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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I love Christmas and I make a fuss of my kids so Aibu to tell people who are clearly envious to sod the hell off?

277 replies

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 16:01

Hi I have four children age 10,8,6 and 4 and Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year as it is for a lot of people. They are the most loveliest, happy, appreciative children you could imagine and whilst they aren't overly spoilt in terms of gifts they do get to enjoy other things associated with the festive period.

I'm currently I sahm (du works full time) I worked when my oldest three were little but when I had our youngest I decided to take a couple of years out until she was ready for school (next year) so I have the time to plan things over Christmas that maybe I wouldn't have had time to plan or do if I were working full time. To say I've come across a lot of negativity from some friends/family/aquaintenaces is kind of an understatement. I'm not one of those pushy, over enthused, obsessive parents who like to rub things what I'm doing in other peoples faces but if people ask what I'm doing and what I'm doing over Christmas then I'll happily tell them, but I wish I hadn't bothered now.

Over the next few weeks we have quite a lot on ie trip to see Santa (of course lol) a day out at a reindeer farm, breakfast with Santa at our local garden centre, day out at an indoor Christmas theme park. And as a lot of parents I've done the usual portable North Pole messages, ordered personalised Christmas letters and Christmas plates and I've spent time doing arts and crafts and making a lot of handmade Christmas gifts for family.

Now this sort of thing I love as do my kids and we really enjoy getting stuck in over Christmas but clearly some people have a problem with the effort I make. I told two grandma what I had planned and what I'd been up to and they sort of sighed saying that I'm Mary poppins, one friend then went onto Facebook the same evening and put at stays along the lines of she doesn't understand why Christmas is such a competition for some parents and why the hell they feel the need to take their kids on loads of trips she doesn't know!

I don't usually put anything on Facebook really and only tag in probably once a year when we are on our annual holiday but I decided the other day to put a status on saying how excited I was for Christmas and that we had lots of activities planned and I couldn't wait for the kids to break up from school. Well all I got was oh you must be crazy wishing the kids to break up, and you don't have to keep the kids entertained 24/7 Kath I'm sure they're capable of doing stuff on their own!

I was kind of shocked at first but when I thought about it, these sort of comments didn't surprise me as they were mainly off the same group of people (who are not necessarily friends just people I know) who do absolutely bugger all with their own kids and who would rather go out of a weekend spending all their money and then are too hungover and skint the next day to bother doing anything. And whilst what they chose to do with their own lives is their decision it's also up to me what I do myself, and i don't expect to have digs at me just because I enjoy spending time time with my kids and family. So would I be unreasonable to just ignore the ones on Facebook and to tell my so called real friends to keep their bloody opinions to themselves?

OP posts:
Enjolrass · 29/11/2015 19:06

Yeah I'll check the bible!

No it's not ok.

You would call someone a judgmental Jew, Muslim, Protestant, Hindu would you?

There was no need to add it to the end.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 29/11/2015 19:09

you know Pete he too loves his kids and loves to do things for his kids

meanwhile let all us other parents who are not quite as good to our kids be miserable buggers

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/11/2015 19:10

If their behaviour wasn't fitting with their beliefs, that they deliberately mentioned and they were being pretty awful then yes, I probably would say something. Please don't attempt to twist what I said into something it's not. Smile

Maybe I shouldn't have added it but she was pretty awful about single mums and I was heat of the moment.

Enjolrass · 29/11/2015 19:15

Maybe I shouldn't have added it but she was pretty awful about single mums and I was heat of the moment.

I agree she was fucking awful.

I am not trying to twist it. I just didn't like it.

But we both have our own PoV, so maybe we should leave it there.

I can see why you are upset it was a nasty comment and just shows shy her friends are probably fed up with her 'I am perfect posts'

Enjolrass · 29/11/2015 19:15

Sorry there was meant to be a Smile and a Thanks somewhere

ilovesooty · 29/11/2015 19:17

Yet she thinks they're 'clearly envious' .

