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AIBU?

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Original poster

stalked by school!

385 replies

Brioche201 · 29/11/2015 22:10

Last Friday DD was off sick. I start work at 9.30 so got her up and dressed and dropped her round at my parents.When I got to work there was an email on my work email address (which I have NOT given out to them as a contact address), an emaul on my personal email, messages on my mobile and home number and DH's mobile! All before 9.15 wanting to enquire as to DDs whereabouts!! Now DD gets a lift to school every day with another child from the same village (we are 4 miles away from school) so pretty obvious that she hasn't befallen an accident on the way.Infact the secretary would have asked the other child if DD was coming
I am thinking of complaining to the school, as I think it was pretty rude to try to contact me by so many different means especially my work email wanting to know her 'whereabouts'.WTF !!

OP posts:
IguanaTail · 30/11/2015 00:10

The moment you signed your child up to be educated at that school, it very much became their "damn business".

If you don't wish to be asked then deregister her and educate her yourself.

treaclesoda · 30/11/2015 00:10

Although having said that, I still think the OP is being unreasonable because if that's the school policy then that's the policy.

GruntledOne · 30/11/2015 00:11

Look, these are office staff tasked with making urgent contact at a busy time of the school day. They don't have time to worry about whether your precious sensibilities will be hurt by their choice of wording. By asking about your child's whereabouts they're probably trying to convey that they know she's probably OK and they're not trying to be too alarmist.

And, actually, her whereabouts when she is supposed to be at school is precisely "their damn business".

GiddyOnZackHunt · 30/11/2015 00:12

So having been shown they have to act, rather than say OK, you're now retreating to the grounds of their 'tone'?
Give it up love, yabu.

UnGoogleable · 30/11/2015 00:12

I am enquiring as to the whereabouts of XXX

Oh my goodness.

Dare I ask how you responded OP?

OhYeahMama · 30/11/2015 00:13

Turn it around. Dd does not turn up at school. You are at work. Phone dead. They email you on the address they have. You don't check it / server down. You flip your lid as they didn't use their common sense and email you at work.

rollonthesummer · 30/11/2015 00:13

I think you'd be better off home educating, OP.

GruntledOne · 30/11/2015 00:15

Bonkers. My kids school has never called me when my children aren't in. Why would they? If they aren't in school, its not really anyones business but mine.

No, SecondViola, it is 100% their business. Are you seriously saying you wouldn't want to be told if your child was truanting?

TalcAndTurnips · 30/11/2015 00:16

Naught has nailed the issue completely - it's not an attempt by schools to hector and harass forgetful parents, it's all about trying to ensure that the whereabouts of every child - and the reason for those whereabouts - is known by the school.

A lot of parents make the mistake of assuming that, because they know where their child is that day, that is all that matters. Whether the school knows or not is an irritation and irrelevance to them. I have spoken to many parents who had no idea that their child was not in school. Some are grateful for the information; some panic; some are indifferent; some react with anger, as if it is the fault of the school.

The whole business is a thankless task that takes up hours of time in a large school - but one would never begrudge that time and effort if meant keeping even one child out of danger.

UnGoogleable · 30/11/2015 00:16

I feel like this thread is going round in circles..!

Original poster
Brioche201 · 30/11/2015 00:17

How is her whereabouts their concern ? All they need to know is whether she is off sick or not.I have seen posts on Mon where schools have wanted to know why the child was off sick-the nature of their ailment!!! Wtf

OP posts:
Original poster
Brioche201 · 30/11/2015 00:18

Mn not Mon,obviously

OP posts:
DancingDinosaur · 30/11/2015 00:20

I feel like this thread is going round in circles..!

Yeah you're right. Op just wants people to agree with her. But you're so wrong op. Maybe just take a step back and think about it, seriously ....

Pipbin · 30/11/2015 00:21

How is her whereabouts their concern ? All they need to know is whether she is off sick or not.

Can you not see that this is the same thing?

GruntledOne · 30/11/2015 00:21

Oh, come on, OP, are you seriously telling us that you felt they were officiously demanding to know her precise address? It's perfectly clear that they were doing their job of checking whether there was or was not a good reason for her absence and alerting you in case you didn't know.

And you still haven't said what was so dreadful about using your office email.

DancingDinosaur · 30/11/2015 00:22

Well the whereabouts is their concern, if she's not where she's supposed to be. All you needed to say was that she was sick. And be grateful that this was all it was.

UnGoogleable · 30/11/2015 00:23

How is her whereabouts their concern?

Well, no her exact whereabouts isn't their concern if they know she's off for a legitimate reason. But I suspect their email is just from a template so that they can send it out quickly without having to write a specific one each time.

They're not interrogating you on your DD's whereabouts. THey're ascertaining her safety. FFS.

LucyBabs · 30/11/2015 00:24

I'm quite surprised at these responses. My dd has been in school for three years and whenever she's bee out sick from school i have never called the school to say she wouldn't be in Confused
I send in a note to the teacher the next day to explain why dd was absent. Once the teacher takes the roll then he or she knows the child is absent and can ask questions the next day?

UnGoogleable · 30/11/2015 00:24

And you still haven't said what was so dreadful about using your office email.

We can only assume that OP had far more important emails to be getting on with than that irritating one DEMANDING to know whether her daughter was safe.

Canyouforgiveher · 30/11/2015 00:25

If they aren't in school, its not really anyones business but mine.

Isn't it? A child who is supposed to be in school and isn't excused by a parent is supposed to be under the care of the school - so if she isn't there it isn't unreasonable for them to wonder where she is - in case you start asking the same question 5 hours later at pick up time.

Why is it so difficult for some parents to make a 20 sec phone call to the school "x won't be in, she is sick". Am I missing something in terms of life impact here?

Original poster
Brioche201 · 30/11/2015 00:28

ungoogleable I only discovered the plethora of messages after I had rumg up to tell them she was off

OP posts:
Canyouforgiveher · 30/11/2015 00:28

honest to god, this thread has made me glad I don't work in education.

lazymoz · 30/11/2015 00:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnGoogleable · 30/11/2015 00:30

I only discovered the plethora of messages after I had rumg up to tell them she was off

A plethora of messages? How many did they send?

How DARE they try so hard to ascertain your DDs safety! I suggest you have serious words with them OP and warn them to be more lax in the future, dial back the safeguarding and just chill when children are missing.

Gladysandtheflathamsandwich · 30/11/2015 00:31

How is her whereabouts their concern ?

Because you would be threatening them with all hell breaking loose if she wasnt and you hadnt known about it.

The child I mentioned above, hit and seriously injured on her way to school and it only came to light thanks to the schools text/email that she wasnt where she should be. Kids skip school all the time and not just to hang out with their mates, wouldnt you rather find out straight away then much later when something horrible could have happened to her?!

You are so fucking short sighted and thats the irony. I bet if something did happen and the school didnt tell you then you would be on them like a ton of bricks!