New nursery expects all potential pupils be potty trained, even the 2 year olds.

[FundraisingPTABitch]

That's it really. I'm new to this part of town, and so is this nursery.

When I enquired with the admin about this policy, they said every potential pupil must be potty trained.

AIBU to think this nursery can just fuck off? I will potty train my little child when both the child and I are both ready.

Ludicrous. Irresponsible! Elitist!

People who get their judgey pants in a twist over when a child under school age (and beyond if they have SN) learn how to go to the toilet need to get a grip.

Who honestly cares if my child did his shit in his potty or his nappy today? Should I be updating Facebook so friends and family can gossip about my TT or lack of?

Breastfeeding, attachment parenting, co-sleeping, and child led Toilet training what exactly are you concerned will happen to a child raised this way?

Wow, I haven't read all of the thread, not like me, but reading just some of Tampon's posts were akin to sticking my face into the crap filled nappy of a 2 year old, so I didn't feel like making it all the way through.

My mum worked in early years back when I was little (the good ol' 1970s, halcyon days of inclusion, equality of the races and sexes and....oh hang on) and we have talked before about this. She reminded me of the ginormous knicker cupboard that lived in our school corridor, where little 4/5 year olds were routinely stripped, cleaned up and changed because of the constant accidents. She said there were also the children who they would put in 'plastic pants' ( a kind of 'nappy lite') to contain the mess - she said they were very rank.

My ds started school in nappies, and will remain in nappies for a while, as he is disabled, and his low muscle tone and severe constipation means he lacks sensation, and 'push' - school have an adjustable changing table, as they have a large number of children with complex health needs. Fortunately his TAs and teachers treat him and the other children with the respect and dignity that all children deserve, regardless of the reason for needing changing.

I work in a preschool, and there are several children who will be starting school in September, who still need changing - some due to additional needs, or possible additional needs, some who are just taking a bit longer to learn, and some because of complex situations at home. As someone who is there to help support and guide them, it is not my place to pass judgement or make sneery comments - I treat them all in the way that I would want my children to be treated - with kindness, dignity and respect

Right off to read the rest of the thread

goddammit pirate i was watching homes under the hammer and just couldnt be bothered!

Yes, it's the BBC's fault really.

Have been trying to potty train 22 month old since 15 months, no way she'll be trained at 2y! She has a fear of going on potty and thinks it's wrong, very hard to crack. We'd be foofed if our nursery had that rule!

'I was potty trained by 13 months'
Of course you weren't.

My DSis and I were potty conditioned by twelve months. Only terry nappies were available and we lived in the tropics, nappy rash could take a grip between nappy changes. Our mum did because that's what she was told to do. DM with the benefit of hindsight freely admits it was conditioning and not training.

DC1 was dry and potty confident by 24 months, DC2 took a bit longer, I waited until they showed signs of being ready and DM said it was a much calmer process.

DC1's nursery insisted on children being potty trained before they would accept them, I would have delayed nursery if I had to rather than force the issue. OP this may not be the nursery for child.

Tampon Your mother may have ensured you were potty trained but she failed to teach you kindness, empathy, open mindedness and tact. A child who struggles with toilet training will eventually learn whereas people like you carry certain traits right into adulthood.

you can throw ITV into the mix as at fault too.and mumsnet. if I were not such a lazy bugger we could have saved nhs resources on the eneuresis clinic, gp visits, and paediatric consultants.

YANBU. Call your local Health Visiting service and let them know that they need to pay this nursery a visit. I am a teacher at a school nursery (3 year olds) and although the majority are potty trained, a few aren't. We offer advice to those who need help with it, but we do not push them to train their children unless we feel they are deliberately holding back a child who shows clear signs of being ready (we once had a child who would pull down their nappy, go to toilet and pull it back up again - Mum refused to believe us for the best part of a year!)

Please let someone know about this, poor parents and poor children jumping through pooey hoops just to go to this stuck up nursery.

aah yes if it wasent for the bbc and mumsnet [ spend far to much time on mumsnet] i could have toilet trained ds2 by now

When they are doing their GCSEs, nobody is going to ask how old they were when they had dry pants.

hazeyjane Thank god for people like you caring for our children. You really sound like someone who should be in the job.

If I were not such a lazy bugger we could have saved nhs resources on the eneuresis clinic, gp visits, and paediatric consultants.

You lazy sod, going to all those appointments!

Might also add here that back in the day (1971) when I was 5 I was regularly changed by the teacher as I was too scared to ask for the logo and used to sit there until nature decided enough was enough.

All children are different.

My son was toilet trained and out of nappies by the time he stRted school but only just as he is autistic. It took a while to get him dry and clean but we did it by the skin of our teeth.

At 13 he still wets the bed many nights though.

My mum always said you can toilet train a child before they are 3 and they'll be trained at 3, or you can toilet train when they are 3 and they'll be trained at 3. It was the magic at for all three of my boys. Tried at 2.5 with the twins and it was hideous - multiple accidents every day, loads of extra washing. Waited until much closer to 3 and they both literally trained over night; no stress, no hassle, they were just ready and it happened. Waited until just before 3 with the third and it was the same; toilet trained (including day sleeps - it's hot here so hard to train over night as he drinks so much water throughout the day) in a day or two. No accidents, no stress, a pleasurable experience for all of us as we really got to appreciate the milestone. I realise my mum's rule is a generalisation, but all year I have watched the toddlers in my littlest ones daycare room struggle with toilet training at 2. Loads of support needed from the teachers, quite stressful for the kids and it took forever for them to get it. I much prefer waiting until kids are ready (which could be before 2, 2-3, over 3 - whatever!) and it being a straightforward, stress free experience.

I'm surprised this is still an issue. Mine are teenagers now, and even when they were toddlers, as chair of the local pre-school we were required to change our policy to admit children in nappies, because of the potential for us to be seen as discriminatory, with possible legal consequences.

As far as I knew, every pre-school affiliated to the Pre-school learning Alliance had the same advice at that time (12-13 years ago) and certainly every setting within our local area changed its policy at that time.

I haven't read every page of this thread but really shocked some posters don't see this policy as discriminatory ! Of course the pre-school shouldn't have this policy, speak to ofsted and the pla. I visited a pres-school (used to be a private school but now only a pre-school, albeit a fairly 'posh' one with uniform etc though offer normal ey funding) with my dd and they refused to take her at just 2 because she couldn't walk. She has no additional needs now btw, was just slow at physical development in some areas. In fact they were incredulous that she couldn't walk at 2, spent quite some time laughing about the fact it would be impossible for her to start and made me feel so upset. I really wish I had complained at the time.

A quick Google finds this (from Hertfordshire, as it happens, but very similar to other advice I have seen):

"Any admission policy that sets a blanket standard of continence, or any other aspect of development, for all children is discriminatory and therefore unlawful under the Act. All such issues have to be dealt with on an individual basis and settings/schools are expected to make reasonable adjustments to meet the needs of each child."

(OP, if you are still here and are willing to post or PM your county / area, I can almost certainly find the appropriate document for you to quote to the nursery)

Katniss that's awful. And bonkers. All you can do is thank your lucky stars you saw that side before you sent her there.