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About 'International Men's Day'
166

ZoeTurtle · 19/11/2015 08:45

I've just been informed by a colleague that it's International Men's Day. According to their website:

It is an occasion for men to celebrate their achievements and contributions, in particular their contributions to community, family, marriage, and child care while highlighting the discrimination against them.

AIBU to think this is MRA bollocks or is there a big problem of "discrimination against men" that we should be highlighting?

OP's posts:
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HaydeeofMonteCristo · 19/11/2015 10:08

slutbucket it's not vitriol, it's just not wanting to gloss over the fact that society is not equal.

And it's not historically that men had things better, it is still the case today. The gender pay gap, for instance, is still there, and men have the majority of top jobs in government, business and the professions.

I have a son and a daughter, and I want them to be treated equally and have equal chances in life.

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Slutbucket · 19/11/2015 10:09

People discussing cats also is also annoying and actually highlights the fact why men need a day. If this happened on a men's site about international women's day then they would be outrage. I'm actually quite offended by it.

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Shakey15000 · 19/11/2015 10:10

Well, they cancelled marking the event at The University of York. The headline is "sensationalist" but the content makes for sad reading imo-

www.breitbart.com/tech/2015/11/17/the-university-of-york-doesnt-care-about-male-suicide/

And this is even more distressing (contains reference to a male suicide)

www.breitbart.com/big-journalism/2015/11/18/male-university-of-york-student-commits-suicide-on-day-his-university-ditches-international-mens-day-after-pressure-from-feminists/

Sigh.

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DamnBamboo · 19/11/2015 10:10

It's not about equality though is it?
It's about highlighting genuine positive and areas for improvement.
yes women have it worse in so many areas, but why should we not also strive to improve certain aspects of society which we know will disproportionately negatively impact young males too. My sons will be men one day, I don't see why things can't also be better for them too.

It doesn't mean you can't highlight and support both!

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MissFitt68 · 19/11/2015 10:14

bamboo I agree with you wholeheartedly

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Slutbucket · 19/11/2015 10:14

Seems like vitriol to me sorry to say. There is a lot of discrimination towards men too especially in the family courts. Yes we live in a patriarchal society that needs addressing but this shouldn't be done at the expense if squashing another groups rights.

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SuburbanRhonda · 19/11/2015 10:15

weeblueberry

That Twitter link is fab and has set me up for the day Smile

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HaydeeofMonteCristo · 19/11/2015 10:19

For instance I think it is fine to have women's only times at the gym, where women might feel uncomfortable, but not men's. Also fine to have men's/ dad's only times at playgroups etc where they might feel uncomfortable/ left out.

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Drew64 · 19/11/2015 10:21

  1. To promote positive male role models; not just movie stars and sports men but everyday, working class men who are living decent, honest lives.

  2. To celebrate men's positive contributions to society, community, family, marriage, child care, and to the environment.

  3. To focus on men's health and well being; social, emotional, physical and spiritual.

  4. To highlight discrimination against men; in areas of social services, social attitudes and expectations, and law

  5. To improve gender relations and promote gender equality

  6. To create a safer, better world; where people can be safe and grow to reach their full potential..
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Whattheydonttellyou · 19/11/2015 10:38

Yes, agree Shirt. I worked in this field and men were over represented in enduring mental health/addictions mostly, but not always, due to early teen abuse of cannabis and LSD.

Complex area really as it was never clear whether equal numbers of men and women abused substances and it was just men going on to experience enduring mental health issues (schizophrenia, bipolar, alcohol/drug induced psychosis) or whether more men abused substances so came into services for mh. The ratio in our area of mh was approx. 90% men to 10% women using mh services.

A significant number of men disclosed early childhood abuse during counselling so more complex still. Mostly, but not exclusively, this was perpetrated by men in the family.

We cannot solve the world's problems so it is enough for now just to keep those we love safe and feeling loved.

Any international day is good in my view as it helps us focus and spread the love.

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Shakey15000 · 19/11/2015 10:42

So, are some women saying that it's right to have an IWD but not an IMD? Confused

If that's the case, and historically/currently some women feel that men can't possibly understand female issues (whether it be inequality etc) because they are men then why can't it apply the other way around? In that women can't possibly understand that men have issues also that require addressing, because they are women.

I don't feel that it ignores the fact that women have been unequal etc and there is a need for feminism. But I think women going against it doesn't help the feminist cause.

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Screaminlikeabanshee · 19/11/2015 10:44

Just to add to the MH axis, might the high numbers also be due to boys being more likely to be diagnosed with condition such as Autism, Anxiety disorders, ADHD etc???

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someonestolemynick · 19/11/2015 10:47

I think this thread is excellent prove why an international men's day seeing that the idea that men can be discriminated against disadvantaged offends so many posters on here.

