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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask that if you are thinking of getting a pet, to read this first

96 replies

coffeeisnectar · 08/12/2015 14:25

I want people to properly research everything about an animals needs, life expectancy, behaviour and costs as well as no such time is needed before getting anything.

This month I have taken on another cat (our third) because it's owners now have a baby. She is not the only one, I know someone else trying to get rid of their cat as they now have a baby. I could scream.

Animals are expensive, a lifelong commitment and not some toy to play with until you get bored, have a baby or just can't be bothered any more.

OP posts:
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Perfectlypurple · 08/12/2015 17:37

I agree. We would love to get a dog. We could afford it, and all the costs associated with it, nut we wouldn't be able to put in the time to train it, or be home enough for a dog to not get bored. We both work shifts and there are times when we are both out of the house for 10 hours or more. I would not be willing to leave a dog home alone regularly for more than 3 or 4 hours.

It makes me mad when I see threads on here about their neighbours moaning about how the ops dog barking incessantly. No bloody wonder if it is home on its own all the flipping time.

Boomerangs · 08/12/2015 17:37

Ice being I would recommend Degus for kids 6 years + they are very social I used to work at PAH and they are what j would recommend but only if you have room for a big big cage look on Zooplus they have excellent cages very large and great value the cage they will recommend at PAH is ridiculously priced and way to small. If you don't have room for such s large cage get a gerbil. Both Degus and gerbils should be in groups of at least 2

Original poster
coffeeisnectar · 08/12/2015 17:39

There's some brilliant information about lots of animals on here. I really hope it helps people understand more about the huge commitment that pets are and I'm in awe at the number of reptiles one of the posters has. That's incredible and a huge amount of animals to be caring for.

I love snakes and lizards but don't know how to care for them so I stick to our fish and cats. I adore my cats and would keep taking in unwanted pets but that wouldn't be fair on our existing cats. The two we had are still adjusting to the interloper as it is!

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ElasticPants · 08/12/2015 17:49

DD has a pet tortoise. Once the set up is correct (special bulb costing an eye watering £68 Shock, sunbathing area heated to 32c) they are quite easy to keep, apart from having to bath them. We spot clean daily, and clean out the whole enclosure monthly.

We did stress to DD that it wouldn't be a short life pet, and Dave the tortoise will be going to college, Uni into the adult world with her.

lljkk · 08/12/2015 17:53

Confused If people didn't rehome their animals then I wouldn't have had any pets in last 11 yrs. Animals that filled lives of DC with love & joy. Thank goodness for people who need to rehome pets.

Alfieisnoisy · 08/12/2015 18:23

Teary at the moment as a friend whose cat had died took in a stray last week. She was fine initially but then went downhill. This afternoon she has been pts as she had renal failure. She was severely underweight and had obviously been on the streets for a long time,..,another pet abandoned and not cared for.

My friend who wears his heart in his sleeve is in a right state tonight as in the week he had her he fell in love. After losing his last cat to cancer he was just about ready to take on another pet. Life is so unfair sometimes.

Have stressed to him that he made her last days happy and comfortable which is a wonderful thing. His heart is broken though.

Alfieisnoisy · 08/12/2015 18:27

If anyone gets a hamster I would recommend googling "hamster breeders" and your county. You will find someone who has handled the hamster kits from a very young age....they will come to you hand tame as a result.

Also add the biggest cage you can afford for the hamster.

Also you will pay less to a breeder than Pets At Home for your hand tame hamster.

I've had three Syrian hamsters...all came from breeders and all were very tame.

vestandknickers · 08/12/2015 18:35

I struggled with infertility for years and we had a cat as a surrogate baby. Blush We adored the cat and were very responsible owners.

We were eventually lucky enough to have a baby. Unfortunately the cat was totally freaked out by the sound the baby crying and him. Fortunately no serious damage done, but we had to re-home the cat. It was that or re-home the baby and I think that would have been frowned on!

On paper it possibly looked as if we just couldn't be bothered with the cat after the arrival of the baby.

