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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Protesting with a toddler?!

73 replies

Decemberblue · 01/12/2015 19:15

My boyfriend has a 3 year old and has just informed me that if the government voted yes to bombing Syria he will be going to London on Saturday to join the protests and taking he 3 year old with him?!
I just think it's utterly irresponsible! You never know how these things will turn out, especially with everyone being on edge atm regarding Syria. It won't take much for a non violent protest to go the other way would it? He says I'm behind hysterical but I'm not sure?

AIBU?

OP posts:
spritefairy · 01/12/2015 19:17

I don't think so. I wouldn't take my children to any protest. Just in case. Even peaceful protests can go wrong if there is one idiot

sharoncarol43 · 01/12/2015 19:19

I think YABU.

Its a day out for a toddler, just as likely to go right or wrong as a walk in the countryside, a trip to the zoo, a plane journey to go on holiday......

As long as your boyfriend is prioritising the little one's safety and comfort, as on any day trip, appropriate clothing for the weather, drinks/snacks, amusement, etc Short cut home in the event of gridlock, aggravation, heavy rain, etc.

Enjolrass · 01/12/2015 19:20

Personally I don't think Yabu.

I wouldn't and I wouldn't allow dh to take our kids.

However you have voiced your objections and (from what I understand) he is his son, not both of your son. So you don't get a say, even though I think you are being sensible.

It really does only take one or two to act like knobbers.

What does the child's mother think?

hampsterdam · 01/12/2015 19:20

It's a peaceful protest it will be fine. I've taken my ds to lots of protests and demonstrations,never seen trouble of any kind. The people there want peace.
It's his ds so he can take him where he likes.

Merguez · 01/12/2015 19:21

I took my dc to climate change marches when they are little. It will be fine.

Booyaka · 01/12/2015 19:23

If he's experienced in this sort of thing I think it will be big enough for him to avoid trouble. If he stayed with the main organised rally, kept away from people with masks on and leaves early he should be okay.

Original poster
Decemberblue · 01/12/2015 19:23

His DD doesn't have a mother it's just us and my DD.

I just really can't see how it's safe. What about crowd rushing if anything was to happen? And atm a bomb scare is not exactly a far fetched thought. Just worries me sick.

OP posts:
sharoncarol43 · 01/12/2015 19:25

that could happen anywhere at any time Decemberblue

PurpleGreenAvocado · 01/12/2015 19:25

I think he'd be making a big mistake to take her but at the end of the day it's his decision.

Iggi999 · 01/12/2015 19:26

Does he realise protesting with a toddler will be different to protesting without, ie will he makes concessions to having a child with him? I think it would be easier with a baby than a toddler, when mine were little i would take them in a sling, a buggy is harder. I would be more worried about behaviour escalating from police actions than the protesters going off on one though.

nocoolnamesleft · 01/12/2015 19:29

I'm not against a toddler being at a protest. I am uneasy about a toddler being present at a very large protest, where you therefore know very few participants, aren't involved in the organising (so, for instance, can set up a family area) and there's significant scope for it being hijacked by an idiotic few (against the wishes of the minority).

In this case, therefore, I think YANBU. For a small local protest I would think otherwise.

Original poster
Decemberblue · 01/12/2015 19:29

Tbh I don't think he's put much thought into it at all. He's a hippie at heart and I don't have a problem with him protesting of that's what he wants, just think he should leave little one home with me.

OP posts:
TheXxed · 01/12/2015 19:31

My toddler DS has been on 3 protests so far and all of them have been peaceful, well marshaled and buggy accessible. He was one of several children at the protests, I can't think of a single incident of a child being harmed at a protest that I have attended.

hampsterdam · 01/12/2015 19:37

Has he got friends he can go with? Maybe sell it to him as more fun without the toddler go for a few drinks after if you look after baby?

Heatherplant · 01/12/2015 19:38

In the current climate it's really not the place for a 3 year old. He's an adult who can make his own decisions the child isn't.

hampsterdam · 01/12/2015 19:39

I was at the anti war demo in 2003, there were a million people there including lots of children, no trouble at all.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 01/12/2015 19:43

"Peaceful" protests often turn violent because people turn up who want to cause trouble.

Notimefortossers · 01/12/2015 20:03

Wow I'm so conflicted. I kinda want to go to the marches myself, but don't want to leave DC as DH and I have been away the last two weekends. I like my children to be aware of world issues, but their safety is paramount and I think on the very small off chance that something might happen I'd not be happy for them to go. Also, a pp makes a valid point when they said it should be their choice to go and they're not capable of making that choice yet. It's the bombing thing that I'd be paranoid about more than the crowd getting rowdy

SaucyJack · 01/12/2015 20:09

I think if you're willing to babysit, then he should leave them at home with you.

Not really for safety issues- it just doesn't sound like a fun day out for a three year old. It's one thing taking your kids out with you if you don't have anyone to leave them with. Quite another if you do.

Senpai · 01/12/2015 20:09

Depends. Does your area have form for turning into a riot?

It's really not more dangerous than taking her to a football game. Those places are prone to riots and stampedes if there's not good security and crowd control.

Original poster
Decemberblue · 01/12/2015 20:13

My area doesn't, but he's travelling to London. But even so, why would you take a 3 year old to a football game? That's a long tedious thing even for most adults!
I'm just really unsure about it all. I think maybe before Paris I wouldn't have been quite so wound up about it but you really don't know these days. Especially as this is a protest about Syria so there will be a lot of heightened emotions and tension there.

OP posts:
ToffeeForEveryone · 01/12/2015 20:16

Even without the protest kicking off, it's highly likely at a large protest that you could be held in one area for an extended period of time as crowd control. Not always with toilet facilities or shelter if it rains.

Why on earth does he want to take her? It's not exactly a fun day trip and she's not old enough to understand what's going on.

SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad · 01/12/2015 20:17

We took DGS to the big Anti Cuts march in 2011. He was 2 and a half and had a ball Grin
The two things that you need are a buggy (for if he gets tired) and some reins... and don't let anyone give him a whistle voice of bitter experience

SeamstressfromTreacleMineRoad · 01/12/2015 20:18

Sorry - HER a whistle. Apologies.

Rollermum · 01/12/2015 20:21

I've been on lots of protests and they've all had children with parents. Most recently I took DD (2) in a buggy and was quite pregnant - people were very kind and helpful if needed buggy help.

I would keep an eye out however and avoid groups splitting off. Also it depends on the issue and level of organisation in advance. I wouldn't take DC to a counter demo against EDL for example.