plugs?

It doesn't make sense, if he needs ear plugs he doesn't sleep through everything. Or does he sleep through because he wears ear plugs

Either way, wake him up before you go.

It's his baby, if it disturbs him that's kind of tough.

giraffesCantDoThat · 08/12/2015 19:09

OP you are doing brilliantly to be expressing all that milk - well done. Not read all replies - have you had good advice re latch, like from a bf peer supporter for example with expert training?

Don't be put off if this is how you are doing it - you are doing a great job getting that milk to baby. You are being a bit U. But yes likely having an 11 week old and sleep deprived etc is adding to that. :) Can you do something else for the 3am feed at least? Hand/move rooms?

You are right about breathing and it's the reason tiny babies are meant to sleep in with an adult - no need for people to be so harsh about it, don't know OP history with regards to cot death. But going out for 15 in to express and also having dh in the room too isn't likely to be an issue.

There are lots of twats on MN who deserve shitty replies - a new Mum with a teeny baby who is hardly sleeping isn't one of them. [santa] [santa] [santa] [santa] [santa] [santa] [santa] [santa] [santa] [santa] [santa] [santa]

Enjolrass · 08/12/2015 19:09

I notice OP still hasn't said why she cant leave the baby in the room with her DH while she pumps.

The nearest she came is saying that the mother of a baby must be present to regulate breathing.

Swipe left for the next trending thread