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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder how you and your OH do Christmas pressies

93 replies

Bearbehind · 26/11/2015 22:34

Not exactly a thread about a thread but certainly inspired by it.

I'm intrigued as to how others do their Christmas shopping.

DH and I buy each other things we know the other wants.

Granted, it's not a surprise but I'd still far rather that than wasting money on something neither of us wants or needs.

Also- I wouldn't think of making purchase of something that could be my Christmas pressie just before christmas as it's hard enough thinking of things I do want.

Does anyone like getting complete surprises that they might not want / need?

OP posts:

trufflehunterthebadger · 28/11/2015 00:56

we don't do christmas presents. i will get presents from my parents, £50 note from Dh's family (we do secret santa between the 7 adults in the family although we as well not bother because we just end up passing a £50 note round) and a token gift from dd. dh will get his secret santa £50, a gift from my parents and that's it

corlette · 28/11/2015 09:18

mrsunders

MummyPig24 · 28/11/2015 10:19

We get each other something the other wants or needs. Dh needed some mud guards for his new bike so I've got him those. I got him some jeans and a top from the dcs. I asked for converse and hair straighteners and I'm pretty sure he's got those for me.

Stanky · 28/11/2015 10:22

We donate to the SCBU as our present to each other.

IwishIwasinNewYork · 28/11/2015 10:27

We don't really have a rule.

Sometimes we agree not to buy each other anything.

Sometimes my dh will get me something small but thoughtful, sometimes he will buy me something stupendous like expensive jewellery or shoes.

I never know what the fuck to get him as he doesn't want or need anything and is horribly unmaterialistic Any ideas gratefully received!!!

jamtartandcustard · 28/11/2015 10:28

Dh only had his birthday last week. He's a nightmare to buy for, he doesn't even know what he wants so how am I supposed to know? Trying to think of thoughtful presents twice in 5 weeks is not easy!
Besides we are soon to have 5 children, and not huge incomes, and think Christmas is more about the kids and spending time as a family, so we just fill each other stockings with biscuits, perfume/aftershave, phone case, that sort of thing. Dh always asks me to make him a list of what I want though so I usually email him links, he pays, and I then get the joy of wrapping them. He's such a romantic

IwishIwasinNewYork · 28/11/2015 10:34

jam My husband's birthday is 20th December so I feel your pain! I have no idea what to buy him for bday or Christmas. Two of my daughters have December birthdays too. Arggh!

murmuration · 28/11/2015 10:41

We tend to run across something large-ish every so often that we want, and we'll discuss with the other about getting it, and then go, "Okay, then, I'll call that my Xmas/Bday present". Convient as both our b-day's are in the summer, so there is fairly evenly-spaced times when we can point a big purchase to.

I like to get something smallish for DH to open, and have actually just asked him what he wants, and he's terrible at saying. But I've also commented (after reading a thread on MN :) ) that other people care about presents more than me, and he said he probably did care more than me, too. But not helpful if he can't even say a category of what he wants. He does have an Amazon wish list mostly full of CDs, and I'll usually get him one of those.

Despite my saying very often that I really like bath things, like bath salts and bubbles, etc., DH has only once gotten me this as a present. I was very appreciative, so I don't know why he didn't do it again. I think because he thinks its too 'boring'. But its the sort of thing I like, but too much of a luxury, so won't buy for myself, so I would really appreciate as a present.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 28/11/2015 12:43

DH's birthday is the 23rd December!

CallingAllEmergencyKittens · 28/11/2015 13:10

We've done various things. Go on holiday and get a small present whilst we're away, buy a selection of gifts that are surprises, ask what the other one wants, buy a large gift, buy a big thing to share, make each other gifts. I don't think we'll ever settle on one thing, it's nice to vary it according to what else is going on. We have the same birthday that's the same as Christmas in that it's a shared day.

fuzzpig · 28/11/2015 13:27

We surprise each other. Although the last couple of years I did say 'please could I have some Lego' :o so I knew what one of my presents was (just not what set IYSWIM). He puts a lot of thought into my presents and they have in the past made me cry (in a good way) because nobody else in the world would've known to find it for me. Not expensive things generally, just really unusual things.

