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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Downstairs neighbour complaining about my breastpump, AIBU not to change rooms at night?

733 replies

Cealee · 08/12/2015 17:11

Just bought a new powerful pump as I'm exclusively expressing. We live in a flat that's split over 2 levels so our bedroom is on 1st floor, our lounge upstairs on 2nd floor. Our neighbour (on ground floor) caught me in hall to ask what the 'mechanical noise' is that wakes her up Blush I explained its my breastpump and that I need to express at 11pm, 3am and 7am to maintain supply. She said it makes ceiling vibrate and is very loud (even though it's not on the floor it's on a cushion on my bedside table!) She asked me to do it upstairs. I explained this isn't practical as my DH wears earplugs so I need to be able to hear baby if he wakes. She suggested I take baby upstairs with me!! Why should I have to move my sleeping baby upstairs (and risk waking him) every time I express milk? He's just started sleeping through and got used to his cot. And there's no way I'm going to move cot upstairs and sleep on sofa for the next 8months Angry

AIBU to think it's rude to tell someone not to express milk in their own bedroom? It's not like I'm playing loud music! I don't see why neighbour can't just get some earplugs!

OP posts:
TaliZorah · 08/12/2015 21:27

Super exactly. DS was on a ventilator when he was born. THAT is medical equipment. Not a fucking breast pump

Sharon I'm nasty for saying you shouldn't moan about something you chose to do? Lol k

Hangingbasket14 · 08/12/2015 21:29

Yabvu and very, very precious. Literally millions of people have babies/have to express milk/have husbands who have to get up at 6am (which incidentally isn't particularly early) and most get on with it with minimal disruption to others. We live in a semi, if DC's were massively kicking off at night we would take them downstairs to minimise distuption to our nighbours, that is what normal people do, it's common courtesy and common sense to most people. And as for comparing a breast pump to 'medical equipment', get over yourself OP.

LadySilvia · 08/12/2015 21:33

Tali I was sympathising, not whining. I'll be forever grateful I could eventually bf DS2 so it was worth it. My choice. Judging someone for doing what they believe is best for their child just isn't on. I hope you can understand that. Sorry to derail, OP.

TaliZorah · 08/12/2015 21:35

Lady if you weren't moaning then fair enough it just came over as a ITS SO HARD FOR ME BECAUSE I HAVE TO EXPRESS thing, which when used as justification for disturbing someone, is bullshit because you don't HAVE to.

solidarityplease · 08/12/2015 21:36

Get yourself a manual pump.

No noise (unless you count the occasional squeak of plastic against rubber) and the added bonus of unusually strong hands.
Everyone's a winner.

I speak from experience Smile

EElisavetaOfBelsornia · 08/12/2015 21:36

It's pretty obvious Tali that OP is choosing the harder route because she wants her baby to have all the benefits of breast milk. She's not moaning about that, but must be exhausted by it. I sympathise with both of those things.

Sharoncatastrophe · 08/12/2015 21:43

Felloffmyunicorn milk supply is stimulated by demand. The baby demands it and the pump demands it which keeps up supply. However the pump is nowhere near as efficient at extracting milk as the baby is so it demands less. So if you're pumping it's very important you keep regular pumping, for longer and often more frequently than you would feed a baby, or supply will drop.

TaliZorah · 08/12/2015 21:45

But surely OPs baby would benefit from a happy, well rested mum. Looking at it practically it's not great for her baby to have a sleep deprived mum.

Obviously it's her choice, and breastfeeding is great but people get too hung up and ideological about it. Her baby would be fine if she didn't pump for example.

But that's not what the threads about, if she IS going to do it every 4 hours she should be considerate

Sharoncatastrophe · 08/12/2015 21:49

Tali You didn't say people shouldn't main about what they choose to do. You said disappointed was a fool for continuing to express BM for her baby.

