stalked by school!

[Brioche201]

Last Friday DD was off sick. I start work at 9.30 so got her up and dressed and dropped her round at my parents.When I got to work there was an email on my work email address (which I have NOT given out to them as a contact address), an emaul on my personal email, messages on my mobile and home number and DH's mobile! All before 9.15 wanting to enquire as to DDs whereabouts!! Now DD gets a lift to school every day with another child from the same village (we are 4 miles away from school) so pretty obvious that she hasn't befallen an accident on the way.Infact the secretary would have asked the other child if DD was coming
I am thinking of complaining to the school, as I think it was pretty rude to try to contact me by so many different means especially my work email wanting to know her 'whereabouts'.WTF !!

Can you imagine if a school said something like that? We didn't bother to contact the parents and thought if she had been murdered then oh well, it was too late anyway. They'd be lynched.

Sorry OP but I do think you're being a bit silly re them emailing you at work. If I had someone email me from a certain address then I would think that person would be okay with me emailing them in the future on that address. That's a reasonable assumption to make I think. I don't see what the big deal is about them emailing you at work anyway, if your daughter was sick your work email is probably one of the most efficient ways of contacting you.

And it doesn't matter how 'sensible' your DD's friend is. I was regarded as 'sensible' at school but still covered up for my friend when she bunked off to meet her boyfriend (admittedly we were older than 10) but I did bunk off lessons on a few occasions in primary school.

We didn't bother to contact the parents and thought if she had been murdered then oh well, it was too late anyway.

I am just imagining a head teacher saying that in an interview, with a shrug of their shoulders.

So if it's a legal responsibility, what about secondary schools? they never contact to say your DC isn't at school?

I've only read this far and probably a dozen people have already contradicted this, but, just for your peace of mind, our secondary school is, if anything, even more vigilant about absence than the primary school ever was.

If one of my children is even a minute or two late, I receive a text telling me they have received a late mark! I don't know what they do about absence, because I always make a point of ringing and leaving a message by 8:15 at the latest. though ds3 got away with an entire day's unexplained absence back in July when I took him to Wimbledon but was too chicken to lie and say he was ill

Personally, I commend your child's school for their mammoth effort to get hold of you come what may.

My nephew is 18 and at sixth form - if he's not in they will contact his mum straightaway.

I have also found that secondary schools are even hotter than primaries on this, which, IMHO is a good thing, as children generally travel there under their own steam, and I would want to know immediately if my child hadn't arrived.

OP you may have felt hassled by the school, but this is really a general safeguarding issue that schools should and generally do, strictly enforce. Sadly there are a considerable number of children who are very vulnerable, and perhaps have parents who are allowed no, or very limited contact, therefore their non-arrival at school is very serious. Likewise there are children who have to make their own way to school at a very young age, or who are young carers... the list goes on. Therefore unauthorised absence should rightly trigger a series of events to ensure the safety of a child. This means that it will trigger for any and every child, so although your child was safely tucked up at her GPs, they were still obliged to follow standard procedures. I have seen awful situations where if immediate action had been taken when a child had failed to arrive at school, the outcome could have been very different.

I have also had messages about my 17 and 18 year olds, because, tbh, I had forgotten to 'phone as they were (or virtually were) adults, however I was still appreciative of the call.

I would also add as a Governor of a primary school that attendance is always a big concern, as is safeguarding. We have a duty of care to all our students and enquiring about their welfare should never be seen as 'stalking'.

You can complain all you like, complaints are counted and used as an indicator of the success of the system. it is supposed to be annoying! It is supposed to get a response! Some systems will text every number repeatedly, at regular intervals all day, or for several days, until a response is received. These systems are automated, no one has sat down and sent you texts and emails, it is done by machine.

And one last point ;) once I did forget to ring about DD's absence as I rushed off to a work meeting, they rang my phone at work and spoke to my manager asking me to call back. I didn't get annoyed, instead I felt embarrassed I hadn't called them first.

Wow, YABU!

I forgot to phone the school last week when DD, in Yr 9 was off sick, ( I was distracted as was going in for brain surgery), they phoned DH at work to see where she was. I phoned back and apologised.

I think of the two girls, Lisa Hoodless and Charlene Lunnon, who were abducted on the way to school and were very fortunately found alive after 4 days. When a child does go missing every moment counts. I can't believe anyone would be unhappy that their child's school would make to do all in their power to ensure all the pupils are safe.

Wow op, I hope this is not a serious post.

The school is not stalking you, they are just following mandatory safeguarding.

You really should have called the school earlier, so they didn't need to contact you to check in your dc's welfare.

I work in a school OP and we would do the same as your school.

IF something had happened to your daughter either on her way into school or infact had come to harm in the home by law we have to prove that we have exploited all avenues to make contact with a parent/carer or nominated emergency contact to find out the reason.

It is a minority of cases but working in a school with many high risk CP children on our school role sadly it isn't unheard of that something serious has happened. Registration papers are legal documents and have to be completed in full with accurate information within the time frame set out to the best of our ability.

It's my job and whether a parent finds it irritating or not it's a legal requirement set out by my governing body so irritating or not I doubt they would do anything differently. You can complain if you like I doubt they'll tell you anything different.

Brownie parents always text to say not attending. If Guide doesn't turn up then I text a parent as a lot of them walk in on their own. Never had a problem but I have had people taking detours via their boyfriend's house, and also have had countless ten and eleven year olds lying to cover for their friends.

No parent has yet complained that I care where their kid is. Maybe they do behind our backs but I'd still rather than tbh than the alternative.

Wow op, these people are making sure your child is safe and you're complaining about it?

The one time I didn't let the school know my dc would be absent (I was on hold trying to get an emergency gp appointment) they called to check and I was so apologetic! They weren't stalking me ffs, they recognised that they had a duty of care to my dc.

It is quite a relief that there are so many people understanding the situation.
Additionally, schools have to pay for every text they send and the man power chasing up attendance....

At DD's secondary school they have a register taken at the beginning of every lesson.. That is the norm. It's done through SIMS or CMIS at the vast majority of schools because they are accountable for internal truancy etc as well.

I used to think teaching must be a lovely job. Then I joined mn I have no idea how you do it!

I have a friend who is a maths teacher, and is required to phone the parents of every absent student in person every day.. This task takes by far the largest proportion of his working week, more time than teaching, or planning, or marking!

Wow some people are beyond help. OP ask the school not to contact you. Then pray nothing ever happens to your kid.

I can't believe you're actually a parent you're moaning about this.

Why the hell is a maths teacher doing an admin job that's one of the tasks the unions negotiated that we aren't meant to do!

Yep definitely different here in Ireland.
At my dds (7) school all children are walked to their classroom and teacher says good morning to the parent or guardian. If my dd was walking to school and into her classroom without me then its a completely different situation.
It just the norm here to not ring in an absence in junior school..We also don't get fined for "unauthorised" absences. The school my dd is in has a great reputation. I have never worried about safeguarding issues, that's to those who feel we're getting it wrong over here

My very elderly neighbour told me that when she was a young teacher, a little boy walking to school on his own fell and hit his head. It was a real country area and he was only found after school had finished for the day and it was then realised he was missing. He had died. Ok much less likely to happen now but schools 'stalk' you for a reason.