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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how you and your OH do Christmas pressies

93 replies

Bearbehind · 26/11/2015 22:34

Not exactly a thread about a thread but certainly inspired by it.

I'm intrigued as to how others do their Christmas shopping.

DH and I buy each other things we know the other wants.

Granted, it's not a surprise but I'd still far rather that than wasting money on something neither of us wants or needs.

Also- I wouldn't think of making purchase of something that could be my Christmas pressie just before christmas as it's hard enough thinking of things I do want.

Does anyone like getting complete surprises that they might not want / need?

OP posts:
BoboChic · 27/11/2015 08:18

DP asks me what I want. I tell him. He buys it.

I buy him a surprise. He is always very pleased with it.

That is our relationship in a nutshell - I'm the imagination, he's the executor Wink

ohtheholidays · 27/11/2015 08:24

I usually ask DH if there's anything he really wants and vice versa,I'll buy him that and he'll buy what he knows I want and then we buy each other surprises as well.

I never tell anyone else what I'm buying them neither,I'm usually really good at knowing what music,jewellery,clothes,pefume/aftershave,hobbies family and friends like.

I usually always get roped into helping other family members and friends to do they're Christmas shopping.

GreenPotato · 27/11/2015 08:27

I've just recently confessed to DP that I really don't want surprises and would rather give him a list to choose from. It's not that I don't like the things he's got me, he's actually usually good at choosing presents but I just can't bear the "surprise!!!" element and having to look thrilled when I feel under so much pressure. So now, I give him a list and he gets to choose off it, plus add his own input such as what colour to get (he's good at this and knows what I like).

He still likes me to get him a surprise but it's usually from quite a well-trodden selection of things, for example I often get him a jumper, shirt or scarf, books or pottery. He's hard to buy for - what he really likes is tech and gadgets, but he enjoys reviewing and choosing them and wouldn't want them as a present.

LittleLionMansMummy · 27/11/2015 08:30

We surprise each other and are quite good at it. I love Christmas! Grin

callmekitten · 27/11/2015 08:41

Well, at our house, Santa brings gifts for me and DH as well as DD. (we do not have a lot of friends or family that buy us gifts, so everything under the tree on Christmas morningis from Santa) I do all the Santa shopping with the budget set aside for that so I will get what I want and mostly things off off DH's wish list from Santa. DH will take DD shopping for one gift from him and DD to me and that one will be a surprise. And I take DD shopping for one gift from us for DH which will be a surprise for him.

Dowser · 27/11/2015 08:58

One year I surprised him with a kindle. Last year he bought me a kindle fire. This year I've got three pairs of good quality shoes and I've bought him a waxed jacket and leather hat. We've spent the most on each other this year on individual gifts.

We are going abroad in January so that's our main present.

puthyjip43 · 27/11/2015 08:59

No gifts for each other, instead we treat ourselves to a fancy dinner and night out in January

Hydradela · 27/11/2015 10:28

We'll do a joint present (fancy coffee machine one year) or set a limit of anything between £20- £100. The amount has gone down over the years and it's more a token present now. We've been together 20 years so surprise presents are getting very difficult. We once gave each other exactly the same Christmas card Grin. dh gets pyjamas this year. Talk about old married couple... Wink

ElasticPants · 27/11/2015 10:38

We don't buy each other gifts. I do presents for DC on Christmas Eve, they get pjs, slippers and dressing gowns. I buy dh and myself something to open. This year it's a onesie each. Last year it was slippers as I needed new ones.

We prefer to go shopping in the sales to get bits we both need. We don't mind not having a surprise gift to open.

Arfarfanarf · 27/11/2015 10:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Bearbehind · 27/11/2015 10:55

It's interesting that there's lots of different ways people do this.

For those who do do surprises, are they generally things you'd never have thought to buy yourself?

I think that's why I like they way we do it a, by Christmas there's usually a few things I'd like and i'd buy myself at any other time of year so i'd rather have those than have something, that whilst I might like it, I wouldn't have chosen to buy it over the other items.

OP posts:
MummaV · 27/11/2015 11:00

We have a £50 budget this year with an additional £10 to get a present from DD.

He earns more than I do so although we have our joint account that we put in enough to cover bills and savings in relation to our income he always has a bit extra disposable income and therefore has always been very generous.
I had to implement a budget as I'm on maternity leave and can't stand being given lots of relatively expensive gifts and not being able to reciprocate.

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 27/11/2015 11:11

I ask what my partner wants, although I hate doing so. I have no clue what to get him (or anyone actually), it's just easier to ask. He, on the other hand, picks out the most thoughtful presents without asking. Things I'd have never thought of getting for myself, but always have meaning behind them. Git AngryGrin.

