Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Downstairs neighbour complaining about my breastpump, AIBU not to change rooms at night?

733 replies

Cealee · 08/12/2015 17:11

Just bought a new powerful pump as I'm exclusively expressing. We live in a flat that's split over 2 levels so our bedroom is on 1st floor, our lounge upstairs on 2nd floor. Our neighbour (on ground floor) caught me in hall to ask what the 'mechanical noise' is that wakes her up Blush I explained its my breastpump and that I need to express at 11pm, 3am and 7am to maintain supply. She said it makes ceiling vibrate and is very loud (even though it's not on the floor it's on a cushion on my bedside table!) She asked me to do it upstairs. I explained this isn't practical as my DH wears earplugs so I need to be able to hear baby if he wakes. She suggested I take baby upstairs with me!! Why should I have to move my sleeping baby upstairs (and risk waking him) every time I express milk? He's just started sleeping through and got used to his cot. And there's no way I'm going to move cot upstairs and sleep on sofa for the next 8months Angry

AIBU to think it's rude to tell someone not to express milk in their own bedroom? It's not like I'm playing loud music! I don't see why neighbour can't just get some earplugs!

OP posts:
KatieLatie · 08/12/2015 22:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

CrazySexyCool123 · 08/12/2015 22:25

Which setting do you use? I start with 70 L05 then 54 L6-8 and fail to see how a neighbour could hear it.

bettyberry · 08/12/2015 22:26

When I expressed, like the op because my DC wouldn't latch on, I expressed whenever DC fed. It certainly wasn't every 4 hours on the dot. It was as erratic as his feeding pattern. It did eventually shift into a regular pattern. I didn't have any problem with my milk supply and was actually expressing more than he needed. I had the occasional morning I woke up with over inflated balloons in my bra and leakage. I never suffered with mastitis, pain, supply dropping off. So you can successfully express 'on demand'. The only reason I stopped was down to me needing medication that was passed into breastmilk. My health came before my DC and formula isn't a bad thing.

OP, deal with the vibrations from the unit. That is your problem. I'm an irrational mess when my NDN decides to drill at 7am I'd come over all Hulk if I was woken at 3am!

Sharoncatastrophe · 08/12/2015 22:26

Ffs Tali, it depends on how old the baby is. How frequently you were BF them. What your own supply is like. Don't assume you did the right thing based on someone's "advice".

XiCi · 08/12/2015 22:27

Astonished by the selfishness of the OP here. Must be fucking awful for the neighbour to be woken every night. Being woken at 3am is something that could very quickly affect your health if you can't get back to sleep. There is no reason a baby can't be left with a monitor while you express upstairs at 3am.

LauraMipsum · 08/12/2015 22:28

OP YANBU. I had a Spectra S2 same as you and it genuinely is quiet enough to use next to a sleeping baby, I pumped while DD was asleep quite a lot (fed her to sleep then pump). My DP couldn't even hear it in the next room, never mind a different flat. Unless your walls are made of paper or your neighbour is a ninja then there is no way they can hear it. Are they maybe hearing your washing machine or something?

I couldn't hand express either.

And there are some nasty comments here - sleeping in the same room as your baby until they are 6-12m genuinely does reduce the risk of SIDS because they regulate their breathing by yours. That doesn't mean you need to "get over yourself," what a horrible thing to say.

#TeamCealee

Gunpowder · 08/12/2015 22:35

It's fair enough to tell the OP she is unreasonable, everyone is entitled to their opinion, but some of the comments here are very spiteful and when everyone piles in to compete at telling a new mum what a dreadful neighbour/human she is it seems uncomfortably like bullying to me.

MNHQ
TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 08/12/2015 22:37

Evening all
We would just like to remind you all that Mumsnet's raison d'être is to make lives easier - we know this is a divisive topic but y'know, peace and love.
Thanks ever so

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/12/2015 22:40

It clearly IS waking the neighbour up, though, Laura - so why is the OP reasonable to think she can go on waking the neighbour up at 3am every night, for as long as she is expressing?

And if she does go upstairs to pump, her dh will still be in the same room as the baby, to help regulate the baby's breathing and prevent SIDS, for the 15 minutes the OP is out of the room.

Frontstep · 08/12/2015 22:42

Glad to see the sisterhood is alive and well!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/12/2015 22:47

Isn't the downstairs neighbour, who is getting woken every night, also a woman? Or does she not count as 'one of the sisterhood' because she does not have a baby?

Getting woken up every night, maybe more than once, would drive me completely round the bend.

