Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD? 5 year old and rights to say no - vaccine related

60 replies

Yuletidekitty · 27/11/2015 08:59

Dd is 5.

Flu vaccines are happening in school on Monday .

We've talked to dd about it and told her it's just a spray .

A couple of her class mates have told dd that they are not getting the vaccine . Dd is a worrier and now she's upset saying she doesn't want the vaccine .

DH says she should still have it as its for her own good .

I'm torn . I'm considering withdrawing consent as I don't want dd upset over a vaccine that isn't 100 percent guaranteed to work and isn't offered to everybody .

I also think she should have some say over what happens to her body - but where do I draw the line in medical terms ?

Help! WWYD?

OP posts:
JohnCusacksWife · 27/11/2015 09:01

She's not making the decision based on any rational reason though is she? She's only 5 and needs you to take the responsibility for these decisions for her.

HeartShapedBox · 27/11/2015 09:02

I'd think five was too young to make an informed decision, tbh.

DrewsWife · 27/11/2015 09:03

It's worry based. You need to show her how easy it will be. A squeezy bath toy to put a puff of air up her nose. Make a little joke about how easy it is.

Mistigri · 27/11/2015 09:04

You don't ask 5 year olds for informed consent to treatment exactly for this reason - they will agree or refuse based not on any understanding of the benefits or inconveniences of treatment but because of what their friends are doing!

If it were a jab I might say refuse it and get it done at your GP practice instead, but tbh with a nasal spray I can't see why you wouldn't have it done at school.

I'm with your DH ...

mouldycheesefan · 27/11/2015 09:04

She is 5.

I think too much of a song and dance has been made here. Don't make a big fuss, she has a quick spray up her nose to stop her from getting very very poorly. Job done. Don't go on about being brave etc, minimise the nonsense.

You are the decision maker not her, good grief!

Arfarfanarf · 27/11/2015 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 27/11/2015 09:09

She's five. Her reasoning for not having it is her friends aren't. I'm all for children having a say in things but this is an occasion where you make the decision. Just point out that the vaccination isn't sore but if she doesn't get it and contracts the flu she will be ill for days.

MissFitt68 · 27/11/2015 09:13

really?? youd be confidant saying out loud 'she doesn't want it so its her decision'

would you say the same about a dentist trip? doing homework?going to school?

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 27/11/2015 09:14

I'm with your dh.

KaluzaKlein · 27/11/2015 09:14

She needs the vaccine...

Reassure her, and get it done. Q

NurseRoscoe · 27/11/2015 09:16

My 4 year old says no to things purely for attention, stupid things like putting his shoes on or brushing his teeth. Flu is horrible and if she has any existing medical conditions like asthma getting it could be dangerous for her. There are lots of things we don't particularly want but like others have said her reasons aren't really valid

Original poster
Yuletidekitty · 27/11/2015 09:19

Thank you for the blunt replies Grin

You've confirmed I'm being a bit irrational Blush

Just to add , I haven't made a big fuss to dd about it . I told her its to stop her getting poorly , a quick spray and that's it . I then changed the subject .

Out of interest , not a bun fight starter , but are all the pp having the flu vaccine for their children ?

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 27/11/2015 09:20

Why's that relevant? Hmm

Witchend · 27/11/2015 09:21

What she she needs medical attention quickly and urgently and refuses? Does she still have a right in your eyes? You're setting a dangerous (genuinely dangerous) precedent.

Two of mine have had to have treatment urgently that they didn't really want because they are scared of the immediate pain. However if they hadn't had it then they would have been in a worse (and in one case possibly fatal) place later.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 27/11/2015 09:22

Don't withdraw consent. If she refuses the spray the nurse will not administer it.

From reading Threads on MN I think most are having their kids vaccinated.

BollocksToThat1 · 27/11/2015 09:23

Well if we all allowed kids to refuse vaccines then you might be worried about her catching diphtheria, whooping cough, polio, measles etc.

Woman up and build her confidence. Flu can kill. Tell her she has to have it and that's that.

Nanny0gg · 27/11/2015 09:25

All my DGC have had it.

They weren't in the least bothered (and one is a fusspot). Your DD needs to listen to her parents not her friends when it comes to medical treatment.

Kitsandkids · 27/11/2015 09:26

I agree with the pps and my children both had it done last year.

They were both due to have it this year but the younger one had a chesty cough so, although he was fine in himself, the nurse wouldn't give it to him, which is fair enough. The oldest had it and has had zero side effects. He didn't even mention having it done, I just knew when it was due and found the letter in his bag confirming he'd had it.

abbsismyhero · 27/11/2015 09:30

my middle child is a fusspot over the vaccine i told him he was getting it done end of he didn't even tell me it had been done i found the slip in his bag when i mentioned it he moaned about it saying his nose was tickly Hmm but until i did he didn't it was that much of a non issue for him

budgiegirl · 27/11/2015 09:30

Well, I've heard it all now. You're considering not giving a vaccine in case it upsets your DD?

If you want her to have it, just tell her she's having it. Don't make a big deal of it, but of course reassure her if she's worried.

If you are not sure about her having it, then that's a different matter, but don't decide this based on your DDs worries.

expatinscotland · 27/11/2015 09:39

She's 5, not 15. Have it done.

Arfarfanarf · 27/11/2015 09:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheGonnagle · 27/11/2015 09:40

My dd is properly underwhelmed by it. All her class mates are having the nose one and she has to have the jab because mummy is immunocompromised.
I'm sure if I asked her she'd say she'd rather not have it, but she's 5 and hasn't got a clue what it's really for.
Therefore she's having the jab. End of.

wannaBe · 27/11/2015 09:40

If before this you didn't have reason to want to not vaccinate her then withdrawing her is irrational.

Blatherskite · 27/11/2015 09:43

My 5yo DD said she didn't want the spray too.

I told her it was to stop her getting ill and she didn't even mention that it had been done as it turned out to be such a non issue on the day.

She might have a couple of friends who aren't having it, but there will be many, many more who are and I bet she stops worrying when she's in a big group who are getting in done.

I had flu 2 years ago and have paid for me to have the jab every winter since. I have never been so poorly Sad