Sansoora · 29/11/2015 19:19

*Yeah I'll check the bible!

No it's not ok.

You would call someone a judgmental Jew, Muslim, Protestant, Hindu would you?

There was no need to add it to the end.*

And there was no need for you to bring the above in to it.

And that comes from a Muslim.

Schubertlemons · 29/11/2015 19:19

Of course they are jealous - you have a beautiful large family and are planning a wonderful Christmas. I wish you joy.

Sparklingbrook · 29/11/2015 19:22

YY that must be it Schubert. Grin

regenerationfez · 29/11/2015 19:22

Yes all the single mums are jealous of your perfect family while they have to work, you know, in order to feed and house their children, but of course, that's not as important as giving them personalised plates a Christmas Hmm They just go out on the piss while their child's other parent is presumably taking care of them.

zzzzz · 29/11/2015 19:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zzzzz · 29/11/2015 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllieJayJay · 29/11/2015 19:37

People are so horrible at times on here! I don't know why if your not interested you don't just look at something else

I love seeing people post about what their doing at Christmas, I think it sounds lovely what you have planned! But then I'm obsessed by Christmas and love every minute of it - I'd normally have put my tree up by now :)

Enjoy your festivities!!

thelouise · 29/11/2015 19:40

"People are so horrible at times on here!"

The OP wasn't very pleasant either.........

ghostspirit · 29/11/2015 19:41

i dont think it matters if its posted on fb or where ever. i would just be happy for the person. not everyone can do the same stuff thats just like. but lots of people still have a great xmas without them things.

we do little things like make paper chains. and the xmas tree gets decorated several times. and a few xmas craft type things from the pound shop. kids are well happy with that :) and thats all that matters.

i dont do the father xmas and that sort of thing. might see one in the street or something. but we don't actually visit.

lexigrey · 29/11/2015 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Paintedhandprints · 29/11/2015 19:57

Wow. You are getting a hard time on here op.
I think/ hope perhaps you've come across wrong to what you wanted to say in the heat of the moment?
I would probably unfriend anyone who put pa posts on fb about me.
I think your plans sound lovely for you and dc's. They wouldn't suit me personally because I hate crowds. But I wouldn't post something horrid in response.

AgentZigzag · 29/11/2015 20:00

OP said 'I don't usually put anything on Facebook really and only tag in probably once a year when we are on our annual holiday' in her OP lexi, so not one of 'those tiresome people', and she seems pretty happy with what she's doing.

If what she's saying is making you feel inferior surely that's more about you than her isn't it?

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 29/11/2015 20:05

I found the op's post pretty tiresome

what does she want wow that's great op they are just mean because they are jealous

why am I asking it is glaringly obvious that is the response she was asking for Hmm

lexigrey · 29/11/2015 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OddSocksHighHeels · 29/11/2015 20:06

Wow at the thread zebra linked.

Needaninsight · 29/11/2015 20:07

Nobody's envious; they're bored rigid hearing you shiteing on about how your kid's Christmas is better because you clearly love them more.
That's all.

Just that.

ghostspirit · 29/11/2015 20:08

spot they are very simlar :/ but then a lot of threads are. but bit to simlar. dont want to make assumptions...

oh well passes some time for my boring life

coffeeisnectar · 29/11/2015 20:08

I used to have a friend like you. Never off fb banging on about "doing crafts with my lovely kids" and "home baking with my gorgeous kids" or off out with my lovely family. I think she forgets most of us have seen her kitchen (filthy), her house (a pig sty and also filthy) and that she only goes out with her family so she doesn't need to cook.

The rest of the time her 5 kids are busy trashing their house while she's on fb talking about her "lovely family", the kids she cba to do any homework with or going on about how hard it is looking after 5 dc (like she was forced into having 5).

It's all crap. We don't need to post that we went to a Xmas fayre yesterday or that we went out as a family. The only thing I posted was a pic of dp wearing my 10 year dds pink woolly hat, which was extremely amusing.

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