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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how you and your OH do Christmas pressies

93 replies

Bearbehind · 26/11/2015 22:34

Not exactly a thread about a thread but certainly inspired by it.

I'm intrigued as to how others do their Christmas shopping.

DH and I buy each other things we know the other wants.

Granted, it's not a surprise but I'd still far rather that than wasting money on something neither of us wants or needs.

Also- I wouldn't think of making purchase of something that could be my Christmas pressie just before christmas as it's hard enough thinking of things I do want.

Does anyone like getting complete surprises that they might not want / need?

OP posts:
DramaAlpaca · 26/11/2015 22:37

We do similar to you, OP. We get each other a couple of surprises, but we choose our main presents ourselves.

WidowWadman · 26/11/2015 22:37

Husband and I surprise each other. The guessing and teasing, misleading and false clues a large part of the fun. Never been disappointed and neither was he. Anything I hint at I can be sure I won't get.

nilbyname · 26/11/2015 22:38

Well... I know that this will make me sound like a grabby grab hole.... But I send dh links to things I want from September onwards. I send him heaps of stuff which he would never get all of it. But that way some orbit will filter through and I'll get a surprise!

I, on the other hand, pay attention all year round and get him things he has mentioned he likes

dun1urkin · 26/11/2015 22:39

We don't buy each other anything. We get ourselves a joint extravagance. One year it was a new telly for the bedroom, another year it was a trip in a hot air balloon. This year we're putting the money away to pay someone to decorate a couple of rooms rather than doing it ourselves exciting I know

Hobbes8 · 26/11/2015 22:44

We don't really do big presents for each other any more. We get each other something like a DVD or a book or something, and then a little something from the children. We used to do nice trinkets or something bigger, but that was pre kids when we both worked full time and had a bit more time and cash. Also after a few years together it gets a bit samey and unnecessary - I don't need another pair of earrings or whatever.

We did talk about getting a big joint present for each other, like a new TV or something, but decided we'd be better doing that at a less expensive time of year. I love Christmas anyway, and there's nothing Inparticularly want apart from stupidly expensive things, like a loft conversion and a new kitchen.

I recognise that we're very lucky to be able to afford the things we really want and need throughout the year though.

ConferencePear · 26/11/2015 22:45

We do that too dunlurkin.
We started it after several expensive disasters.

DisappointedOne · 26/11/2015 22:47

We don't buy anything. It's brilliant.

HicDraconis · 26/11/2015 22:47

We do gifts for the boys but not really each other. We have everything we need, most of what we want - and if we want it and don't have it, we can't afford it so it's not happening at Christmas!

We usually chat about a joint "treat" that we'd get anyway but will plan to do it at Christmas. This year my combined Christmas and birthday gift (and DH Christmas) was to have some building work done in the garden - we now have lots of raised vege beds, a flat area for the greenhouse and stairs so we can access it all! DH is getting chickens for Christmas too, the greenhouse will probably be more my domain 😄

DawnOfTheDoggers · 26/11/2015 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort · 26/11/2015 22:50

We are a bit like Hobbes - neither of us really want anything, we have a joint bank account and never quibble over money both very frugal, I am honestly not into clothes/jewellery/handbags etc, I loathe spending for the sake of it. DH might like the odd gadget for his hobby but he can just go and buy it himself.
We also had a few disastrous gifts in the early years of being together - much simpler not to bother anymore. Grin I don't need money spend on me to know that I am valued Smile.

CakeNinja · 26/11/2015 22:50

We both buy surprises.
I usually get him practical but wanted things. Last year, some Levi's as he'd lost weight, a good docking station for his phone to go in the kitchen (technically a present for all of us but he had gone on about it for ages), some nice shirts and a jacket. Then a box set that he had hinted about and a few other bits and pieces.

We don't ask each other for anything but he always manages to do quite well for me too.

I like surprises!

dun1urkin · 26/11/2015 22:51

I can't remember how it started for us. We used to get each other stuff, but I think we I, mainly found it stressful trying to get good presents. The first year with no presents to open I was a bit Sad but I soon got over myself. We get a nice treat that we can both enjoy, no stress or guessing. We do get each other birthday presents though.

iwantgin · 26/11/2015 22:54

We don't bother.

It's joint money so don't see the point. If we want a particular item we would just buy it whatever the time of year.

I would rather not waste money on gifts that we don't really want.

JassyRadlett · 26/11/2015 22:54

My husband and I surprise each other. We'll each suggest various things we like the look of/may find useful in the month or two before Christmas, and gifts are often steered by that but not always.

DH gets me and what makes me tick; I've never had a dud gift from him. I hope the same is true for him.

