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AIBU?

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Original poster

New nursery expects all potential pupils be potty trained, even the 2 year olds.

472 replies

FundraisingPTABitch · 06/12/2015 22:14

That's it really. I'm new to this part of town, and so is this nursery.

When I enquired with the admin about this policy, they said every potential pupil must be potty trained.

AIBU to think this nursery can just fuck off? I will potty train my little child when both the child and I are both ready.

Ludicrous. Irresponsible! Elitist!

OP posts:
Indantherene · 07/12/2015 13:12

DD1 is 29. She started playgroup at 2 y 3 m and had to be out of nappies. All the mums at Toddler Group were showing off their girls aged 18m to 2y already trained.

There was so much pressure on me to train her that I thought I had to. In reality she had no idea she needed to go until it happened.

We had wet and dirty pants every day. She stank. I got more and more stressed. Our relationship never recovered.Sad. She wasn't reliably dry until almost 4 and wet the bed regularly until 7.

DS1 at 2.5 said nappies were disgusting and just stopped wearing them day and night. Never had an accident.

We lived with my DM briefly when DD2 was 2y and 6m. I got no end of comments from DM and her many friends that she was too old for nappies. I ignored them. She was well over 3 before she finally trained but was dry overnight at the same time.

x2boys · 07/12/2015 13:14

Dingbats trust me its not easier to have a child in nappies then to take them to the toilet it really isn't and as they get older its gets harder rd will be six in may!

SweetAdeline · 07/12/2015 13:18

cleaty the nytimes article you linked earlier is just quoting the opinion of one "parenting expert". Not a urologist, or even a paediatrician. In fact they quote an actual paediatrician in the very same article who disagrees.

PirateJones · 07/12/2015 13:18

Ha ha, the people who think changing an older childs nappy is easy have never done it.

PirateJones · 07/12/2015 13:20

Try getting kicked in the face by a squirmy 7 year old who doesn't want to lay still, then tell me it's easier than them independently using the toilet.

cleaty · 07/12/2015 13:23

I have changed many older children's nappies. I have never been kicked in the face. The main problem is out and about that they no longer fit on changing tables.

x2boys · 07/12/2015 13:23

Grin Pirate or chasing an autistic five and half yr old as they want to jump on the bed but need changing

Lancelottie · 07/12/2015 13:25

Ooh. I can add a genuine 'early trainer' to this thread: my nephew was out of nappies from 6 months.

But he was raised by a terrifying Russian granny who was not having any of that 'infant helplessness' nonsense. There is also a photo somewhere of him stroking a tiger at the age of about 2, which makes me wonder quite what threats she used to get him into line.

Mine were (ahem) somewhat later to get the idea.

PirateJones · 07/12/2015 13:28

Ah, The art of changing ninja style while they are busy playing, so they don't notice.

PirateJones · 07/12/2015 13:31

I have changed many older children's nappies. I have never been kicked in the face.

That doesn't surprise me cleaty, You've already established that you have done it all and 10X better than everyone else.

honkinghaddock · 07/12/2015 13:37

I've been kicked and scratched whilst doing it. Rarely does this at school but they don't get him at the worst times of day.

x2boys · 07/12/2015 13:37

Xmas Grin Pirate

Aeroflotgirl · 07/12/2015 13:38

cleaty have you changed the nappies of a severely Autistic child yiu will probably get kicked in the face amongst other things.

Original poster
FundraisingPTABitch · 07/12/2015 13:40

@ lancelottie

so if he was out of diapers at 6 months, how did he signal that he needed to be held over a toilet?

is his last name now Putin? If so, I hear he also performs miracles.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 07/12/2015 13:45

pirate I totally agree. Every child is ready at 18 months.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/12/2015 13:50

According to cleaty, we have left it too late and have caused these problems. Nothing to suggest that toilet training coukd be developmental, like walking and talking, each child does it when they are cognitively and physically ready.

Lancelottie · 07/12/2015 13:52

No idea, my Russian isn't good enough to ask!

cleaty · 07/12/2015 13:58

Don't make things up. I have never said you or other parents have caused these problems.

I have also never said that I was perfect.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 07/12/2015 14:11

Don't make things up. I have never said you or other parents have caused these problems.

You've just used American statistics which have no relation to the UK at all to imply it.

You've still not shown any real rise in potty training age either. and I'm still trying to find out where this 1.8% of 4 year olds in nappies has gone... as only 0.2% seem to exist.

Jw35 · 07/12/2015 14:23

Common sense comes into this a lot. Take nappy off at home now and then and build up to wearing pants longer and longer.

ding cloth nappies might be good for saving the environment and cutting costs but in my opinion making a child uncomfortable so they want to take it off and use the toilet is only a good idea (possibly) if you think they're ready. Personally I can't stand the things. I certainly don't think a disposable nappy hinders normal development.

cleaty · 07/12/2015 14:24

There is lots of evidence that the age in potty training has risen. I have not said that is a problem, simply a fact. I also haven't said what the cause is, although other posters have hypothesised.

SweetAdeline · 07/12/2015 14:31

There is some suggestions in the articles on this, that later toilet training has led to more problems with children holding on, and thus higher rates of constipation and urinary tract infections. The reasoning is that if you leave it until they are 2 or 3 to start, you are far more likely at that age to get into a battle of wills, than you are with a younger child.

You said this up thread cleaty.

Jasonandyawegunorts · 07/12/2015 14:35

There is lots of evidence that the age in potty training has risen

so much so that you have not linked to anything relating to the UK.... Just a couple of US articals which i will repeat do not match the UK statistic so don't apply.

Anotherusername1 · 07/12/2015 14:38

Is anyone here bothered about the environmental impact of disposable nappies?

Yes and no. 97% of waste is caused by non-consumers, so I think it's for industry to get its house in order rather than making mothers (and it is the mothers) feel guilty about using disposable nappies. And I do not know if using lots of water and power to wash disposables is better than manufacturing disposable nappies. Where I live, non-recyclables are incinerated rather than going to landfill which raises it own issues. It is difficult to weigh up one environmental cost against another.

blaeberry · 07/12/2015 14:39

I am not that surprised a 6 month old Russian boy was trained not to require a nappy. If rural Africa they don't use nappies and I am pretty sure the women there don't spend their days covered in wee and shit as they carry their babies round. I also had a friend who did elimination training and never used a nappy on her dd. Elimination training and toilet timing are both very common practices for avoiding using nappies world wide. What they are not is being toilet trained which requires a child to reach a state of physical development that neither the Child or adult has any control over and is actually to some extent inherited.

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