One year I did a wishlist for myself, I can't even remember why but I think I was quite anxious that year and just wanted everything to be predictable. But I regretted it when I had no surprises!

For DH I have specific wishlists on Amazon and secretly add to it any time he mentions something he remembers (like weird old boring sci fi series and stuff) and then by the time Christmas rolls around he's forgotten having mentioned it and it's a big surprise that makes him happy.

We also buy a board game every Christmas which arrives 'from Santa' (after all, we've been good all year too ) but we take turns in choosing - we discuss it and look at reviews etc together but the actual decision is the chooser's.

I agree it's funny how presents show love (or not) in different ways to different people. I get horrendous anxiety about giving presents to anyone other than my own family (I have AS and I think it's to do with not being able to 'mind read' and know if the person likes it or not) but I LOVE choosing things for my DCs, DSCs and DH. My mum has never really done presents - I used to hate Christmas and birthdays because of it, not in an 'I want stuff' way but just because it hurt to see how little my mum actually knew me; she would always give me a scarf or something and say 'if you don't want it I'll have it'. My dad has never given me a birthday or Christmas present in his life - and in fact only recently started giving my mum presents on those occasions - BUT throughout my whole life, just now and again he would see something like a CD or book and get it for me 'just because' - and those things would always be completely perfect and show that he 'gets me'. :)

That was a ridiculous amount of waffle for such a simple question, sorry

CatMilkMan · 28/11/2015 13:46

Do spends less than me but her gifts mean more, I'm not as good as she is so I make up for it with quantity over quality.

NotCitrus · 28/11/2015 13:48

When we were younger we had long lists and circulated them round the ILs, and were tipsy enough by the time we opened the presents to have forgotten what we'd asked for!

Post dc, we have everything we want really, and less spare cash and very little time to shop, so gifts are a bit tokenistic - I've had a voucher for the local salon and asurprise book for the last few years, while I get him a shirt, pants, and a book or DVD. And a game for us all.

For my birthday I wanted new earrings and added lots to "items I'm watching" on EBay, which worked well - got 2 lovely pairs.

jevoudrais · 28/11/2015 13:55

We buy each other presents every year. His family do lists so I sort of do that too now but usually get surprises as my lists aren't very good apparently.

His birthday is 30th. Mum's 29th, SIL's 27th. Mine is four days after our anniversary in Jan. Expensive time of year.

I don't like my birthday so Christmas is the only time of year I get presents. Be quite miffed if DH said maybe we shouldn't bother.

JustAWeeProblem · 28/11/2015 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrtwitsglasseye · 28/11/2015 14:26

We don't buy for each other or for any adults in the family (they don't buy for us either). It's a nice idea but we just can't afford it. One year we had a bit more than usual and I bought dh a kindle fire. I would always get a surprise.

OurBlanche · 28/11/2015 16:09

We start to wonder about electronic upgrades but mainly we look at little things that make the whole winter more enjoyable.

So we might walk around a Christmas / food market and buy something. Today it was biltong, wild boar salami, little bit of 3 different cheeses, 2 lots of olives and some oxtail.

All except the oxtail will be a picky bits tea tomorrow and the oxtail will go in midweek.

Next weekend it might be books, whether library or shops. Or picking up some weather proof coats...

We've missed that last music fair, but will probably do the January one.

But we don't do specific presents any more.

Orangesarenot · 28/11/2015 16:15

I love how many other people on this thread are saying just token bits, or nothing at all. My friends say we're weird because DH and I tend to splurge on an amazing meal or concert tickets or nice wine, rather than giving each other something we need to wrap and unwrap. Nice to know we're not the only ones! Saves a whole heap of November/December stress, and means we have lots of time free to do stuff together.

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