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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask that if you are thinking of getting a pet, to read this first

96 replies

coffeeisnectar · 08/12/2015 14:25

I want people to properly research everything about an animals needs, life expectancy, behaviour and costs as well as no such time is needed before getting anything.

This month I have taken on another cat (our third) because it's owners now have a baby. She is not the only one, I know someone else trying to get rid of their cat as they now have a baby. I could scream.

Animals are expensive, a lifelong commitment and not some toy to play with until you get bored, have a baby or just can't be bothered any more.

OP posts:
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winterswan · 08/12/2015 14:28

I agree, but any post that mentions cats or dogs doing mildly irritating things will be inundated with advice to rehome.

MidnightVelvetthe4th · 08/12/2015 14:39

Yep I agree with you OP, I'm on a FB pet selling page (its great for missing & lost pets) & dogs & cats go up for sale or for free because someone is pregnant or just had a baby or haven't trained the dog & now can't cope with its behaviour! Usually the same breeds over & over again.

People also just breed their pets regardless, reasons I've seen are that the owners want to give the dogs 'the experience', they do not have the time or money to neuter their cats so every month there are hundreds of kittens for £10 or for free.

These posts are usually accompanied by comments such as 'needs gone'. Its heartbreaking!

DawnOfTheDoggers · 08/12/2015 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
coffeeisnectar · 08/12/2015 15:02

Please tell me people aren't buying shetlands!

My dd wanted a rabbit so we did the rabbit workshop at pets at home and she was shocked at the costs and how often it would need fed, varieties of food, nail clipping, time with it etc. She's not so keen now. I know a couple of people who just bought rabbits for their kids and now the poor things sit on their own in a hutch, never taken out or played with, not looked after and its so sad.

OP posts:
IceBeing · 08/12/2015 15:07

Okay my DD really wants a pet....so what would anyone advise? We don't have space for a dog (also I hate them), I am allergic to cats. I would like to get a fish but DD wants a pet she can play with.

I am uncertain having looking into various rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs that any of these animals actually like to engage with humans. I have heard it is possible that rats do?

DD is against the idea of rats primarily because they only live for 3 years. But to be honest I see this is a good way to test out pet ownership, or rather a better way than getting an animal that could like to 18 like a cat or dog.

CantSee4Looking · 08/12/2015 15:08

Ds hates me because I refuse to let him have a pet because of lifestyle. Anyone who is out of the house up to 20hrs a day at short notice has no business having a pet it is just not fair to the animal. Even with a dog walker coming in it would not be fair. So I suck up my mean up status and let him rant it out of his system when he needs to before suggesting he asks his dad about getting a pet at his dad's house His dad has said no simply because he cba to look after it when ds is not there during term time but they have compromised on fish there.

CantSee4Looking · 08/12/2015 15:09

*mean mum status

Original poster
coffeeisnectar · 08/12/2015 15:16

A fish is not just a fish. It's a tank, heater, filter, plants, testing water, endless water changes and cleaning. It's lovely having a tank (we have two) but it's high maintenance as they poo and it makes the water toxic if you don't have a filter so it really is another huge commitment.

We had gerbils, one of mine lived for 7 years. I'd recommend a fish tank rather than a cage, so they don't kick sawdust out when burrowing, then you can put in lots of tubes, boxes and bedding for them to play in etc. If you handle them daily and from a young age they make good pets but they need to be cleaned out weekly, water daily and food daily though they like to hide it away from their bowl.

I'd definitely do the small furries workshop if you are seriously considering it.

OP posts:
Girlwhowearsglasses · 08/12/2015 15:22

Our cat is much less trouble Han the bloody fish tank - smelly, cleaning up, finding dead fish in the morning, humming noise of tank, etc. no thanks

letsgetcake · 08/12/2015 15:31

I agree making sure a pet is able to be looked after for life. Ive still got the same horse after 15 years of ownership (I got her when I was ish) despite me going to uni (she came, I had to work 3 jobs but worth it!) and now in a full time job with a child. I think you adapt your life round them. I do however find pets great for my ds as it teaches him responsibility and that sometimes he isn't priority. I think I helps with him being an only child. So I do think they have there place as long as you are willing to commit and adapt. I hate people who give them up due to a life change.
Saying that I would rather someone gave up pet if they weren't coping rather then struggling and not getting adequate vet or nutritional care!

IceBeing · 08/12/2015 15:35

okay fish are out too!

what is a furries workshop?

FattyFishwife · 08/12/2015 15:36

I quite agree coffee

Im a reptile fan, and it grinds my gears when people ask me to take in their unwanted reptiles with the excuse that....'ive discovered im allergic to them' You cant be allergic to reptiles, as they dont shed hair/fur/feather or dander like other animals....or work commitments (they dont need exercise or a lot of time, and dont take masses of upkeep in terms of time of energy!)

most people wont admit they (or the kids) have lost interest, didnt realise they lived so long (10-15 years for lizards, 15-25 years for snakes, 2-10 years for tarantulas) or havent researched them properly and cant afford the right set up.

Hence we have 7 bearded dragons, 6 of which came to us as unwanted, 2 leopard geckos (2 unwanted), 27 snakes (at least 3/4 of them unwanted), as well as an unwanted Blue tongued skink, 2 unwanted tarantulas, and unwanted baby scorpion, 2 unwanted iguanas (one of which was thrown into a skip when his owners emigrated, and an unwanted bosc monitor lizard.

such a shame some people dont think a pet is a commitment for the WHOLE of its life and use it as a disposable commodity :(

we also have 2 dogs that came from rescues too!

