New nursery expects all potential pupils be potty trained, even the 2 year olds.

[FundraisingPTABitch]

That's it really. I'm new to this part of town, and so is this nursery.

When I enquired with the admin about this policy, they said every potential pupil must be potty trained.

AIBU to think this nursery can just fuck off? I will potty train my little child when both the child and I are both ready.

Ludicrous. Irresponsible! Elitist!

there are 1600 children who start school in nappies, just over one per school

One per what school? There are many many more than 1600 schools in the country. There is more than 1 child with SN in each intake. What nonsense set of figures is this?

Tneconni
Doctors don't investigate incontinence until a child is 4, by which time they start school in most areas.
There is no way of knowing why a child isn't potty trained, unless you are suggesting discriminating based on the family?

I agree SweetAdeline

No 2 was the common age. My 3.5 was in reference to a specific child.

jason your link failed, therefore can't read it.
If nothing has changed then what is the problem?

I don't think I'm delusional because I can remember being at nursery, and can remember things about my siblings. And have an interest in old childcare books and own several (including my mother's 1950s Illingworth and Illingworth). Now, that's not a representative sample in terms of achievement, but I don't think there's any reason to assume that my DMum was an outlier in terms of expectations. Or that we were unusually physically advanced.

Yes, the 'norma'l age was around two. Yes it was both achievable and achieved. Yes toilet timing was a recognised phenomenon then too. Yes, it was always considered a process whereby habits were instilled leading to reliability. The difference between levels of habit v voluntary control was not considered as important as being reliably dry/clean, by themselves with free access to a loo/potty.

But isn't that what toilet training is? You take off their nappy, show them what to do, encourage them to do so then remind them to do it! I don't see why having to remind them to go is a bad thing.

It isn't Lillian but some parents gets books on how to potty train in a week and make it a pressured thing. They will change 5-6 pairs of trousers and pants a day!

Personally I don't 'train' like that but I would remind them to go to the toilet and encourage of course. I think there's a difference between encouraging and nagging a tot that isn't ready

If nothing has changed then what is the problem?

I thought it was a sad thread.

I was potty trained at around 2.5 in the age of cloth nappies. Not all kids were potty trained by 23 months and 30 days old.

Children develop at different rates. My son was between 3 and 3.5 when he was potty trained (and he went to a nursery - not sure what social services would say about that if they consider it neglect not to have a trained 3.5 year old, I suspect there were rather more things going on in that example) and 4.5 before he was dry at night (so was I). A lot of the kids who are so-called trained at say 22 months old continue to have lots of accidents so they are not trained really.

And I can never understand why people shout poor parenting at everything. I have a friend whose first daughter was dry at 2, her second daughter was dry at 3. How is that down to poor parenting? Kids develop at different rates - and they have free will - they don't always do what their parents want them to do.

Nurseries have to accommodate special needs. I don't actually think not being trained at 2 years 1 day old is a special need, it seems normal, but I think this nursery needs to read the Equality Act.,

One per what school?

As i said they are starting school we can assume i mean primary schools. There are 16,884 primary schools, 1600 children starting in nappies (according to a daily mail artical)....

My maths is way off isn't it, i added an extra zero to the puple figure. It's far, FAR less that i thought.

Yes it is the smug ones on here whose toddlers were ready at 18 months old. I am sure back in the day, not all kids were potty trained at 2, I certainly wasen't ready. As I said, you can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink. You can try and train all you like, if a child is not cognitively and physically ready, then it will not work, the more pressure you put on the child, you are creating issues. Back in the day, wasen' this golden age, the way that children and people with disabilities were viewed and treated as not as favourable as it is now. My dd has ASD and goes to a fantastic ASD school, I dread to think what would happen to her, 40/50 years ago.

Even ds teacher at school nursery, said that he is just not ready, and that her son was ready and potty trained at 4, so don't stress. which I have been doing.

pupil*

So it's less than 1 in every 10 schools?
I think.

And I can never understand why people shout poor parenting at everything

I think the shouts were 'pampers conspiracy' (and maybe just a bit of 'parenting fashions')

Jasonandyawegunorts

I'm not suggesting there should be any discrimination. My post was referring to all those who were saying the nursery was discriminating under the Equalities/Disability Act. It's demeaning to compare the "discrimination" of this nursery against able bodied but not-yet-potty-trained children to the discrimination disabled adults and children face on a day-to-day basis.

I don't think anyone's saying poor parenting - just that it is possible for lots of children (and not completely impossible). What I don't get is people coming on here saying they are not trained if you have to remind them. I think at the start - especially if they are two, you do have to remind them - as you have to remind them to do many things at that age. Nor do I think the odd accident is a disaster - anymore than it's a disaster if a child knocks over their drink or spills their food (not a reason to continue spoon feeding or giving them a sippy cup). I don't think the odd accident is a reason to keep them in nappies - I think they are more likely to learn from that than in pull-ups or a disposable where they might not even know they've had an accident. Just to be clear, I'm not talking about kids who absolutely don't get it of which of course there are some, but lots of kids are more than capable if only they are given the chance. Anyway the OP has a choice - she doesn't have to send her dc this nursery. I just don't think the nursery is unreasonable having this stipulation and I'm sure they will be able to get some kids who can conform to it.

I worked in a nursery in the late 80s, many kids rarely had accidents at 2, but quite a few did, some of them 3-4 a day, ie almost all of their toileting went into their clothes. Schedules were stricter, everybody was plonked on a potty several times a day at the same time if they wanted/ needed to or not though. Nurseries as I know them now are a lot more free flow. It is true that none of them wore nappies so all could claim to be trained.

I still would argue that there would be a lot more two year olds "trained" if parents could no longer buy these pampers pull ups etc, it makes some parents lazy. I said some, not all and I speak from experience in having a DN who was not in knickers until 4.5, no special needs etc, just a mummy who said school could do it and kept her in pull ups.

The main difference is starting age at nursery, our local pre-school nursery takes children from the term after they turn 2 when my now 20 something year old started it was strictly for 3 terms starting the September after they turned 3 so my April born child was 3years 5 months when she started and was reliably dry however her sister is much younger and started the term after her 2nd birthday so was 2 years and 2 months and still in nappies. I haven't potty trained later with the younger one, that isn't the reason why she started in nappies when her sister didn't.

It isn't a problem if your child is ready, and actually in my experience of childcare (10+yrs with under 4s) a lot of children are ready at 2, but not all.

There are many cultural differences in approaching potty training as well. In some European countries potty training starts at 9 months, so those children tend to be completely dry by 2. But as other posters have said, I've also looked after children who were still in nappies at 3.

If the nursery policies don't suit your children then don't send them there

My mother (a midwife in the 1950s) says most children were trained at a year.

When I was young it was the done thing to have a child trained by two, it was what the midwives told you to do.

Incidentally a friend of mine from the Philippines trained her children by the time they were one because the cost of nappies was too high so financially they had no choice

Around the world, over 50 percent of babies are trained to use the toilet before the age of 12 months, according to Barton D. Schmitt, MD, in "Contemporary Pediatrics."