To have laughed at being told to have sex 3 times weekly for 18 weeks?

[Youcantscaremeihavechildren]

Firstly apologies for tmi

DH is having the snip next week.

Told today he must ejaculate 3 times a week for 18 weeks afterwards.

Hes not partial to polishing the purple helmet (at least that's what he says, odd I know but he just isn't)

We've been together 12 years, got an 8 month old (lying on me, teething) who sleeps in with us and is currently giving us approx 2-3 hrs sleep at a time if we're lucky, a 5 yr old who gets up at 6 am. He's out of the house for over 12 hrs a day and I'm going back to work soon.
we're both shattered and whilst we'll, erm, give it our best shot, we did laugh.

I mean that's 54 times...that might take us nearly a year in normal circumstances, and that includes birthdays, anniversaries and xmas day

So AIBU to think know they have very high expectations of people who've probably got several children already, given that is the reason for most men having the snip? He wasn't coerced at all no not a bit

That's what we are doing Emma but it's risky. I seem to react to condoms as well (am clearly intended for 85 children).

I'm loving that this thread has now caused Pete to be looking at dodgy eggs (the mind boggles, I've no idea what they're for..) and hilarious doctors names. Ive half a mind to show DH. I'm not happy about the everlasting supermarket stories either, the mini pill turned me into a right bastard and the mirena made me fat and a bastard, we both hate condoms...
Mind you it took two years to get DS so the chances are slim. Won't be risking it though, I'm old. I need my sleep.
I can imagine DH being strangely proud if his tubestate weren't clear after that long, even if he had met his quota..

Off to find smiley face stickers for our reward chart.

Pete? Where did he come from? People

http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/male-sex-toys/male-masturbators/

Go nuts OP!!

everlasting supermarket stories

OP, get him a fleshlight. It'll get you off the hook for some the effort to reach his wank tally.

"But I thought sperm only live a couple of days, how can some live for 6 months?"

Because the up to 5 days only refers to mature sperm once ejaculated. Sperm production is continuous, and once produced by the testes, the rise up to the ampullae where they wait to be mixed with the other components of semen for ejaculation. They can hang around pretty much indefinitely in the ampullae, which are the exit side of where the vas can be reached for standard vasectomy.

So it's a case of clearing the ampullae, which is a somewhat wriggly bit of tubing.

They can tell if it's a failed procedure if the number of sperm remains at the typical level. If it's sharply reduced but not gone, it means the operation was OK but the man is slow to clear. No-one knows why. And if it happens to you or yours, all you can do is wait it out.

Might convince my DH to have the snip if he thinks he get sex three times a week:-)

It's ejaculation that's required, not sex. So those of you tired and toddler-ridden could always go straight to the point and digitally stimulate the prostate.

God I hate my phone and bloody predictive text.

Digitally stimulate the prostate.

Now there's a phrase to strike fear into your average man.

Surely sticky sock.. sock stickers would be more appropriate?

Youcantscareme: as someone once said "one finger professionally, two socially".