What I'm saying is that unless you know the full story of why the cat had to be re-homed perhaps you shouldn't judge.

toboldlygo · 08/12/2015 18:40

Can I add to this by asking that people consider where their pets are coming from if/when they do make the decision to take them on?

As well as the scummiest puppy farms there are now well-meaning but clueless hobby breeders and money-grabbing backyard breeders all vying for business on Preloved, Pets4Homes etc. and the consequences for the health and welfare of dogs are just awful.

toboldlygo · 08/12/2015 18:42

Sorry, I ought to have added that I assume the same goes for small furries and cats, it's just that my experience is in dogs! I think it's already been touched on re: Pets at Home buying in from large volume producers etc.

Aposey · 08/12/2015 18:54

I find it extraordinary that people get pets without thinking about what it will mean in the years to come. I have inherited a cat who could be seen as a grumpy old sod but I would never leave him. He was our family cat and I am responsible now for him for the rest of his life!

Icebeing I know that initially the costs and time needed to set up a good aquarium is a lot, but I would recommend looking into dwarf pufferfish. They are tiny so you dont need a huge tank and they have a surprising amount of character- they will learn to eat snails from your fingers Smile Once set up they need no more upkeep than rodents, but dont squeak! I may be biased though, had them for years in a house I wasnt allowed other pets in.

OMGBabyNo3 · 08/12/2015 19:06

I had a baby 12 weeks ago. I have two cats. The baby was my third and a complete surprise. We got the cats when my other two children were 5 and 8. I didn't know I was supposed to get rid of the cats now I have a baby again Xmas Hmm

Alfieisnoisy · 08/12/2015 19:17

vest on that occasion you acted in the best interests of the cat and I don't think anyone should be judging you for that.

It's more the people who advertise on the FB selling pages with "need gone today" that wind me up. You can never know in advance how a cat/dog will cope with a new baby in the house....most will be fine but some will not and on those occasions re-homing the cat to a quiet and child free home is a kind act.

NigelLikesSalad · 08/12/2015 19:19

I was surprised when we had DS when a friend told me we should probably send our dog away for a few weeks. A friend of hers works with dogs and that is what she did apparently because it's not fair on the poor dog. Ok, so I'll just shove the dog in kennels for six weeks while the baby takes over the dogs house then reintroduce the dog into the new pecking order.....hmm not sure what work her friend did but she clearly knows naff all about dogs or has any respect for them. Dogs and babies are fine if you have boundaries and well trained/socialised dogs. In fact, they're a joy. Not a pain. They're also great to have around when baby starts weaning and everything ends up on the floor.....saves on hoovering

Alisvolatpropiis · 08/12/2015 19:22

Yanbu.

It really frustrates me that people get pets of any sort with doing research in to care.

A fair few people asked me if I was going to rehome my dogs when I was pregnant. No!

ouryve · 08/12/2015 19:22

I'm always Hmm that PAH sell roborowski hamsters as pets. Yes, they look extremely cute, but they're impossible to handle.

MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain · 08/12/2015 19:31

Another vote for rats here! Though I would also add, it's worth paying that little extra and getting them from a breeder - pet shop rats can be very unhealthy (and often very socialized) and are bred in situations not unlike puppy farms. My last two were from a pet shop (I know, but my son was distraught at the loss of the last one, who was a rescue) and were both very sickly throughout. My current two were from an NFRS registered breeder, and are so much healthier.

to ask that if you are thinking of getting a pet, to read this first
StrangeLookingParasite · 08/12/2015 19:31

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and get so angry lately when people (MIL grr) have started asking 'what will you do with the cats when the baby comes?'

This happened to us, too, drove me bonkers! We had our two before R was born, and they were very protective of him when he was tiny. It's so good for children to grow up (properly supervised, obvs) wth animals. My old cat lived until she was nearly 19. We said we wouldn't get more cats becaise we were thinking about moving overseas. This lasted two months. We did move overseas, so just flew them over (that was a bit pricy, but no question of not). They make me happy every day.

to ask that if you are thinking of getting a pet, to read this first
MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain · 08/12/2015 19:34

Sorry, last message should read very unsocialized!

