to not send my Dd back to school until they address my concerns

[Allisgood1]

I am fuming.

Dd is 7. She is VERY shy and sensitive (and yes, probably very annoying for teachers).

In June she fell off a fence after school and hurt her wrist. The next morning she was fine but she was holding her wrist close to her. DH took her to school and specifically asked that she not do PE as she had a sprained wrist. She did PE. When I picked her up they said "oh she was fine to do it". Dd was still holding her wrist in one position and very tearful. I took her to ooh and she had a broken wrist. Our fault for not realizing but we also hadn't been with her all day.

About two weeks ago she had a filling at the dentist. The next morning she was complaining of pain so we gave her calpol and ibuprofen and sent her to school (with the meds) and told the office to call us if she got any worse. That afternoon when DH picked up her teacher said she shouldn't have been sent in. That evening an ooh dentist diagnosed her with an abcsess. When I emailed the teacher to explain she would likely be late in Monday as we were taking her to the dentist she said that Dd was "unable to concentrate and very tearful on Friday". Wtf wasn't I called then!????

Yesterday was final straw. She was fine going in but had missed two doses of antibiotics because school didn't give them to her at lunch and didn't give them to her at going home time (by the time we realized it was evening). I had a call from the office saying Dd had been for her flu vaccine and the nurse had taken her temp and it was "very high" and the nurse had advised she go home. Dd got home and looked awful. How in the hell did she go all day without anyone noticing "Dd looks unwell".

The school is new and they obviously care about their Ofsted but the neglect in care to protect attendance records has resulted in a loss of trust. I emailed the head and said she won't be coming back until I am able to come in and review their sickness at school policy. Am I overreacting?

I don't think anybody is saying the OP should have known her dd had a broken wrist.

We are saying that if the OP didn't work it out, why should school have worked it out and acted on it?

Honestly, it shocks me that people are so accepting of their childrens school neglect and complacency while in loco parentis to the point they tell other people they're expecting too much for some simple common courtesy of expecting their child to be looked after and kept and eye on when told they're not 100% well, but not ill enough to keep off!

I think most people aren't saying that though. They are saying that the school might not be able to spot it any better than the OP did.

I would still like to know in what way this 'VERY shy and sensitive' child is annoying for the teachers.

Neglect? Are you shitting me Skullyton?! You sound like one of those parents.

what, one of those parents who communicates regularly with the school, is on first name terms with the teachers, reception staff and governors and takes time to speak to them often?

Yup.

Its called having to be one of THOSE parents because my oldest child is disabled and has significant SEN.

I have no issues in being it either.

YABU on the anti biotics front being left at school but not in the missed dose.

As for the wrist. I'd be wanting to know why your dd was allowed to be climbing on the fence to start with and why you weren't called after she had done it. Yeah you probably should of taken her to OOH but if she's like my dd and has a low pain tolerance then I'd probably have done the same thing assumed it was a sprain and sent her in asking for her to be excused from PE. Her teachers should of picked up on the fact it was worse and phoned to advise you to take her up to OOH for all you know it was initially a sprain and PE made it worse. But that's a hind sight thing and something that can't be proved.

Toothache. She'd been to the dentist. I'd have done the same thing and monitored it if it was still sore after school. As for not mentioning she was tearful on the Friday that was wrong.

YANBU to ask for schools sickness policy. I'd be in school asking to see the head and ask what measures are in place to prevent it.

But Perm.. a NURSE told them she was unwell, and the school STILL didn't phone the OP, and judging by phonecalls and conversations, its not that the school didn't notice at all, its that they didn't act on it, like the OP requested.

This isn't an issue about the school not noticing, its about them not paying attention to what the OP has requested.

Skullyton, you're making sure your DC have teacher's attention (and with good reason if your child has a disability and SEN). Perhaps they also have a 1:1 which would definitely help with that. However, it would be impossible for teachers to be so on top of the needs of every single child. I'm sure there are certain kids who are more on the radar, because of the kids' needs themselves or the parents who can be PITAs.

In the midst of the madness which is a class of 7yos, OP's dd is a bit more tearful and finding it hard to concentrate today: Ah, she must have a tooth abscess, let's phone her parents and get them to pick her up.

Merry, my oldest, yes, but i also have another child in the same school who has no issues and is in class with 30 other 6/7yos. Her teacher still manages to flag up to me if she's not feeling great.

its not that hard a task, and several teachers who've posted on here have said that as well. I'm saying it as a parent and as someone who's worked as a TA

If a parent has taken time to flag up that there is an issue, its not unreasonable to expect it to be kept an eye on!

I find it a shame that people on this thread think it is!

