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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I love Christmas and I make a fuss of my kids so Aibu to tell people who are clearly envious to sod the hell off?

277 replies

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 16:01

Hi I have four children age 10,8,6 and 4 and Christmas is my absolute favourite time of year as it is for a lot of people. They are the most loveliest, happy, appreciative children you could imagine and whilst they aren't overly spoilt in terms of gifts they do get to enjoy other things associated with the festive period.

I'm currently I sahm (du works full time) I worked when my oldest three were little but when I had our youngest I decided to take a couple of years out until she was ready for school (next year) so I have the time to plan things over Christmas that maybe I wouldn't have had time to plan or do if I were working full time. To say I've come across a lot of negativity from some friends/family/aquaintenaces is kind of an understatement. I'm not one of those pushy, over enthused, obsessive parents who like to rub things what I'm doing in other peoples faces but if people ask what I'm doing and what I'm doing over Christmas then I'll happily tell them, but I wish I hadn't bothered now.

Over the next few weeks we have quite a lot on ie trip to see Santa (of course lol) a day out at a reindeer farm, breakfast with Santa at our local garden centre, day out at an indoor Christmas theme park. And as a lot of parents I've done the usual portable North Pole messages, ordered personalised Christmas letters and Christmas plates and I've spent time doing arts and crafts and making a lot of handmade Christmas gifts for family.

Now this sort of thing I love as do my kids and we really enjoy getting stuck in over Christmas but clearly some people have a problem with the effort I make. I told two grandma what I had planned and what I'd been up to and they sort of sighed saying that I'm Mary poppins, one friend then went onto Facebook the same evening and put at stays along the lines of she doesn't understand why Christmas is such a competition for some parents and why the hell they feel the need to take their kids on loads of trips she doesn't know!

I don't usually put anything on Facebook really and only tag in probably once a year when we are on our annual holiday but I decided the other day to put a status on saying how excited I was for Christmas and that we had lots of activities planned and I couldn't wait for the kids to break up from school. Well all I got was oh you must be crazy wishing the kids to break up, and you don't have to keep the kids entertained 24/7 Kath I'm sure they're capable of doing stuff on their own!

I was kind of shocked at first but when I thought about it, these sort of comments didn't surprise me as they were mainly off the same group of people (who are not necessarily friends just people I know) who do absolutely bugger all with their own kids and who would rather go out of a weekend spending all their money and then are too hungover and skint the next day to bother doing anything. And whilst what they chose to do with their own lives is their decision it's also up to me what I do myself, and i don't expect to have digs at me just because I enjoy spending time time with my kids and family. So would I be unreasonable to just ignore the ones on Facebook and to tell my so called real friends to keep their bloody opinions to themselves?

OP posts:
Sansoora · 29/11/2015 18:32

I would just leave it OP and not engage any further.

ChestyNut · 29/11/2015 18:33

ghosty am I missing something?

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 18:34

I'm certainly not going to turn it into a single parent/none single parent battle that's for sure, some people just like twisting things and causing an argument.

OP posts:
Enjolrass · 29/11/2015 18:36

Hmmm I definitely think it's down to tone!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/11/2015 18:37

Twisting things and causing an argument? You are openly judging single mothers for working full time (to provide for their children) and allowing them to spend time with their Father's on weekends. So bloody what if they go out! The worst comment on this entire thread was that. Bloody disgraceful.

Shutthatdoor · 29/11/2015 18:37

And don't start asking me about what single parents are supposed to do when their children are on acces visits, it's of no interest to me and I'm not getting into it.

You posted about when do they see their children.

If it is of no interest to you then why say it? You must have realised that it would get a reaction!

It isn't about twisting things. It is about what you have actually said.

Suzietwo · 29/11/2015 18:39

It's just a bit vommy isn't it. Magical Christmas....making it special for my angels....blah blah. I don't think you should take people's remarks seriously though.

You enjoy it. Crack on.

Posting this on here is unlikely to ummmm......enhance the wonder of the season...

KathGeorge1 · 29/11/2015 18:41

No actually what I said was that I understand that they work full time (re read my post if you like) as I used to do the same thing, and then I said that their kids go to their father's house of a weekend, which is actually true, so what exactly have I said that was "disgraceful"

OP posts:
OddSocksHighHeels · 29/11/2015 18:42

The disgraceful part was judging them for not spending time with their children.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/11/2015 18:43

You're whole attitude stinks. Facebook reactions (that may or may not actually be about you) to Christmas shit, are the least of your, problems. Pretty judgmental catholic...

ilovesooty · 29/11/2015 18:44

You wondered when they spent quality time with their children and I think there was an implication that they are inferior parents in your eyes.

Aliceinwonderlust · 29/11/2015 18:44

There is nothing worse than someone who assume everyone who dislikes them is jealous of them. I usually find they're disliked because they're annoying. Hard to swallow though

Roussette · 29/11/2015 18:45

I'm having a deja vu moment, did I read this thread word for word last Christmas or summat?

I've definitely read something like this before but not sure when. A few posters have asked you OP, if you have posted this before and you haven't answered. Have you?? I doubt you'll answer yet again

As far as your list of what you do, it's your choice but it isn't even December and if I saw someone banging on about all their Christmas plans all the time, I would want you to put a sock in it to be honest.

Enjolrass · 29/11/2015 18:45

Pretty judgmental catholic...

Wtf????

Marshy · 29/11/2015 18:46

They're judging you, you're judging them. Seems about quits to me

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/11/2015 18:48

Well she is! Her attitude is downright nasty and judgmental. What's the saying? Practice what you preach.

thelouise · 29/11/2015 18:48

"I'm only judging people who are judging me, so I don't feel guilty."

Even my 7 year old know that saying "but muuuuum, she did it first" is no excuse for saying or doing horrible things.

Marshy · 29/11/2015 18:50

...oh and goodwill to all men....apart from those who are women out on the piss whilst their dc are away for the weekend....no good will to them obvs Hmm

Enjolrass · 29/11/2015 18:54

Well she is! Her attitude is downright nasty and judgmental. What's the saying? Practice what you preach.

Would you add other religions on to the end of that?

I agree she is petty and judgmental....what's it got to do with being a catholic?

Sparklingbrook · 29/11/2015 18:56

Sounds like a Happy Judgey Christmas all round. Xmas Grin Wine

OhYeahMama · 29/11/2015 18:56

Ignore them, Christmas is a weird time for many, it brings out the worst in some people, and reminds them of the worst times so just give them the benefit of the doubt.

I love Christmas too, mainly as I love the my children being so excited. Its not about money as we don't have much, I love that we are building traditions and memories for them.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/11/2015 18:57

Enjolrass op went out her way to say she was catholic, that's what it's got to do with being catholic.

Enjolrass · 29/11/2015 18:58

Enjolrass op went out her way to say she was catholic, that's what it's got to do with being catholic.

Someone mentioned thy were Christian. She then mentioned she was Catholic.

There was no need to add that on to the end at all.

Her being petty or judgmental has nothing to do with religion.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 29/11/2015 19:01

Why? She wanted to mention she was catholic. She went out her way to say it. Being judgmental has everything to do with religion. Check the bible.

Sansoora · 29/11/2015 19:04

Enjo, I think she was quite within her right to say well you do it your way as a Christian and I'll do it my way as a Christian as well - except she said Catholic.

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