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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I absolutely hate working and believe it to be the worst thing about being an adult. AIBU?

389 replies

IntoTheSunset · 01/12/2015 17:16

I'd like to allay any concerns that anyone might have about my work ethic firstly. No one has ever complained about it in any job I've had. I realise that people have to work. I just find it depressing that I will likely have to continue working into my sixties and beyond. I'm 42 and would gladly retire tomorrow if I could. I also don't like how a person's place in society is defined by their job ahead of anything else. Do any MNers feel similarly?

OP posts:
Justaboy · 01/12/2015 18:19

TinklyLittleLaugh err no, I do get as much time off as i want, the work is also hobby related its also my company and travel?, yes do that too. Sometimes in the office sometimes out and about.
Time to myself yes got that.

Only thing missing is a lovely lady to share it all with but working on that soon:-)

Garlick · 01/12/2015 18:20

I absolutely loved the vast majority of my jobs. But I realise I was privileged to be paid a lot for doing stuff I enjoyed, largely to my own schedule. Some of my holiday/gap jobs as a young adult were so awful I walked out, and felt distressed that the older workers were stuck in them. A huge number of jobs are just doing the same every day, at the same times, in the same way, and being treated like a piece of equipment. It's soulless and I admire everyone who manages to make something like a positive experience of it.

It's worth looking around for something that catches your imagination a bit, or at least has an enjoyable daily culture.

Lozza1990 · 01/12/2015 18:20

Can I ask if you've ever not worked? The minute I started working, I had pretty much the same attitude, then I had my son. The grass is always greener, eh. Working part time would probably do me nicely.

TheSconeOfStone · 01/12/2015 18:24

YANBU at all .My job is reasonably well paid for the part of the country we are in and not full time which is the best thing I can say about it. The people I work with are mostly nice (boss can be a total dragon though). It's quite fulfilling on a good day but I do suffer from anxiety and I struggle with the pressure at times.

I'd give it all up in a flash if I could. I'd have the time to give the DC what they need, read a book, volunteer, learn new skills. I wouldn't be bored.

feelingcrossagain · 01/12/2015 18:26

Totally agree with Tinkly. I have no understanding of or empathy for people who say they would be bored without their job. How can that be possible? There are so many interesting things in this world, so many opportunities, how can you have no interest in any of them outside work?

As for my work, I am totally sick of an office job. Thinking of radical career change to reinvigorate my work life!
Generally I think this glorification of work is bollocks as it totally depends on your job, work environment , your colleagues and your fit for your job as to whether you love your job, tolerate or hate it.

ShatnersBassoon · 01/12/2015 18:27

I can't wait to retire. I've been back at work for a month after being a SAHM for about 15 years. I've realised that what I always believed is actually right; I can be really good at one thing, or so-so at two. I'm not as good at all the mum stuff as I was when I didn't work and I'm not as good at work as I was when I didn't have children. I feel torn and tired a lot of the time.

Oh well, only another 25 years or so to get through.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 01/12/2015 18:28

I'm with you OP. I've had lots of different jobs, from accountancy to advertising to middle management to TA. All have been perfectly good jobs, with interesting elements, some very well paid. But with any I'd have dropped them like a hot brick if we didn't need the money. I loved being a SAHM and would be a housewife if I could. I've been bored at work a million times but never at home. I can always find something interesting to do!

Ah well. Roll on Euromillions!!

lorelei9 · 01/12/2015 18:28

yes, I'd give up tomorrow if I won the Lottery

since I was about 28, I realised that working life just wasn't a me thing - I mean if you like your colleagues and find the actual work okay, even then, lots of things about it are just not for me. So I geared my finances to that and have been, frankly, quite miserly in efforts to save and hope to pack it in by 50 - major frugaleering for me.

I just think it's much more important, to me, to have free time than anything else and I don't want to be too old to enjoy it when I get there

I also hate that people seem to assess the value of an individual by what they do - I often feel I am not impressive enough and on top of that, saying I just like a quiet life makes some people judge. But I'm 40 so I'm past caring. And I'm really excited to retire tbh.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/12/2015 18:28

I love my job so much that I did it for years without pay and would still do it if I won the lottery.

My job is my passion and if you can find something you love and make it work for you then that's great.

TeaFathers · 01/12/2015 18:29

would some of the PP who said they love their job mind stating what their job is, pls?
i'm intrigued.

i've never had a job i like. i don't know what it means to love a job.

NewLife4Me · 01/12/2015 18:29

YANBU

I find people who define their work ethic and place in society by the job they or others do as very dull and unimaginative.
You don't need a job to be happy and satisfied in life. You don't need a job to have a good work ethic neither.
I think I'm very lucky to not have to work and have the choice, but others wouldn't give up their job for anything.
It's great we are all so different.