IceBeing · 08/12/2015 15:38

Also ruling out reptiles because DH has a phobia of snakes and they live to long.

This does seem to leave mice and rats....possibly gerbils? or degus? whatever they are....

QforCucumber · 08/12/2015 15:40

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and get so angry lately when people (MIL grr) have started asking 'what will you do with the cats when the baby comes?'

Christina22xx · 08/12/2015 15:43

this pisses me off too with people who dont think when they get pets, my cat had a kittens and i stupidly gave one to an irresponsible friend who was never in and never got her fixed or anything, her bf used to kidnap the cat to piss her off as well, i actually fell out with her over it, really pissed me off cause i was reluctant to give the cat to her and told her why and she promised she will look after the cat and it was for her daughter.
Apparently she ran away, i like to think she found a good person to take her in.
I have had my cat since she was 6weeks, shes 6years now. I will never give her up. Shes like my child.

CantSee4Looking · 08/12/2015 15:48

Degus require a very specialist diet as they are prone to diabetes. But if you do the research well they are apparently ok.

TheBunnyOfDoom · 08/12/2015 15:48

Agreed!

And I hate it when people adopt kittens or puppies and think they're so cute, and then get bored with them as they get older and less playful and more expensive.

Get insurance and remember a pet is a commitment for LIFE. You don't get to dump them because you're bored or they're not cute anymore or because you don't like cleaning up their poo. We got our cats from a friend who couldn't be bothered with them and as soon as they came to us and got treated properly, the change in their personalities was incredible.

Be kind to your pets. They rely on you.

weeblueberry · 08/12/2015 15:51

I completely agree but had a tricky situation when our baby was born. The cats were seriously stressed and hated her. It wasn't fun for anyone and I'd made a full commitment to the animals so didn't give them up. But during their period of adjustment they were extremely unhappy and we did consider whether keeping them was in their best interests.

susurration · 08/12/2015 15:56

Definitely YANBU. It makes me so mad when people get rid of their pets when they have a baby or they lose interest.

Icebeing, have a look at your local Pets at home for their small animals workshops. They show you how to handle and care for your pets. In reality all pets are work.

We had a hamster for a few years and I adored her but she still took some work to look after. Admittedly during the day it wasn't a problem being out at work or worrying about her ruining the house etc. But we had to clean out her cage every week, interact with her every night (every other night when she was much older, she got too tired) make sure the house was a sustained temperature so she didn't start hibernating OR suffer from heat exhaustion. We had to take her to the vets six times in two and a half years with some sort of tummy infection, which cost £27 a time for antibiotics. Also we had to plan our holidays around finding someone to look after her for the week we were away meaning that all holidays had to be planned with a stop off where our parents live, roughly three hours away from where we are.

In some ways our cat is a little easier as she can go to the cattery down the road but the hamster and cat were on a fairly even pegging in terms of time and energy.

Original poster
coffeeisnectar · 08/12/2015 16:01

Degus are brilliant, can be homed in groups but do need care with food.

The small furries workshop is run by pets at home. They give you all the info on what you need to buy, what the animal needs in yet'm s of duet, care etc. Have a look on their website and you can book for free.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 08/12/2015 16:06

Our old cat lives until 19. At the end she was costing us £60 a month in pills alone! We also had her son. He developed a vile kind of cancer in his gut and had diarrhoea all over the house.
You can never just go away. They are bloody expensive. If you aren't prepared for that then get a pet rock.
Then the buggers go and die and you are devastated!
Our two kittens are a real handful. I want a dog next. I have spent months researching and reading up on training etc. (not that I won't still get it wrong!)
My life is made harder but immeasurably better by my pets.

Wolfiefan · 08/12/2015 16:07

Can't see and others who can't get a pet of their own what about volunteering for the Cinnamon Trust?

MadHattersWineParty · 08/12/2015 16:08

I long for a pet but just can't make it work with the hours we are out of the house, and we're not in a sound enough position financially yet. I still have pets that live with my parents.

Only time we've had to rehome one was when we took in a beautiful long haired tabby that was living in our shed. We tried to find his owner but no one came forward. We loved him but unfortunately the cat we already had just wouldn't accept him and became stressed. So we were trying to find a new home for him when one day we got a call from this woman saying she just had to come and look at him as it sounded just like her cat, that she thought she had buried after she found it dead in a country lane.

She came to see him and cried and cried and he answered to his old name too, which was obviously not what we'd been calling him, and she arranged to come and get him at the weekend. On the day we got a call saying she couldn't have him back as it was too weird as she'd already grieved for him and had moved I emotionally! Was so strange.

We did find him a great new home, and we really missed him.

IrianofWay · 08/12/2015 16:11

Who mentioned rats? They are lovely pets - affectionate and lively. But get more than one. Males are more laidback than females. However they need to be cleaned often as the cages get a bit whiffy! And they love attention and time out of the cage.

Other downside is they don't live that long - and everytime it broke my heart Sad

MadHattersWineParty · 08/12/2015 16:14

I think budgies are underrated Grin they're not just for old people! Mine lives back home and I miss him, he's been my little buddy for 9 years now, and was already three when I got him. I got him a mate when I left so he wasn't lonely. She's rather standoffish actually but he loves her!