Flossieflower01 · 08/12/2015 19:45

Giant African Land Snails make great pets. Very low cost (tank, veg, fruit, cuttlefish for calcium, compost), don't make much mess, easy to handle, quite happy to be left if you go away for the weekend! And no fur or feathers so good for people with allergies. You can buy them cheaply on eBay and they come in several colours- you just need to make sure that you crush the regular batches of eggs if you have more than one or you quickly end up with hundreds of them.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 08/12/2015 21:43

We got our Rescue cat in 1990 (as a 2yo)
We had DS in 1999 (so The Cat was 11yo when DS came along, she was very judgey)

When I not only failed to wean and rehome DS when he was 6 weeks old and still cute, she was horrified at my lax parenting....... I had another one Shock

The cat was an elderly lady of 17yo when she had to be PTS.
She tolerated the DC, I wore gloves and took all the precautions adviced.
But I had loads of "are you re-homing The Cat? " too.

MidniteScribbler · 08/12/2015 21:51

I'm 27 weeks pregnant and get so angry lately when people (MIL grr) have started asking 'what will you do with the cats when the baby comes?'

I had that too, but it was with my dogs. The health nurse even came over for her visit a week after he was born and saw the six two day old puppies in the litter box in the kitchen and freaked out and said 'they'll maul him to death, you've got to get rid of them!'. Umm, no they won't. They don't have teeth yet, and they can't see and hear. I think he's safe for a while.

I've currently got a dog back here that I bred. Her owner's have decided that now that the kids are a bit older they don't need a dog anymore as they've 'got other things to do'. The dog is 8 years old. I'm furious at them.

Fortunately, I have a lovely lady that lives by the beach, has lost her husband and wants a dog that will go for a walk in the morning and curl up on the porch with her all afternoon while she reads. I think they'll be a perfect match.

MeadowHay · 08/12/2015 22:13

Guinea pigs can make great pets for children if a supportive parent is willing to take responsibility too. They don't tend to like spending ages being handled, but as long as you do it regularly you can build up their confidence and mine will quite happily sit now for a 20 minute cuddle on my lap. They are also super entertaining! Very vocal, inquisitive, intelligent, love to explore new places and investigate new objects in their cage etc. Most of my enjoyment of them is probably just from sitting watching them! However, they are not cheap, the entire cage needs cleaning quite often and they poo A LOT (I spot clean every day, and do a full cage clean every 4 days), male guinea pigs need their (really gross) private areas cleaned every now and then, and they can get a bit wiffy especially in the summer (but nothing the odd bath won't solve). If you could handle all of that, would reccommend adopting a pair of piggies from a rescue. :)

BarbarianMum · 08/12/2015 22:14

We have tortoises that we adopted when their previous owner got bored. They're great for our family - hypoallegenic, cheap to feed, provide surprising amounts of interaction and affection but also don't need hours of care and companionship. Also they are very long lived (I hate getting attached to things that die within a few years).
Having said that, they aren't really pets for beginners. They have quite specific dietry requirements, specific hibernation requirements (not that mine will settle at the moment as too warm) and need much, much more space and levels of physical challenge then I'd ever have imagined. Id envisaged them in a tortoise table with a run for the summer but the reality is they have free run of the downstairs early spring and autumn (tortoise table to sleep) and I've had to tortoise proof the garden for spring/summer and put in a huge rockery and herbaceous beds to provide interest for them. And they're incontinent and they can both burrow and climb and move surprisingly fast when warm. Oh and the males are randy as hell which isn't what people expect. Great little personalities though, got one mountaineering over the kids Kapla creations as I type.

Original poster
coffeeisnectar · 08/12/2015 22:20

:o at the judgey cat!! So very cat like.

I'm loving all these posts, not just that everyone seems to be in agreement but I am learning a lot about animals I've never had. Who knew tortoises basically need an assault course!

OP posts: