WWYD? 5 year old and rights to say no - vaccine related

[Yuletidekitty]

Dd is 5.

Flu vaccines are happening in school on Monday .

We've talked to dd about it and told her it's just a spray .

A couple of her class mates have told dd that they are not getting the vaccine . Dd is a worrier and now she's upset saying she doesn't want the vaccine .

DH says she should still have it as its for her own good .

I'm torn . I'm considering withdrawing consent as I don't want dd upset over a vaccine that isn't 100 percent guaranteed to work and isn't offered to everybody .

I also think she should have some say over what happens to her body - but where do I draw the line in medical terms ?

Help! WWYD?

Is it more effective than last year's? not trying to be bun-fighty, but something to consider - yes, they've included the mutated strain from last year but it's certainly not an obligatory vaccine to have and is a rather new programme for schools - do whatever you feel comfortable with, don't feel you have to consent
here's some info

in terms of her decision making capacity, yes she does have some capacity but not legally - if nasal spray then there's unlikely to be any drama from it. Your job is to ascertain what you think is in her best interests. If the parents disagree (in more dramatic scenarios, and it ends up in court) then court will side with what is in best interests irrespective of child's wishes. Even for older children who would ordinarily be competent to make a decision. I think that's wrong (there was a case of a 15 year old and an 11 year old forced to have vaccines they didn't want, after their parents disagreed and it went to Court)
If it was going to cause distress and I wasn't convinced it was necessary, I'd certainly think twice about it being in someone's best interests at all - but I'm sure most of the children will be having it. If she does have it, best to explain to her what it's for, to stop her getting sick (or more detail if appropriate) and that it won't hurt, nothing to be scared of.

Thank you for all the replies . I do think some were a little harsh considering I said a few posts in I was being irrational but hell this is AIBU after all

I think fluffypersian has hit the nail on the head about why I'm a bit anxious about it .

When dd was younger she was pinned down to administer medicine and I remember how traumatic it was for her and me . She probably doesn't remember as she was little . But the guilt has stayed with me , even though she needed it .

Because the vaccine is not a "mandatory" one like measles etc , that's why I was in two minds about it .

I should be clear , not once have I let dd think I'm having second thoughts .

To the pp who asked why it was relevant whether others were getting flu vaccines with a sarcastic smiley too - I was just curious .

Like I said , I was torn about whether because the vaccine is a bit "unnecessary " whether she should have the rights to say no .

We've decided to go ahead with the vaccine . I was just having a flap this morning

Try bribery. Promise her a toy if she has it. (Though keep in mind the precedent you are setting, if she needs a toy for this, what's will the bribery budget need to be for a needle vaccination? )

It sounds like you’re a very caring Mother who wants to do the best for her daughter

If you’re going to be upset, I’d suggest your partner / a relative taking her, rather than you as your daughter might feed off your concern. My partner and I already discussed that if / when we have children, he will take them for all injections and needle related things as I know I’ll just get upset and my child will ‘learn’ that it’s a bad thing and something to be feared, whereas my partner is totally laid back and chilled about them.

If possible, I’d try and get her to make it ‘her choice’ – it probably sounds silly, but when I was 21 and had a tetanus injection after 6 months of counselling, I felt it was ‘me’ making the choice and it wasn’t against my will. Obviously she’s 4 so different thinking applies, but if bribery / explanation or whatever method that doesn’t involve physically forcing her to have it done… then I say go for it!

When dd was younger she was pinned down to administer medicine and I remember how traumatic it was for her and me

We all hate it, but it has to be done. Children don't understand these things.

Both my kids will have the vaccine, they always do. To them it's a fun little break from the norm at school. I'm a GP and I've seen enough poorly kids in my time to know its best to try and prevent illness is possible.

Not in the UK but I did get the flu vaccination for mine, it is free, no appointment necessary (can just go and get it in the equivalent of Boots) and they did the nasal spray.
I mainly got it for them this year as we are travelling and I thought they could do with any protection it may give.
I also got it for myself - again, was free and they gave me a chocolate bar!

I am not thoroughly convinced about the benefits of the flu vaccine but I do believe it will not do me any harm and stands to do me some good and could stop the general spread of the flu so, given they make it so easy, I have gone for it.

Just trying to get OH to get it now as he tends to have a crappier immune system than the rest of us anyway.

I completely know what you mean about the vaccine being a bit "unnecessary" - flu generally not being as awful as measles, mumps, rubella and what have you but flu is bloody miserable so why not do your best to keep it away from them?

My 6 y o has to have a cannula change every two days and a different cannula changed every seven
She also has to have other invasive things done (since age 3) and occasionally she tries to refuse but we just have to hold her down and do it

On the other hand dd1 at age 10 refused an operation and the hospital said it was her choice so it didn't go ahead