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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu not to write from mum & dad

129 replies

elf0508 · 30/11/2015 18:05

My partner doesn't want to buy anything for our son for Christmas and expects me to write from mum and dad on his gifts. WTF. Why would I? I've spent time and money choosing a gift and wrapping it why should he get credit too?Angry

OP posts:
Bupbupbup · 01/12/2015 12:36

Are you ok OP? Sounds like you've had a tough time - with your mom, now your bf. Are you still in touch with your health visitor? Tell her you feel isolated, you're not a bad mom

Leelu6 · 03/12/2015 14:28

Barbarian - i had rtft and I didn't think the question was relevant. I think there are bigger questions for OP to grapple with, instead of one that she hasn't raised as an issue in her posts.

Lozza1990 · 03/12/2015 14:42

Considering your son can't read yet, it really doesn't matter what's on the tag. I just ordered a couple of toys for him online from 'both of us', he doesn't need anything and he'll get loads anyway from family. I think the issue is that he 'doesn't allow toys' and I don't understand the money thing? He won't give you money? What does he spend it all on Confused.

Just thought I'd answer because there is a divide of opinion on whether he needs to personally buy him a present or not but I don't really think that's the issue.

PolarBearNecessity · 04/12/2015 23:00

OP, you don't have to live like this. It sounds like you've been really ground down. One thing I noticed is that you've got some rules in mind that you think you're meant to keep, eg you made your bed so you have to lie in it.

Whose rule is that and what does it mean? If your 'bed' is being a mum, isn't 'lying in it' about making the best life you can for you and your son?

I'm sorry you found it hard being in a single parent family but it is important to recognise that you can't undo the past by staying with this man. You won't be giving your son something that's somehow better just because he lives in the same building as his dad.

You wonder if your dad cares about you and that is an awful way to feel but that doesn't mean it's better for your DS to live with his dad or that it will somehow undo the past. His dad is not able to care for him or you in the way that is needed.

And when your son grows up and asks why you didn't leave, what are you going to tell him? That you had made your bed and had to lie in it? That you wanted to continue the charade of a nuclear family?

Children need to play with toys. And you have needs too. Please don't choose this life for you and your son; because you do have choices. And while I think there have been some scare mongering posts, it is true that the lack of stimulation would be a child protection issue.

You didn't make your bed, OP. You made your son. He needs you to make a better bed for both of you.

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