Don't try and pretend now that you didn't

sweetsomethings · 08/12/2015 21:49

I agree it's about not letting the poor neighbour get a proper block of sleep. The op is up during the night but says she has naps during the day and her husband sleeps all night. It's only her not getting sleep and it's not even her baby

TaliZorah · 08/12/2015 21:50

Sharon because she was moaning about it. More fool you if you do something unnecessary that you dislike

AndNowItsSeven · 08/12/2015 21:52

Yanbu neighbour needs to buy some earplugs. You are perfectly entitled to use a breast pump in your own bedroom. I am shocked at some of the responses.

AndNowItsSeven · 08/12/2015 21:52

Buy neighbour some boots muffles ear plugs.

Sharoncatastrophe · 08/12/2015 21:54

"But surely OPs baby would benefit from a happy, well rested mum. Looking at it practically it's not great for her baby to have a sleep deprived mum.

Obviously it's her choice, and breastfeeding is great but people get too hung up and ideological about it. Her baby would be fine if she didn't pump for example.

But that's not what the threads about, if she IS going to do it every 4 hours she should be considerate"

Her baby would be fine if she didn't pump every 4 hours. However she may not, it may cause mastitis or discomfort, and it may cause her supply to drop. How hard is that to understand?
You're coming across as quite anti breastfeeding now

TaliZorah · 08/12/2015 21:57

Sharon I'm not antibreastfeeding. Breastfeeding is awesome, it's not however the most important thing ever like some on this thread seems to think.

She'll have to stop feeding at some point so the mastitis comment isn't really relevant

juicynectarines · 08/12/2015 21:59

I cannot believe the OP on this one. OP it is YOIR baby, not your neighbours. You can't expect your neighbour to be this put out because you chose to have a baby. Actually shocked people think like you. I'd be mortified if I woke my neighbours - even just once! ShockShockShockShock

trixymalixy · 08/12/2015 22:02

OP you are clearly exhausted. But think about your poor neighbour who is unnecessarily up at night for the same amount of time you are because of the noise you are making. It's very unfair on them when there is an easy solution for you to take the pump into another room. YABU.

Penfold007 · 08/12/2015 22:04

I'm stunned that your DH, with earplugs sleeps through, neighbour is woken yet baby sleeps through!

Tomorrow, when it is quiet, start up the pump, go downstairs and listen. Could you cope with that noise night after night?

SuperFlyHigh · 08/12/2015 22:06

juicy hate to derail but my NDN weren't mortified when their baby of about 6-9 months old woke me several times during the night over the course of ooh 4-5 months, 3 x a night at some points... I didn't ask or tell them outright as it was a baby and I didn't want to be tactless...

But when I heard it was controlled crying they were using (and the mum confided in me it wasn't working for them...!). He was also most likely not sleeping well as he was lactose intolerant which they found out at the same time.

They were sheepish when they found I had moved into my box room the other side of my maisonette flat and they even apologised and now they do pick him up and go into his room when he cries (he's 20 months now).

But even then, it was a baby crying and I knew it would end at some point.

Havetohaveanewchufffingaccount · 08/12/2015 22:07

Have you tried to hand express using your hands op. I express fed my dd until she was 15 weeks and by hand expressing I found it quiet in the night and I use to empty quicker.

goodnessgraciousgoudaoriginal · 08/12/2015 22:09

Yeah, you're being a twat about it.

There are actually plenty of compromises possible, but if you can't even be bothered to think of a single one then what's the point.

Sharoncatastrophe · 08/12/2015 22:11

Tali you don't know much about breastfeeding do you? Probably best to stop guessing about what is and isn't relevant

MidniteScribbler · 08/12/2015 22:14

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TaliZorah · 08/12/2015 22:22

Sharon I know plenty thanks. When I gave up, I was advised to just stop the feeds and ride out the discomfort rather than express as that would prolong it.

No idea why you and others are getting shirty that not everyone thinks breastfeeding is a miracle cure all