LauraMipsum · 08/12/2015 22:48

Unless there is something badly wrong with her Spectra there is no way that it can be waking the neighbour up - mine was only a tiny bit louder than the fridge whirring. I assumed from the OP she had a hospital pump that sounds like armageddon.

It's unreasonable if it genuinely is the pump that wakes the neighbour but honestly, I used the same pump for MONTHS - as has a PP - and to me this is as likely as someone saying the neighbour complained that the sound of them typing has woken them, which is why I wondered if it might be another mechanical noise (freezer / dishwasher / washing machine / external noise). It just isn't possible IME with that type of pump to wake anybody up.

I still don't think "get over yourself" is helpful or kind.

Gladysandtheflathamsandwich · 08/12/2015 22:52

But a machine doesnt have to be noisy in itself to create noise.

Put your phone on vibrate and put it in your pocket....no noise.

Put your phone on vibrate and put it on a glass table....sounds like the ceiling is caving in.

The OP is putting this pump on a hard surface with drawers that will amplify the sound rather than muffle it. That is what the neighbour is hearing, not the noise from the pump itself. Is that concept really so hard to understand?!

Gladysandtheflathamsandwich · 08/12/2015 22:53

Also, if the OPs bedroom floor is not carpeted then it will sound even worse.

Redglitter · 08/12/2015 22:54

The sisterhood Hmm Really? So what we're all meant to.agree with the op because she's female? ?

Pedestriana · 08/12/2015 22:55

I used to live in flats where you could hear a gnats fart in the neighbour's place. I didn't need to express during the night as DD fed around every 4 hours when little. If I did need to express, I used a manual pump.

Johnny5isAlive · 08/12/2015 22:56

As an aside though, is it really waking the neighbour 3 times a night? How many people are asleep by 11 and still aren't awake by 7? I'm jealous of those that mange that.

The 3am waking in unacceptable though

MidniteScribbler · 08/12/2015 23:03

Anyone who uses the phrase 'the sisterhood' as if that is a valid justification for anything a woman wants to do should immediately be evicted from said sisterhood.

AndNowItsSeven · 08/12/2015 23:05

Midnite it is the op's house, I used to pump in bed with a hospital grade pump. I hardly slept as I had twins. There was no way I was going to another room to be cold and uncomfortable. My dh slept next to me with no ear plugs. The neighbour is being ridiculous. Don't live in a flat if you want perfect silence 24 hours a day.

Gladysandtheflathamsandwich · 08/12/2015 23:06

Anyone who uses the phrase 'the sisterhood' as if that is a valid justification for anything a woman wants to do should immediately be evicted from said sisterhood.

Especially when the victim of the shitty behaviour that they are attempting to justify is also a woman.

Being a mother does not make you more special or deserving or entitled (yes, I said it) than any other woman.

Gladysandtheflathamsandwich · 08/12/2015 23:10

Seven why is the fact that you had twins and didnt want to be cold your neighbours problem?

You signed up to have your kids, they didnt!

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 08/12/2015 23:16

Seven the neighbour hasn't asked for silence 24/7. She has asked not to be woken at night by the noise the OP is making.

MidniteScribbler · 08/12/2015 23:27

Don't live in a flat if you want perfect silence 24 hours a day.

It's not 24/7, it's fucking 3am in the bloody morning!

I bet if you had been woken at 3am (and possibly 11pm and 7am as well) every single day for months, I bet you'd be banging on your neighbours door as well.

The OP thinks her husband has every right to sleep through the night because he works. Isn't it likely that the neighbour works as well? She may well be going to work performing surgery on people with only a few hours of sleep. She may be driving a heavy vehicle. She might be trying to teach a class of 30 kids. Regardless of what she is doing, she does have the right to a full night's sleep, not being woken up by a completely preventable noise.

ijustwannadance · 08/12/2015 23:27

Try putting pump on a table in your sitting room, switching it on then going downstairs to room directly underneath. See if you can hear it vibrate. As already said, noise can be very different in another room.
My DP has a wireless speaker to listen to radio and music. When in the kitchen it sounds normal, when upstairs all you get is the base pounding.
Used to live in a ground floor flat. When twats on 4th floor played music the noise travelled down the walls and was amplified.
I'm also an insomniac who wakes up at the slightest noise. Once woken from that first deep sleep there is fuck all chance of me drifting off for hours, if at all. To be your neighbour at the mo would be torture.

Bet neighbour can't have catch up naps in the day like you.

Hangingbasket14 · 08/12/2015 23:30

A normal response to the question from the neighbour would be 'oh shit, so sorry it's waking you up, I will try to wrap it in a towel to muffle it tonight (or similar) and check if that's helped'. Getting your knickers in a twist about whether said neighbour is entitled to question the noise is not!!