Junoandthepeacock · 01/12/2015 18:29

I have loved my two most recent jobs. I am currently aimlessly wandering. I hate being unemployed.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 01/12/2015 18:30

I've been happy in life; I loved my working life until I had ds2 when I was 36, all office work, and bloody loved it all. I've been a SAHM since then, 16 odd years and bloody love that too.

Now though my ideal would be to get a part time job, but I don't know how, or what I would do.

WyrdByrd · 01/12/2015 18:32

Yes - absolutely, and I say that as someone who is pretty fortunate in terms of working environment, flexibility and colleagues if not salary.

I can think of plenty of things to fill my time with if I didn't work (albeit I'd need a lottery win to do them!).

What I hate most is being tied to someone else's schedule, but I've just been offered a small freelance project and I'm hoping to develop that over the next few years and all going well, phase out my current job.

lorelei9 · 01/12/2015 18:33

PS one poster said about "grass is greener" - I've had a couple of blocks of time off because I did contracts with really excessive hours (well paid). No trouble at all filling the time. Many people don't work and enjoy life - depends on the sort of person you are.

TattyDevine · 01/12/2015 18:33

Hmmmmm...have you ever not worked for any period of time though? The first few years are fine...after that you can start to feel a bit disjointed. I've been home now for over 8 years raising my children and I'm just about ready to do something. I always said once I had children I'd never "work" again (i.e be an employee) but I could do with doing something so will probably buy a business at some point.

lorelei9 · 01/12/2015 18:35

Tatty, comparing time off work to raise children can't really be compared to time off work because you won the Lottery and can relax and enjoy yourself....Confused

my dad was terrified of retiring because he loved his work and was defined by his career. He's now loving it, never bored, and his health isn't great so his options are very limited and he has zero activities....just TV, hanging out with mum and his mates. What's not to like? Grin

Arfarfanarf · 01/12/2015 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Riley2015 · 01/12/2015 18:42

I hate working always have... Can't wait to get pregnant and go on maternity leave lol even though I'll have to go back after :(

StormBraver · 01/12/2015 18:43

YANBU. I have a well paid office job with a good variety of work and nice colleagues and yet I hate working, and really, really struggle with it at times. I think it's all down to my self confidence as I never feel as if I am good at my job or actually doing anything that makes any positive difference. But I need to support myself somehow so have no choice but to work and I'd rather be doing my job than a hell of a lot of other ones out there. Though if I didn't need the money I would give it up tomorrow!

Zippidydoodah · 01/12/2015 18:44

I loved my job until I started to hate it! Grin

I'm a sahm now and loving it, but I'm sure I'll start to want to work again at some point soon.

The question is, wtf to do?

regenerationfez · 01/12/2015 18:45

I think it depends on your job and your personality. I love my job. I feel stimulated and excited by it. I know what I'M doing and I'm good at it. I'm a teacher and I love talking about my subject and working with young people. The politics and the out of classroom pressure made me leave and wfh a couple of days a week so essentially a sahm although still working. I can't structure my day properly, all the lovely things I could do with my time is taken up by the school run and the day to day tedium of housework. Where I used to throw something in the slow cooker and shove the washing machine on at night I now have all the time in the world, so nothing gets done. I don't even manage to watch daytime TV because I'm cleaning the kitchen or doing the shopping, stuff I did in half the time when I was working. The worry about money is draining when one persons salary is keeping 4 people afloat, especially when my DH is currently having redundancy pressure at work. I'm preparing to go back to a different post in January before I lose all confidence in my ability and I can't wait!

Garlick · 01/12/2015 18:47

It's partly about attitude. I'm the kind of person who throws themselves into a job and, now I'm all sickly & poor, I throw myself into having an interesting inner life. I dislike that my life's so tiny now - really dislike it! - but have thrown myself into dealing with it. I'm okay.

But it's not all about attitude. Very many people have to "be equipment" for their employers, with little or no scope for self-creation, and that's the major part of their waking life for decades. The people who make something good out of that are brilliant.

If your work is the inflexible & repetitive kind, the people you work with/for can make a world of difference. It's got to be worth seeking out the best fit you can find.

Barbarasmum · 01/12/2015 18:47

Wow. I seriously don't understand how anyone can not work - or not see the need to give back. If your children are at school what exactly are you doing all day? Paid work, voluntary work, charity work - or Jeremy Kyle.

megletthesecond · 01/12/2015 18:47

Yanbu. I can't stand my job. I could be doing so many stimulating things instead of looking at a computer. But it pays the bills and at least it's only p/t.