But I love choosing gifts for people and getting it just right. It's my favourite part of Christmas, to be honest. Someone openly asking for vouchers (SIL always rings to tell us what shops she'd like vouchers for this year, unsolicited) or an exact gift takes away a bit of that for me - though of course I'll go along with it cheerfully on the outside, because it's the recipient who matters.

Kelsoooo · 26/11/2015 22:59

We both have an amazon wish list running permanently, which is good for when we want to buy each other a little surprise randomly.

Other than that, we ask for general suggestions and ideas but surprise each other.

So one year I bought him an axe as he'd been going on about wanting one since the dawn of our relationship.

One year he bought me the clinicque clarisonic face brush.

He's never got it wrong, I on the other hand...have haha.

This year, he's getting a massively OTT present. It's a total surprise, and I can't wait to give him it.

(This is the frist year I've had a job, so not had to use "his" wage)

Bonkerz · 26/11/2015 23:00

We don't buy presents for each other.
Dh will take kids shopping and they get £5 to choose me a present and I do same for them to buy for dh.

We treat ourselves throughout the year. This year we had a weekend away, dh had a new kindle and I had a new bit of 'ghost hunting' kit!

Original poster
Bearbehind · 26/11/2015 23:03

It is funny how people differ.

I love it when people tell me exactly what they want.

I strongly suspect that if I chose something, even though they say they like it, it's off to the back of the drawer or charity shop in the new year- I'd never have the confidence to think I'd got a gift 'just right'.

OP posts:
LuluJakey1 · 26/11/2015 23:11

We buy each other nice treat things and he usually buys me something a bit romantic. We don't spend a fortune. I like that he really thinks about me.
We open them on Christmas morning in bed or we have for 7 years. This year we have DS who will be 11 months and three weeks old.

SilentlyScreamingAgain · 26/11/2015 23:11

My OH is amazingly decadent towards herself throughout the year, so I shall be buying her an orange. I'm miserly and have probably spent less than £50 on non essentials in the last six months, I'm buying myself a new iPad.

Judydreamsofhorses · 26/11/2015 23:20

My partner is amazingly good at presents, so I leave him to it. He, on the other hand, is really hard to buy for, so I generally get him the same things every year - a couple of t-shirts from Urban Outfitters, a book, usually related to sport or music, socks, a couple of DVDs and then something that I know he wants. This year he's also getting trainers and new headphones, plus a jumper. So boring! We are pretty good about picking up little random surprises throughout the year though, so it's not just about Christmas.

ProvisionallyAnxious · 26/11/2015 23:20

DH and I spoil each other rotten (no DC yet and we haven't had a vast number of Christmasses together each). We get each other three 'main' gifts and then some stocking-style gifts (which, at my insistence, always includes chocolate of some sort Grin).

I absolutely love choosing gifts for DH and he always chooses me fantastic things. I'm a bad person for hinting strongly about certain items whilst also really loving surprises. DH does good on surprises. It helps that we have interests in common (for example we both collect old books but in different areas) so both have the relevant knowledge to know what is good or not if that makes sense. We also both like whisky so every year one or other (or sometimes both...) of us will buy the other a lovely bottle that will, of course, be shared between us both.

Ragwort · 26/11/2015 23:22

I'd never have the confidence to think I'd got a gift 'just right' - I agree, in my whole life I honestly think I have received very few surprise presents that are 'just right' - of course I always accept gifts gratefully and wear/use them in front of the giver but they are rarely things I would choose for myself and are usually off loaded as soon as decently possible.

I have a good friend who always says how much she loves buying presents, "knows exactly what people like" and complains about some of the stuff that she is given, but really she doesn't get it 'right' when giving presents to me and my family, although she clearly thinks she does Grin.

JassyRadlett · 26/11/2015 23:24

I have a good friend who always says how much she loves buying presents, "knows exactly what people like" and complains about some of the stuff that she is given, but really she doesn't get it 'right' when giving presents to me and my family, although she clearly thinks she does

Maybe everyone I know is just too polite!but to be honest I don't buy gifts for that many people - only those I know pretty well.

SunnySomer · 26/11/2015 23:29

Silently Screaming - I suspect you're my OH!! (Except I know he's asleep so not possible)

BumbleTalking · 26/11/2015 23:57

In our house, we buy each other what we want and make requests leading up to November time. We're really both like children on Christmas Day, lots of gifts from each other... But I wouldn't do it if we ever had more than just the one DC, it's far too expensive and I see a lot of sensibility in those who choose not to go all out/buy for other halfs when they have kiddies!

If I had my way, we'd both get something small but DP is very OTT with presents perhaps I'm overindulging his indulged infancy, so I go along with it since it means so much.

I wish he'd like surprises though, I do pick him up the odd bits I think he'd like but he doesn't even hint for what he wants, he outright asks Hmm