aibu to think period pain shouldn't be that bad? [title edited by MNHQ]

[scarredforlife]

My girlfriend has her period today, granted she always says the first day is the worst. I've had to hand wash three cushion covers because she bled through them, now she's just sheepishly taken the bedsheet down with blood on it and is basically crawling back up the stairs!
I sound like a typical man but is it normal to be that bad? Genuinely concerned

But it shouldnt matter where anything is posted. People should not need to stop and think about how they should word things in order to get a friendly or nasty response.

Aibu is a place for people to respond in a matter of fact tone etc. But people take it to the extreme and actually bully people. Its disgusting to think that grown women think it is acceptable to speak to people in the way they do, because somebody has unfortunately, not been aware that the aibu section is for people to be as bitchy as possible!

Any post on AIBU gets automatic abuse. I've been here 9 years and it's got worse and worse, a couple of posters in particular recently have really made me rethink my stance on the hide poster option. Jumping in with pure nastiness whatever the subject. But we let people get away with it on AIBU because it's somehow expected. It's just a breeding ground for bullies. You always did need to be a bit robust to post here but it's taking the piss now.

I can't work for two days a month as I literally can't even stand up from the pain. I lie on the bathroom floor on my knees whimpering and screaming. It's been like that for 30 years so I think you are just being incredibly incredibly clueless, and that's putting it nicely.

Yes 'please help I am genuinely concerned' would have been great in the title.

I doubt if the OP will come back. I wouldn't. Some of the posts on here have been disgraceful - and I didn't even see the deleted ones.

On the plus side, my period pains were so bad that I found Labour a piece of piss Tbh.
Op..ask mnhq to edit your thread title...you need to make it clear you are posting out of concern.
I think your gf needs to make appt with her gp asap.

The OP was extremely badly worded and badly placed in AIBU. For a man to suggest that period pain "isn't that bad" and go on to complain about stained cushions and sheets before finally adding on that actually he's a bit worried as a sort of afterthought was very clumsy. If I'm honest, it makes me question his genuine motives, but hey.

But as ever with threads like this, I want to ask: if you have a genuine, serious medical question, why the hell aren't you asking a doctor?

At times my period is so bad I cannot stand up or walk, it feels as if my insides are being scraped out of me with a dagger. I bleed through bedding etc and it looks like a bloodbath. So yes, it can be that bad. I'm hoping your op is simply ignorantly worded as you sound awful.

That's exactly my thoughts Sheba.

I had dysmenorrhea from being about 13 years old and it was hell for the first day every time.
My dd is like this now, she is not yet 12 and has lots of pain.
Childbirth was a sinch though, so every cloud

Oh god, poor OP!

I must confess I got the wrong end of the stick when I read the title and skimmed over the OP but thankfully I decided to read the thread.

If she's doubled up in pain where it's unbearable, it could be an ectopic pregnancy and a burst Fallopian tube and she needs to go to A&E with utmost urgency.

If she is bleeding like this it could also be a miscarriage.

I'm truly sorry so many people got the wrong end of the stick and I really hope MNHQ edit the title ASAP to reflect your actual question.

Take her to A &E if this is still going on.

And yes I do think it was very badly worded so I can why it got people's backs up. But still!

Well a man can hardly ask a doctor about his partner's periods can he? An anonymous forum full of women seems a reasonable place to ask "is this normal"? And yes it was a bit ambiguous whether he was genuinely concerned/troll/arsehole but what is there to be lost by assuming the best and spreading valid information? Personally I feel that "Period effects vary wildly between women and can be appalling but if they are disabling then medical help may well be available" is a message that can never be repeated too many times.

The OPs girlfriend has told him that this is normal for her.

Normal for her is not the same as normal in general though, or not worthy of medical intervention.

Rule of thumb: Period pain that's worse than normal should always be investigated.

I'm reporting this thread. Absolutely disgraceful replies to the OP who was clearly just asking for advice. The man-hating rudeness (a man has dared to ask a question about period pain) is astounding. Just read the thread properly.

So many trolls on here.

Ok wow didn't expect this reaction, trying to remember what you all said
Ok 1) no I wasn't annoyed at having to wash the covers, I simply mentioned that as a guide to how bad the bleeding was
2) not on any contraception and doesn't want to be
3) never spoken to a doctor about periods
4) yes I was at the birth, I watched her fight for her life as she took fit after fit. While all midwives thought she was joking
5) she didn't post this, after the comments I think she'd be scared to
6) in a forum full of woman, most of whom have given birth I thought what have I got to loose.
7) took her to the hospital and they have confirmed its a miscarriage. So although most of you called me a twat, your genuine comments have helped us so thank you

Oh no, I'm so sorry Scarred, that's sad. Glad you took her to the hospital though and hope she will be ok :(

look after both of you, her especially.

Oh I'm so sorry, but glad that the constructive posters (who were in the majority although the others may have been more eyecatching) have helped you get her the right help.

So sorry for both of you.

So sorry

I'm really sorry to hear that.

I hope some of the comments haven't upset you too much.