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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New nursery expects all potential pupils be potty trained, even the 2 year olds.

472 replies

FundraisingPTABitch · 06/12/2015 22:14

That's it really. I'm new to this part of town, and so is this nursery.

When I enquired with the admin about this policy, they said every potential pupil must be potty trained.

AIBU to think this nursery can just fuck off? I will potty train my little child when both the child and I are both ready.

Ludicrous. Irresponsible! Elitist!

OP posts:
Alfieisnoisy · 07/12/2015 16:37

Tampon you also need a child who is developmentally ready to potty train...all the potties,manta and sweets in the world will make no difference if they are not.

Tamponlady · 07/12/2015 16:38

Just because their not in nappies a lot of Children are not in nappies but cannot get to the toilet regularly or have a accident free day or self care eg wipe their own Arse

Why should a teacher be wiping a child's poo Barr illness poster or regularly help change a child who is not dry

Jasonandyawegunorts · 07/12/2015 16:40

Would anyone like to join me in smashing my head against this fine brick wall?

I feel it may help us get down to a certain other posters level of ignorance.

Alfieisnoisy · 07/12/2015 16:40

I used to change a child regularly in Reception and Y1 as he had little control.

He also had quadriplegic cerebral palsy. None of the other children in a class of 39 were in nappies and I think it is rare.

honkinghaddock · 07/12/2015 16:42

Their were 4 children in nappies in my son's reception class. All had statements of sen by the end of reception.

x2boys · 07/12/2015 16:44

who are these children turning up to school in nappies? there is no way i could have got ds1 in nappies at 4or 5 he would have protested loudly as most typical children would and as for lazy parenting it is far easier having your child go to the toilet independently then having to change an older child most parent dont want to deal with shitty nappies after 3ish who in their right mind would? unfortunatley for those of us who have got children with disabillities thats just the way it is but it certainly isnt easy.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 07/12/2015 16:44

Their were 4 children in nappies in my son's reception class. All had statements of sen by the end of reception.

This highlights the importance of lettign children who are not potty trained into school. It's becuase of this that these childrens SEN were picked up on.

leedy · 07/12/2015 16:45

Are there really that many children still in nappies in primary school? All the kids in DS1's preschool were out of nappies well before they started. It's hardly an epidemic caused by lazy parenting (also didn't we have a thread about this before, where the consensus reached was that actually, no, schools were not full of children who weren't toilet trained).

x2boys · 07/12/2015 16:46

me jason we are going round and round in circles i could do with one of theseWine

witsender · 07/12/2015 16:46

If I remember rightly preschools have to accept un potty trained kids if they want to claim funding, as otherwise they are discriminating.

After much time in and around schools I have yet to meet a child in napoies full time in reception. Besides, being in nappies at 2 is perfectly normal, the two are unrelated.

tomatotoad · 07/12/2015 16:47

Many parents won't know whether their child has SN at age 2, 3 or even at 4.

It makes more sense to wait until the parent thinks the time is right, than to attempt to force children who aren't developmentally ready.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 07/12/2015 16:49

Are there really that many children still in nappies in primary school?

There is on average just under 1 child who starts in nappies for every 10 schools. So no not that many, most of these are children who later get diagnosed with a SN.

x2boys · 07/12/2015 16:51

as i said earlier there was one child who started reception in nappies at ds1 mainstream school last yr the first child ever apparently to start reception in nappies in the schools 50 yr history he also has a statement and global development delay.

Pyjamaramadrama · 07/12/2015 16:57

I see these threads from time to time and they're always the same.

Loads of insults thrown about lazy parents, and shite about loads of kids going to school in nappies.

Yes children probably did come out of nappies earlier in days gone by. Lots of them probably had lots of accidents too.

Years ago most women stayed at home so would have been in all day to sit their children on the toilet. These days lots of people work and have to try to fit toilet training into annual leave weeks.

It probably is much easier when the child is older and more willing and able to understand.

Ultimately though, who cares? What age you came out of nappies will have no bearing on the rest of your life.

Ds was 3.3 when he was dry in the day, 3.5 at night. Lots of the kids who were dry in the day much earlier are still bed wetting at age 7.

nagynolonger · 07/12/2015 17:08

One thing people do forget is DC do start school much earlier now. My older DC (mid 30s now) couldn't start school until the term after their 5th birthday. So no 4 year olds were in school anyway. There was no reception year just 1st year infants and 2nd year infants. This was rural county schools. DC may well have started a bit earlier in the bigger cities....they always seemed to get preferential treatment.

