To have laughed at being told to have sex 3 times weekly for 18 weeks?

[Youcantscaremeihavechildren]

Firstly apologies for tmi

DH is having the snip next week.

Told today he must ejaculate 3 times a week for 18 weeks afterwards.

Hes not partial to polishing the purple helmet (at least that's what he says, odd I know but he just isn't)

We've been together 12 years, got an 8 month old (lying on me, teething) who sleeps in with us and is currently giving us approx 2-3 hrs sleep at a time if we're lucky, a 5 yr old who gets up at 6 am. He's out of the house for over 12 hrs a day and I'm going back to work soon.
we're both shattered and whilst we'll, erm, give it our best shot, we did laugh.

I mean that's 54 times...that might take us nearly a year in normal circumstances, and that includes birthdays, anniversaries and xmas day

So AIBU to think know they have very high expectations of people who've probably got several children already, given that is the reason for most men having the snip? He wasn't coerced at all no not a bit

I just did lots of wanking after my vasectomy! No need for you to help out on every occasion!
Took me about nine months to be clear. You need two sperm free samples. My first still had some sperm in it so I had to provide three samples. I obviously wasn't wanking enough!
I can't remember if I was told a set number of ejaculations. I think I might have been but it's all a bit hazy (it was six years ago).

I don't have anything to add but I'm sitting here laughing at AF's massive over reaction, not everyone is being abused.

If Id known this I reckon I might have been able to convince Dh to have had the snip. Too late now, I got sterilised instead. Bugger.

I'm laughing at ComposHat's v funny joke!

This is very interesting. Dh almost got as far as snip (then appointment was 2 days after a new job started and a month before a 3 week holiday so not able to get any time off!). Nothing mentioned about the tallywank, but if it gives you the all clear more quickly, it's gotta be a good thing. My friend's dh did it and they were told 6 months to all clear rather than ejaculation amounts etc. I wonder why it takes so many ejaculations to clear the tubes. I thought sperm could only live for 7 days.

New names for Wanker Hamper:

Wham! per

Pleasure Thyself Darling

My DH had the snip and didn't manage it so he had to re-do his sample. He was mortified!

I wonder why it takes so many ejaculations to clear the tubes

As any bloke could tell you, sperm gets everywhere

Merry

...most definitely would have been taught that sex and masturbation are a sin.

As are contraception and sterilisation in general, but, of course, that was back in the priest-ridden dark ages!

Dh had his first post-snip test and was told off that he needed to "clear his tubes" more

The doctor DH saw about the snip had a name beginning with "Knob" (I swear this is true).

We spent the whole time trying not to catch each other's eye and desperately smothering smirks and sniggers like children.

You'd change your name wouldn't you?

You can get a box of wank eggs for your wankerhamper. handy for Secret Santa

Composhat

Sex on Christmas Day??!!

wanker hamper

those eggs are brilliant 'easy beat' hahaha.

Wanking tally charts!!!

I'm helpless

The world is a wonderful place.

Purple: at least you didn't see Dr Burns-Cox

Omg !! limiting yourselves to only 3 times a week - I'd be gutted !!!

Ah stop now. I have work to do.

Dr Burns-Cox

I'm so grateful to that man for becoming a urologist for the good of mankind.

Bwah ha ha ha

Excellent

DH was told he had to ejaculate a certain number of times, I think t was 20 or 30. He did this mostly by himself. Even when the tally was reached, it still took 2 years for him to pass his post-snip test.

Oh no :(

I'm not loving the tales of ever lasting sperm.

I'm praying that OH.gets the all clear asap after. We are having zero luck with condoms, I can't take any oral contraception or the have the coil or implant.

How I'm not pregnant I don't know. We.are careful but with limited avenues for contraception it is getting riskier.

It wouldn't be the end of the world if I got pregnant (we both agree) but it would make life more difficult. Plus, I cba with the newborn stuff and DS (2.9) is only just sleeping through.

Avoid PIV when ovulating and use condoms at other times?

I know this is AIBU not health but I have had patients six months post op coming back with 4th or 5th positive sample as the only ejaculates were the ones brought to the lab and it does take a few (double figures but only just double!) to clear the tubes, the little buggers are more tenacious, and wriggly, than threadworms.

But I thought sperm only live a couple of days, how can some live for 6 months?

Or do they only die after a couple of days when they are inside the female body?

And . . . what are those eggs for?

They only live for a couple of days once they've...err, been ejaculated.