Have skim read the thread, the wrist to me is 100% your dh fault, he was there at the time and he noticed she was holding it more closely the following day. This would have been enough for me to warrant a quick trip to a&e to put my mind at rest.

Yes they probably should have rung you re the tooth and yes they should have rung you if she had a temperature.

You should have checked she had the antibiotics on her when she left school but yes they should have given her the lunch time dose. At dds school if she has had antibiotics I would have to go to the office to hand them in at the start of the day and back again at the end of the day to collect.

I would be mortified to discover i had sent dd in with a broken wrist regardless of if she had been made to do PE or not.

Hufflebottom "As for the wrist. I'd be wanting to know why your dd was allowed to be climbing on the fence to start with"

Re-read the OP; it was done after school.

... in her dh's care, actually, it says in a subsequent post. So he's the one she should have been asking.

School isn't a sick bay. It's not like nursery where they didn't mind helping with coats and blowing noses and making nests for them to lie down and have a rest. It's a busy working environment and there are a lot of children for one overworked adult.

Exactly.

Most medication for children is calculated so that the doses are administered at home; breakfast, after school, bedtime.(information from local chemist, member of the Governing Body.) They should not need to be given at school; if they are, the child is too unwell to be there

Interesting point.

But Skully, they DID call her:

I had a call from the office saying Dd had been for her flu vaccine and the nurse had taken her temp and it was "very high" and the nurse had advised she go home.

I assumed that call was made when the nurse said she should go home, but maybe I've missed something. Was that not the case?

What time of day did she have her flu jab? If it was in the morning, then she wouldn't have been suffering so long.

And don't forget that you would obviously recognise she looked unwell (and different from usual) but she is your daughter. The school can't be expected to know her that well, and the nurse noticed because, well, she is a nurse and that's her job.

In the toothache example, the teacher told the OP's dh that she had been tearful and unable to concentrate on the day that ended with the access being diagnosed - so the teacher did notice something, but didn't act on it.

On the day where the girl spiked a temperature, the school nurse took her temperature and said she should be sent home - the school did nothing.

The school forgot to give her the antibiotics.

I don't think it is unreasonable to expect a bit more care from the school than they seem to have delivered in these instances. No-one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes, but three such mistakes, in a short period of time, is not particularly creditable, in the part of the school, IMO.

In answer to those who are horrified at the OP sending her dd to school with a fractured wrist, let me repeat - I am a trained nurse, and I still managed to miss the fact that ds2 had broken his wrist - there was no deformity (children often get green stick fractures, which may not look as obviously deformed as when an adult has a fracture), and though it was sore, it was not severely painful, the pain went away with calpol, he slept fine, and played football the next day - all of which led me away from thinking 'fracture'. It was only when he tried to put his weight in the wrist and collapsed in pain that we took him to A&E, where an x-Ray showed the fracture.

So I can absolutely believe that the OP and her dh thought it was just sore/twisted/sprained, and didn't warrant keeping her off school, and I don't think this means they are neglectful parents.

Apologies - I missed the bit about the office phoning about the temperature.

SD, are you reading a different thread ?

No one is "horrified" that op and her H missed the fracture.

I don't think missing a fracture is a problem.

but, I do think it is strange to be aware enough their is an injury to think they need to miss PE but not to seek some sort of medical attention for the injury. Personally I would with go for the it seems ok carry and as normal approach or the oh doesn't seem right lets get it checked. The op seemed to acknowledge that there was an injury but then didn't do anything much about it.

Agree, people aren't criticising missing the fracture after all, we've all been there but just think it's a bit much to complain to the school for also missing it.

Well - it has been said that she failed to get appropriate care for her dd, and I got an overall impression from the thread that a number of people were judging her for having sent her dd in with a fractured wrist. If I have incorrectly conflated all this into 'people being horrified', I am sorry.

Shit sorry clam I will actually read the post properly next time. And I wear glasses!

Also, in my experience, if a child has a genuine injury, then they would be unlikely to use the limb during PE, if you see what I mean. So, she would probably have been self-limiting her movement on it and unlikely to have made it worse for herself.

What I mean is (I think), I had a child last week who said he'd damaged his ankle falling off his bike and his mum had said he couldn't go out to play or do any PE "or anything." There was no note. Children do this all the time, and we use our discretion. After having watched him move around perfectly fine all morning without any limp or wincing, and at one point hopping up and down with his mates in the cloakroom, I told him to get changed for PE with the others and have a go at as much as he felt able and to sit out if anything hurt. Again, watching him , he made no attempt to protect or limit movement on that ankle, so I deduced it was alright. At least, I didn't hear anything further.

Interestingly, it's often the case that the fracture "label" gets more attention than a sprain or tissue damage, even though that can sometimes be more painful than a minor crack.