So it's not really surprising that every child was out of nappies.

EffieIsATrinket · 07/12/2015 17:09

Me too Jason.

It's not exactly a high-end, thought-provoking discussion.

nagynolonger · 07/12/2015 17:14

Another thing people have forgotten is that todays little ones do start school much earlier. My DC who are in their mid 30s started infant school the term after their 5th birthday and so even the very youngest Easter starters had turned 5. There was no such thing as a reception class just 1st and 2nd year infants.

I think some cities and larger towns took rising 5s but even they were not just 4.

blaeberry · 07/12/2015 17:26

Nurseries don't have to accept children in nappies because they won't get funding; they have to accept children in nappies because otherwise they will be breaking the law!

As an aside, in my experience co-sleeping, extended breast-feeding attachment parenting parents tend to be the ones using cloth nappies (including terry squares), not tumble drying them and possibly attempting elimination training.

But in the good old days your drank your bottle of formula mixed with rusk to help you sleep through the night, were left learn that crying had no affect, develop urinary frequency through poor toilet training (yes this was more common in the past with training too young), were put to sleep on your front, didn't wear seat belts in cars, had lead painted toys, got measles, were weaned at 10 weeks, and if you had an SN were excluded from statistics and society. Ahh yes, those were the good old days Hmm

blaeberry · 07/12/2015 17:26

Nurseries don't have to accept children in nappies because they won't get funding; they have to accept children in nappies because otherwise they will be breaking the law!

As an aside, in my experience co-sleeping, extended breast-feeding attachment parenting parents tend to be the ones using cloth nappies (including terry squares), not tumble drying them and possibly attempting elimination training.

But in the good old days your drank your bottle of formula mixed with rusk to help you sleep through the night, were left learn that crying had no affect, develop urinary frequency through poor toilet training (yes this was more common in the past with training too young), were put to sleep on your front, didn't wear seat belts in cars, had lead painted toys, got measles, were weaned at 10 weeks, and if you had an SN were excluded from statistics and society. Ahh yes, those were the good old days Hmm

blaeberry · 07/12/2015 17:26

Nurseries don't have to accept children in nappies because they won't get funding; they have to accept children in nappies because otherwise they will be breaking the law!

As an aside, in my experience co-sleeping, extended breast-feeding attachment parenting parents tend to be the ones using cloth nappies (including terry squares), not tumble drying them and possibly attempting elimination training.

But in the good old days your drank your bottle of formula mixed with rusk to help you sleep through the night, were left learn that crying had no affect, develop urinary frequency through poor toilet training (yes this was more common in the past with training too young), were put to sleep on your front, didn't wear seat belts in cars, had lead painted toys, got measles, were weaned at 10 weeks, and if you had an SN were excluded from statistics and society. Ahh yes, those were the good old days Hmm

nagynolonger · 07/12/2015 17:36

oops sorry about the near repeat....laptop seemed to lock itself!

DixieNormas · 07/12/2015 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amummyatlast · 07/12/2015 18:27

I'm in my 30s and my mum said that while I was potty trained by 13 months, my sister was 3. It was a bit of a shock to them that I got it so easily and my sister didn't.

My 2 yr 4 months DD is not potty trained. We've tried a few times, but she just holds it until we put a nappy on and I don't want her to get a uti though us forcing her when she's not ready. Her friends who are the same age are potty trained but are having regular accidents. I would rather wait.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/12/2015 18:29

Tampon you sound so lovely, you really do. I have been trying ds 3.10, since April to potty training, Ive tried rewards, social stories, shouting, taking toys away, still not getting it. What do you suggest I do, put him over my knee and give him a good hiding Hmm.

catkind · 07/12/2015 18:33

Nurseries don't have to accept children in nappies because they won't get funding; they have to accept children in nappies because otherwise they will be breaking the law!

How does that work with private schools being allowed to have entrance examinations? If they can refuse a child who can't draw a picture/speak eloquently surely they can refuse a child who isn't potty trained?

Not saying you're wrong necessarily, but I don't see the difference as far as undiagnosed SEN goes. I thought I had heard somewhere that privately funded nurseries/schools could do what they liked re admissions criteria.

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