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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have laughed at being told to have sex 3 times weekly for 18 weeks?

112 replies

Youcantscaremeihavechildren · 03/12/2015 22:50

Firstly apologies for tmi

DH is having the snip next week.

Told today he must ejaculate 3 times a week for 18 weeks afterwards.

Hes not partial to polishing the purple helmet (at least that's what he says, odd I know but he just isn't)

We've been together 12 years, got an 8 month old (lying on me, teething) who sleeps in with us and is currently giving us approx 2-3 hrs sleep at a time if we're lucky, a 5 yr old who gets up at 6 am. He's out of the house for over 12 hrs a day and I'm going back to work soon.
we're both shattered and whilst we'll, erm, give it our best shot, we did laugh.

I mean that's 54 times...that might take us nearly a year in normal circumstances, and that includes birthdays, anniversaries and xmas day Grin

So AIBU to think know they have very high expectations of people who've probably got several children already, given that is the reason for most men having the snip? He wasn't coerced at all no not a bit

OP posts:
LineyReborn · 03/12/2015 22:53

Who told you this?

Oysterbabe · 03/12/2015 22:53

Yabu. I think most men probably manage 3 times a week on their own even when they don't have to.

landrover · 03/12/2015 22:54

Ehmmm, I would tell him to get on with it on his own! :-)

foxessocks · 03/12/2015 22:54

Wow I never knew they have to do that! Well yanbu, I sort of know how you feel for different reasons as we're ttc number 2 and we have a nearly 2 year old and trying to have sex every other day is near on impossible! I do not know how people have second babies!

Anyway good luck with that - have fun!!

SummerHouse · 03/12/2015 22:54

Were you there when this three times a week yoke was raised? Sounds very suspicious to me. Magnified ten fold when accompanied with the "I don't like wanking" line. Grin

LineyReborn · 03/12/2015 22:54

Your thread title says sex but your post says ejaculate.

He'll just have to ejaculate.

landrover · 03/12/2015 22:54
Smile
BathtimeFunkster · 03/12/2015 22:54

Xmas day is a sex day??! Shock

[misses point of thread]

LineyReborn · 03/12/2015 22:56

Bloody hell I don't even see my OH on Xmas day!

SummerHouse · 03/12/2015 22:56

Xmas day is so NOT a sex day.

[Joins thread miss with enthusiasm]

OddSocksHighHeels · 03/12/2015 22:56

But you don't need to have sex, he just needs to ehaculate. He can do that himself even if he does find wanking a chore.

skankingpiglet · 03/12/2015 22:57

Wow, at the rate we're doing it at the moment, that's four YEARS worth! I think it might be wise to treat him to a tube of something slippery and a box of man-sized tissues. He's just going to have to take one for the team and embrace self-love! Grin
YANBU for laughing...

NameChange30 · 03/12/2015 22:59

"Polishing the purple helmet"?! Grin Not heard that one before!

I find it hard to believe they told him this, were you there or is he just reporting back?!

I think he is going to have to do some polishing by himself I'm afraid. Needs must an' all.

LaContessaDiPlump · 03/12/2015 22:59

Shock seriously op, DH had the snip 2 years ago and we have done it nowhere NEAR that much, yet he has had the all-clear.

I'm grateful we didn't have your DH's doctor tbh Grin

NameChange30 · 03/12/2015 23:00

PS Get him some porn for Christmas?!

Original poster
Youcantscaremeihavechildren · 03/12/2015 23:00

Hmm...I may have to check out this story...it was his pre op phone discussion with the nurse. I'd have loved to have been a fly on the wall, DH is very private and a bit uptight catholic actually I do remember reading something in the literature about 50 being some magic number. Who knew?

I really don't think he does sort himself out very often. It is odd.

We'll just have to get on with it then ^rolls up sleeves^

OP posts:
Dogsmom · 03/12/2015 23:00

My dh had the snip in May when dd2 was 12 weeks old, the doctor who performed it said he had to have "lots of sex" until his sample was due in September.
I told him he had a hand.

We did have sex once but the rest was all him and the sample did come back negative.

He reckons it looks different now, more watery and less of it.

NameChange30 · 03/12/2015 23:01

Ah, Catholic. Maybe he was taught that masterbation is a sin?

PegsPigs · 03/12/2015 23:02

DH had it a few weeks ago. I call it his tallywank. He's going to get to his 'target" by himself as DD 2 is 6 months old and not sleeping through. Sod having sex 3 times a week. I think we've managed that in the last year Grin

Original poster
Youcantscaremeihavechildren · 03/12/2015 23:02

Xmas day definitely is if you didn't get round buying him a present! or he had to spend the day with my family

OP posts:
Headmelt · 03/12/2015 23:03

Have sex as often as you please but use condoms until his two samples show snip was successful otherwise you might have more to worry about. I remember a thread on mn a while back when op had a pregnancy scare because they got carried away, never used condoms and her period was late. She never did come back to update

Original poster
Youcantscaremeihavechildren · 03/12/2015 23:03

Tallywank Grin love it.. actually dd does love making a sticker chart...

OP posts:
songbird · 03/12/2015 23:05

Ah pegs, you've made my day with 'tallywank'!

skankingpiglet · 03/12/2015 23:06

Grin Your DD doing a sticker chart, well I suppose it is family planning...

MummaV · 03/12/2015 23:06

I was reading up on it the other day and they do definitely need to ejaculate a certain amount of times to clear the tubes and ensure nothing is getting through once they are clear. Can't remember the number though.

But it is just that, ejaculate. He'll have to do it on his own. You just don't have the time! He'll also have to do it into pots for testing at least twice so he may as well get used to the self love now!