And just for illustration purposes, occasions when men face discrimination:

  1. Obtaining contact with children after divorce.
    Admittedly this issue is getting better but men face a much harder struggle than women to obtain contact or residents parent status.

  2. Entering traditionally female professions
    If you have read a "I'm uncomfortable with the male nursery nurse being near my children" you will know what I'm talking about. If a woman wants to enter a "male job", she will be encouraged by a lot of people (not by everyone of course). If a man wants to enter a " female profession", he will almost universally have his motives questioned and his masculinity doubted.

  3. Obtaining Help after being victims of abuse, rape or domestic violence
    These crimes are so universally portrayed as "male on female", that any man on the receiving end of these crimes, find it almost impossible to be believed or get asked why they don't defend themselves (victim blaming in other words).

    What modern feminists people need to realise is that male discrimination in certain areas doesn't take anything away from female discrimination in other areas.
    If we campaign for better mental health treatment it will benefit everyone. After all seeing emotional distress and mental health problems as a female thing does a disservice to women as well.
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BeyondThirty · 19/11/2015 10:49

Scream, it has been suggested that girls/women suffer these in similar numbers, they are just massively underdiagnosed

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BeyondThirty · 19/11/2015 10:50

(And then overdiagnosed with just anxiety/depression)

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Screaminlikeabanshee · 19/11/2015 10:54

Really? that interesting. Do you have any links to good sources at all?

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BeyondThirty · 19/11/2015 10:55

I agree with IMD in theory btw (should i do a shout out here to my dh/sahd/carer? My mum and dh brought up by single dads? Wine to all the men in my life (and fruit shoots for my DSs) )

I just think mh stats presented in a particular way and viewed in a vacuum dont help the cause for mens mh. My correcting is not anti men, it is anti bias.

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BeyondThirty · 19/11/2015 10:59

There is a thread in th mumsnetters with sn topic that has a lot of good links on it (there are a lot of mners diagnosed with asd/adhd as adults, probably at least one reading this now Grin - i'm halfway through the diagnostic process myself)

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CultureSucksDownWords · 19/11/2015 11:03

Is a lot of the focus of IMD aimed at understanding why the list of issues (as presented earlier in the thread) are not being addressed by men in positions of power/authority? Are men being discriminated and disadvantaged by other men?

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RonaldMcDonald · 19/11/2015 11:13

International Men's Day can be used really positively to highlight services that men know nothing about or don't avail of
I'm all for it

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FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 19/11/2015 11:14

someonestolemynick

I'd love to see your sources for your assertions.

And sorry but 'modern feminists' do realise that male discrimination in certain areas doesn't take anything away from female discrimination in other areas.

By why (for example) can we not talk about women being raped without bleating about 'men get raped too you know!'. Saying one exists doesn't mean the other doesn't. But they can be spoken about separately.

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Drew64 · 19/11/2015 11:16

On March the 8th how would you all feel if all the men on MN posted similar comments.

AIBU to think this is MRA bollocks or is there a big problem of "discrimination against men" that we should be highlighting?

Surely to some male activists there is a big problem. It depends on who’s point you are viewing it from.

This has to be a spoof, surely?
I always thought that in return for International Women's Day, men got the other 364 days, or was I wrong about that?

Don’t take the piss. That’s discrimination. How would you feel if men span your comment the other way round. You would be insulted wouldn’t you?

Who gives a shit?
On that note, it is apparently International Toilet Day today, raising awareness of sanitation in developing countries.

Lot’s of men give a shit, but obviously not you. I shall remind you that I don’t give a shit on 8th March next year.

I think it's ridiculous. Just like the "why don't we have white history month" argument.
Men still have massive privilege in society and that is what needs highlighting not some supposed "discrimination".

Well it’s not ridiculous
To promote positive male role models
To celebrate men's positive contributions to society
To focus on men's health and well being
To highlight discrimination against men
To improve gender relations and promote gender equality
To create a safer, better world

The discrimination they face? Just for being male?
Hahaha... I don't think any of them are discriminated against because they are male.

The legal system and family courts can discriminate against men in regard to child custody and divorce.
Domestic violence
Education
Health
Military conscription

To name a few

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specialsubject · 19/11/2015 11:17

so much man-hate on MN. Happy to shag them it seems, but that's it.

some people need to take a long hard look in the mirror.

hate doesn't solve anything.

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DamnBamboo · 19/11/2015 11:23

By why (for example) can we not talk about women being raped without bleating about 'men get raped too you know!'. Saying one exists doesn't mean the other doesn't. But they can be spoken about separately

Of course they can. Who on earth says they can't? Confused

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