I'm sure the gifts we get for each other will become less over the years, now we have a child. I imagine we will always get something though, especially since our birthdays are months after, and no one should have to wait that long for presents no matter what age!

SarahSavesTheDay · 27/11/2015 11:30

My husband and I never buy each other gifts, but I'm getting sentimental in my old age. I think I'd like to start!

The problem is that my husband doesn't really 'get' me on a material level.

BarbaraofSeville · 27/11/2015 11:53

DP and I are quite different in that he likes stuff and things, and I hate it.

There is always a massive list of things he wants, so I just buy him something I know he wants plus a few surprises of the chocolate/book/booze variety.

After many years of inappropriate presents, I have come up with a standard list that allows him some thought and effort and the element of surprise:

Gin (not Gordons's but something more interesting)
Naice chocolates
A calendar for my office (he can choose on related to the things I like (cats, holidays, walking/outdoors)
A small surprise

Works for us. If I want/need something, I want to research and choose it myself, shop around for the best deal and not have to wait for Christmas.

I see no point in doing all this and then saying 'please buy me X for Christmas' - I might as well just buy that item myself when I actually want/need it, see it for a good price and not risk it going out of stock.

HippyChickMama · 27/11/2015 12:03

We make each other a stocking with a £50 limit, mine usually consists of nice toiletries, face masks, maybe some costume jewellery and his is chocolate, socks, guitar strings etc. We also have £10 each for the dcs to choose a present from them. Ds's choices (dd is only 2) are erm, interesting!

PicaK · 27/11/2015 21:59

We're very much "life's too short" - so that if we need or want something and we have the cash then we get it there and then.
We enjoy those things. But it does mean at xmas we're scratching our heads going Hmm, hmmm? trying to think of stuff we want. And just buy some very small token things (£20 on each of us max).
That makes it sound like we're really spoilt but our list of things-we-want-through-the-year is actually a lot smaller than what a lot of people on here are giving each other on xmas day.

febreeze · 27/11/2015 22:20

We don't buy each other gifts. We have joint money and if we want something we would just buy it. We do a stocking with 3 or 4 food items in- maybe if we remember

wherehavealltheflowersgone · 27/11/2015 22:29

We get for each other:

Something you want
Something you need
Something to wear
Something to read

Saw it on MN a few years ago and done or ever since :)

AbeSaidYes · 27/11/2015 22:31

I prefer to get what I ask for from DH otherwise I get something he bought because it was a bargain or on Amazon's Black Friday.
i find him difficult to buy for though, so often end up getting a variation of the same thing every year.

DickDewy · 27/11/2015 22:35

We do all surprises for each other and lots of stress (on his part) to find those perfect gifts.

I should probably say we waste money, it's all about the children - blah, blah - but we love going ott with gifts for each other. It's very romantic and meaningful and as long as we can afford it, we will do it.

It's a big part of Christmas morning - after all of the presents are opened, dh and I open ours. We love it.

OTheHugeManatee · 27/11/2015 22:36

We do a mixture of wish lists and surprises. DH is a pain to buy for - picky about clothes, uninterested in random stuff or gadgets and pretty well equipped in most ways - so I tend to get him experiences or something he's asked for. But we also do stockings for each other and that's always surprises. DH tends to get me a big thing he knows I want plus some cashmere a random other thing to open that I'll probably like.

Mrsunders86 · 27/11/2015 22:55

I bought myself a no7 Black Friday bundle for £100 today that DH will wrap and give to me, he is currently playing his early Christmas Xbox shooty game and we will go pick a nice aftershave for him this week to open on the day, works for us doing it that way as we both get something that we genuinely want..will also each take dd (4) out to get a small present from her to each of us that she gets to pick and wrap! DH would get me lovely gifts left to his own devices but I'm ashamed to say I have picked some absolute corpses for him over the years 😖

Mrsunders86 · 27/11/2015 22:56

OMG!! Corkers!! I've picked some corkers, not corpses!! That would be horrific to find under the tree 😂

HerRoyalNotness · 27/11/2015 23:09

We don't normally do Xmas but I've always bought for the DC. This year H has decided to have a MLC do it. I've bought him a funny mug he laughed at earlier in the year, he will be beside himself to take it to work and use it in a meeting. Also some beard oil, I love when he had a bit of whiskers but he complains it's too itchy. Problem solved.

Last year he bought me a beautiful cashmere jersey that I was too fat for, but I love it and can fit it now. Really just for something to unwrap so the DC didn't think it was weird. This year I think he is replacing a perfume I like that is almost finished. I'm happy with that.